Well, here its Friday afternoon and most of you are already celebrating the weekend finally arriving after a long, tiring and most likely busy week.
Its too bad that still my weekend does not begin until my husband is done with his work for the week. He left at 1:30 this afternoon to push on and finish hard. He left yesterday same time and I never know what time he gets home so I always have to ask him when I see him the next morning. The last few days he hasn't even gotten in until 4:30 am which as most of you know this is more than a 14 hour work day. I feel so badly for him because I know he's running on fumes. I myself am also running on fumes because doing most of what needs to be done on my own obviously provides a challenge. On top of everything, I am trying so hard to keep up with my back treatments (3 times a week - for the next month) that I had to miss my normal gym routine. To make up for it I went extra and longer intervals. I feel like kicking myself in the rear for the poorly planned strategy but in the end I can see that I'm benefiting from all my hard work.
I really miss my husband and can't believe how little we've seen each other this week.
I'm trying not to complain about not seeing him much because at least I do get to see him. Even if it is for short lengths of time at least it is something. Knowing how many families are going with out their husband/wives due to deployments helps me hold my tongue and mind from feeling sorry for myself. I like anyone fall short of this being human, but I at least try to keep things in perspective. I couldn't imagine working on a night shift like that. If I even attempted it I'm sure they'd find me sleeping on the job or talking nonsense at some point. It truly impresses me about my husband his sense of duty. Doing something because he has too, even though nothing in him feels it has the strength or energy too. Knowing him I realize he isn't slacking either. He's giving it his all and doing his best to get the job done. This character trait in him I will always admire. Many times we have been out and about in public and people have asked him or me if he is in the military. Sometimes, I thought it offensive thinking maybe he was acting in a way that caused them to think badly of him. The other day when driving home from somewhere I asked him about this wondering if he is like the way he is because of his job in the military or because this is just who he is. His answer was interesting. Explaining that who he is he feels is both because he is that way and because he is in the military, equally. Some people in this world were just meant to be who they are and be doing what they are doing.
Not so sure this speaks true of me. Thankfully, I know that being a Mom and wife is both fulfilling and purposeful. It also allows me to feel each and everyday that I'm making a difference in way I know I probably could never do without these roles being played in my life.
I do know however, that having my husband gone, working as hard as he has, getting as little sleep as he has, feeling sick all at the same time makes me truly love him dearly. This week although difficult, exhausting, and hectic can say that I'm thankful for it because it has allowed me to treasure our relationship and the love we have for each other more powerfully than maybe I was before this week.
Thank you God for providing me with this man. Thank you for his character, integrity, strength of honor, and faithfulness. I pray you use his gifts and strengths in a awesome way in his job each and everyday. Be with him and lead his paths with wisdom and clarity. Thank you for such a great partner in this life and help me be the "helper" that He needs in the best possible way I can. Thank you for our family and for all that you provide for us daily. For with out you we are nothing, have nothing can do nothing. Thank you for everything.
I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed weekend.
Enjoy the time you have with your family and loved ones..
Take some time today to stop and tell them how much they mean to you, how thankful you are for them, and how truly blessed you are to have them in your life.
I know I plan on it!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
2/25/10 - Pushing through....even though you wanna stop
Oh, bed where art thou? I really wanted to lay down today. I wanted to be able to rest my sore muscles for just a half an hour. To enjoy doing nothing, nothing at all. Maybe even close my eyes just for a few minutes of bliss. Unfortunately, this week has been flying by and the things I have been putting off are finally at "crunch" time and so there was a price to be paid for procrastinating.
I went to the gym this morning for several reasons. My schedule this week has caused me to miss my normal gym workout routine. So what I have missed in 3 days I have crammed into less than 24 hours. I worked out last night for two hours and then again this morning. I really "felt" the burn this morning and was a little less "enthusiastic" and at times really had to push myself to keep the intensity.
After we got home I fed the boys lunch and waited for the Salvation Army to come pick up my old couches we were donating along with some other items we didn't need. As the truck pulled up I thought for a minute about how much I have loved these couches. Many wonderful memories go into buying them as they were one of my first purchases when I bought my first house in Omaha on my own. I was only 26 when I got these so they have been a part of my life for a long time. My husband and I watched our first movie together on the love seat and my two sons have both played on them many a night together. You just can't even fathom how much furniture turns into a "memory" along with upholding its purpose in your home.
