So, I'm not anywhere near a perfect person. In fact, I'm probably one of the most flawed people I know next to "Josephine March" - (See - Little Women).
Yesterday, I had a very bad day. One of those, "terrible, no good, horrible bad days". I just started off in a funk and it followed me around all day. I probably could of taken myself out of it. But, instead I let it influence my entire day. I knew very little joy yesterday. Thanks to my kids I was able to peel a few smiles out but other than that I was a pretty sour person after all my drama. (See previous blog post.)
I wasn't the nicest wife to my husband yesterday or this morning. I just really was a bad apple. For some reason sometimes my sinful pride just gets in the way of what "I" know to be right and true for me to be. Thankfully, my husband was made for me by God and has a very forgiving nature and has forgiven me. However, I need to continue to ask for his forgiveness and make up for letting him down these past 24 hours. I called him this morning to tell him that I love him and although I didn't exactly give the perfect apology (still holding on to some dumb pride - awful I know but true) but told me that I wanted to spend some time with him this weekend.
I have not found a good baby sitter here in Vegas. So, for us to have a good date night is very seldom and far and few inbetween. Most couples with kids need to find a date night at least once a month and if they can should do it once a week. The more we lose out on spending time together alone the more I see us breaking down in our communication. Our relationship just like any relationship needs work and time to invest in one another. If you don't give it that then it just won't be as strong as it should be.
Tomorrow, I am going to be brave and allow people that I don't know to watch my two boys. Some of the local casinos here in Vegas have a company called Kidquest inside the building that has a daycare type of environment/staff that charges hourly for people to drop off their kids for a few hours. I have allowed Clayton to go here a few times and he has really enjoyed it each time. Even though he tells me he has fun when he goes it is still breaks my heart to drop him off there. I have never allowed them to watch my baby feeling that he is too young. But, I know he would be ok if I do. They require certain things of the kids before they allow them to be cared for in this facility which makes me feel better. Each person I have met there has made me feel very comfortable with this experience. I just can't help though as a s.a.h.m. feeling guilty, heavy hearted and sad leaving my boys in the hands of strangers. I know that most Moms would feel this way whether they work or don't outside of the home. However, at this point in my life I just don't have a lot of options not having any family here or have found a good reliable, flexible schedule, trustworthy person to help me. Breaks my heart but is a true reality of being a military wife being moved somewhere away from family.
If you know me well, are a good friend, or family member just pray that all goes well for the few hours that my boys will be there.
I hope that this time together for Sean and I is helpful and encouraging for both of us to be able to give each other our full and complete attention and invest in the love we have for each other so that we can truly enjoy each other's company.
If you haven't had a date night with the love of your life recently, why not take a chance and have one tomorrow? I know I am!
Blessings to you all for a great weekend!
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