2/17/10 - Not getting their way

Its an everyday struggle to deal with my oldest son's strong will. Always asking for something he either doesn't need or shouldn't have. Being that he is my first child, I never knew these issues would begin so early in his development. The terrible 2's theory started for us at a year and a half. Unfortunately, the early start has not meant an early ending for us when it comes to bad behavior. I realize no child is absolutely perfect. No matter the disposition each child is going to respond negatively to not getting their way. As a parent, I feel it my ultimate duty and responsibility to teach my son life is not about always getting what you want. When you actually realize this principle the uphill battle for life gets a little less steep.

My youngest son just turned 9 months old a few weeks ago. He is also being put through "not getting your way" boot camp. I know it sounds a little "strict" to start so early but I've learned already that its never too early to teach your child something as simple as "you need to take a nap". When I am doing what is best for my children this process comes easy and without stress. Thankfully, I was "broke in" by my oldest to help me with this usually emotional experience.

Just even today Clayton said he wanted to have gumballs in his pocket while he slept. I thought for a minute, "hey, if this means he'll lay down easily and take a nap, maybe its worth it?" Then I started to envision gum all over his sheets, comforter, pillows, toys, carpet, etc. The answer, "no" flowed easily out of my mouth. He of course began to cry and protest but I stood my ground and lovingly gave him a hug and kiss and wished him a pleasant nap. Still "not" in love with the idea of wanting to take a nap without his beloved gum balls he then began to ask for specific toys. I told him "no" again and walked out of the room. The crying began and some occasional screaming but it didn't last long and the nap commenced as scheduled.

My youngest son usually I will nurse him to sleep and lay him down. He most days succombes to this routine very easily and submissively. However, today, it was all about playing, clapping his hands (a new development in the last week) and wanting to play with the remote, my iphone, and anything else he could find within grabbing distance. I thought that maybe I could rock him to sleep but no, there was more and more fidgeting so I decided it was time for the you have to take a nap regiment. So, I laid him down, and put a blanket over him. As I walked out the door I had a screaming child watch me close the door. His face red with anger and eyes full of tears. This should make me melt and turn around and do whatever he wants me to do. However, all morning long he has been rubbing his eyes, and very fussy. A runny nose and small cough has informed me that this child needs as much rest as he is willing to get. The longer I keep him up the harder his little immune system will have to work to fight off any infection or bacteria he is dealing with. So, knowing what is best for this little baby, I walked on and procceeded downstairs where the crying quickly subsided before I even got a chance to pick up my laptop to blog.

There is so much to be learned about being a parent.

However, the "not letting them get their way" part is something I have thankfully embraced as a lesson well learned.

I look forward to the rest of the day and to their lives to continuing this principle hoping that it will prepare them for the rest of their lives and especially for when God has willed them to become a parent themselves.

Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!