Once the couches were gone I was left with a very open living room and the obvious fact that I needed to shampoo the carpets so that when the new ones are delivered tomorrow the carpets are freshly cleaned. I told Sean today when he left for work how spent I am today. How, I was looking forward to laying down once Calvin was laid down. I then remembered that I had wanted to shampoo the carpets and mentioned to him that I needed to do it but would put it off for tomorrow. I hesitated and as he looked up from tying his combat boot (his uniform required shoes) said, maybe I should do it today. He never insists on me doing housework before getting much needed rest. Just minutes before he had said that if I got time today that I should get some rest. So, I knew he and I were both on the same page because I could do it tomorrow but, it may not be fully dry if I waited. So, I unwillingly pushed forward and got it done. I don't just put water in the container and the cleaning fluid, I boil the water first this santizes the carpet and ensures that any food stains/juice/etc are more easily pulled out of the carpet fibers loosening it with the heat of the water. So, in the least it is a very long and detailed process. (Other protocols that I do that I won't bore you with.) Upon completion I was in a full on sweat and super exhausted.
Once I had rinsed out the carpet cleaning containers I thought long and hard about supper preparation. What was I going to do? Was I going to order a pizza? Go get some takeout? Cook something?? Really? Being this tired today was I going to put myself through the prep, cook, and clean process? Really? Yes, really. So, I pushed through, prep, cook and cleaned.
I then sat for the first time today and thought how badly the laundry I had washed and dried was needing some much needed attention. So many thoughts went through my mind. I can do it tomorrow. Its not a "priority"! Go upstairs and lay down! Nope, I sat and pulled the laundry baskets toward me and the folding and organizing began. I then pushed on and finished loading the dishwasher and ran the load. Two more loads of laundry were calling my name as well so on did I go to the laundry room to attend to those.
I at this point could of went upstairs to retire for a few minutes, but thought what a perfect time to do my blog and finish my daily Bible study. So, now as I close I tell you all. That how unfortunate it was that today I was unable to do my most desired wish but how thankful I am that so much got accomplished in the stead. Tomorrow though, I may not promise any of you that a nap will not be had. But, we'll see. I may have to push through again?? The good news for me is that being an "old" athlete it is when you feel the pain (side ache, burning muscles - not true injuries) and continue pushing through do you feel the most pride of attainment. It is this principle that I hope to pass on to my kids because I don't ever want them to be quitters.
My husband is running a tough schedule this week and as he left yesterday having only gotten a minimal of 4/5 hours of sleep said as he was walking out the door, "I know, I guess I can sleep when I'm dead." Yes, honey, you can sleep when we go to heaven. I think? We'll see what God's itinerary consists of. Hee hee.
Have a great Thursday night all.
Only one more day till the weekend.
We can do it! Let's push through........even though we wanna stop!
I went to the gym this morning for several reasons. My schedule this week has caused me to miss my normal gym workout routine. So what I have missed in 3 days I have crammed into less than 24 hours. I worked out last night for two hours and then again this morning. I really "felt" the burn this morning and was a little less "enthusiastic" and at times really had to push myself to keep the intensity.
After we got home I fed the boys lunch and waited for the Salvation Army to come pick up my old couches we were donating along with some other items we didn't need. As the truck pulled up I thought for a minute about how much I have loved these couches. Many wonderful memories go into buying them as they were one of my first purchases when I bought my first house in Omaha on my own. I was only 26 when I got these so they have been a part of my life for a long time. My husband and I watched our first movie together on the love seat and my two sons have both played on them many a night together. You just can't even fathom how much furniture turns into a "memory" along with upholding its purpose in your home.
Once the couches were gone I was left with a very open living room and the obvious fact that I needed to shampoo the carpets so that when the new ones are delivered tomorrow the carpets are freshly cleaned. I told Sean today when he left for work how spent I am today. How, I was looking forward to laying down once Calvin was laid down. I then remembered that I had wanted to shampoo the carpets and mentioned to him that I needed to do it but would put it off for tomorrow. I hesitated and as he looked up from tying his combat boot (his uniform required shoes) said, maybe I should do it today. He never insists on me doing housework before getting much needed rest. Just minutes before he had said that if I got time today that I should get some rest. So, I knew he and I were both on the same page because I could do it tomorrow but, it may not be fully dry if I waited. So, I unwillingly pushed forward and got it done. I don't just put water in the container and the cleaning fluid, I boil the water first this santizes the carpet and ensures that any food stains/juice/etc are more easily pulled out of the carpet fibers loosening it with the heat of the water. So, in the least it is a very long and detailed process. (Other protocols that I do that I won't bore you with.) Upon completion I was in a full on sweat and super exhausted.
Once I had rinsed out the carpet cleaning containers I thought long and hard about supper preparation. What was I going to do? Was I going to order a pizza? Go get some takeout? Cook something?? Really? Being this tired today was I going to put myself through the prep, cook, and clean process? Really? Yes, really. So, I pushed through, prep, cook and cleaned.
I then sat for the first time today and thought how badly the laundry I had washed and dried was needing some much needed attention. So many thoughts went through my mind. I can do it tomorrow. Its not a "priority"! Go upstairs and lay down! Nope, I sat and pulled the laundry baskets toward me and the folding and organizing began. I then pushed on and finished loading the dishwasher and ran the load. Two more loads of laundry were calling my name as well so on did I go to the laundry room to attend to those.
I at this point could of went upstairs to retire for a few minutes, but thought what a perfect time to do my blog and finish my daily Bible study. So, now as I close I tell you all. That how unfortunate it was that today I was unable to do my most desired wish but how thankful I am that so much got accomplished in the stead. Tomorrow though, I may not promise any of you that a nap will not be had. But, we'll see. I may have to push through again?? The good news for me is that being an "old" athlete it is when you feel the pain (side ache, burning muscles - not true injuries) and continue pushing through do you feel the most pride of attainment. It is this principle that I hope to pass on to my kids because I don't ever want them to be quitters.
My husband is running a tough schedule this week and as he left yesterday having only gotten a minimal of 4/5 hours of sleep said as he was walking out the door, "I know, I guess I can sleep when I'm dead." Yes, honey, you can sleep when we go to heaven. I think? We'll see what God's itinerary consists of. Hee hee.
Have a great Thursday night all.
Only one more day till the weekend.
We can do it! Let's push through........even though we wanna stop!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
2/24/10 - MTV's 16 & Pregnant Rant....adoption is not just an option its a gift!
Last night after my kids were tucked in bed, I had an opportunity to enjoy a few minutes of downtime. What did I do? Watched some good old drama reality tv. What is my deal? Why am I sucked into this brainless form of entertainment. Well, to be honest, because of just that. It's brainless and after a long day of being the main parent to my kids with my husband working long hours I needed a moment.
I ended up landing on MTV because of this show they have on Tuesday nights. 16 and Pregnant documents young teenage girls becoming single parents and all that entails with this complicated situation. Last night the 2 girls on the show were both dealing with some usually poor quality boys and some very dysfunctional parental relationships.
I won't go into great detail and for some reading this you can go ahead and place "judgmental" title on me. I do not care because these situations were so hard to watch.
The first show at 9pm was about a girl who got pregnant and the guy who she was in a relationship with was an alcoholic who lived 4 hrs away from her as well as being a few years older than her. He was unemployed and treated her inconsistently confusing her to know "who" this guy really was. Was he a "good" guy hiding behind his bad behavior or was he just a bad guy who had really bad behavior. After this baby was born he waited almost a month before calling her. Not visiting her just called her. She called him actually and he shared with her that he had not called her because he was in jail for a DUI. He didn't have a car he was driving his Dad's car on a suspended license. After he dumped her over the phone telling her that ,"his feelings for her had dropped" she went on a "its about me" venture. Going out almost all the time every night of the week leaving her baby in daycare dropped off by her Mother for 8 hrs a day and at night watched by her Mother. While the mother and daughter's volatile relationship was very evident through the show it obviously got worse once the baby arrived. As I watched this show all I could think about was this beautiful baby boy who was being "neglected" by his mother. All a baby wants is to be close to their parents. To be held, cuddled, loved and cared for in each and every way possible. Instead, it was being passed around all day only to be seeing his actual parent a few minutes of each day. Being a Mom of 2 boys I could never imagine. I am not "better" than this girl, but I am only to say how horrible for this baby boy to be treated this way. He did not ask to be put into this world but only when in this world wanted to be loved and loved well. As this baby gets older I am sure he will learn about how he came into this world and will probably feel a lot of loss knowing how he was treated by his mother and father through all this life chaos. I understand that when a teenage girl gets pregnant that they don't understand until after the baby comes that their life is forever changed. Its hard for them to make the decision to give the baby up for adoption because "they" want to raise the baby. But they also complain about "having to give up being young". Yes, that is true. When you become a Mom you "give up you" and "give to your babies". Even animals far below our intelligent level will first "feed" their young before feeding themselves. It is an instinctual behavior to put your baby before yourself. For a young mother who hasn't lived their life and go through the growing up process it is understandable the failure to accept this. We live in a world who say, "you can have it all." And to an extent that is true. "You" can have it all but this leaves some people in your life having to give up things they need.
Keep in mind this is "my" blog and "my" opinion.
I realize many will disagree with this and for that I do apologize. However, the true benefit of free speech is getting to use it as often as we want too. And through this blog post I am truly accessing this freedom with great liberality.
I just hope that more teenage girls who have unplanned pregnancies will consider adoption. Its not an option is a beautiful gift to your child and those prospective parents. I myself am adopted and if I got a chance ever to meet my biological Father who last I knew was still alive (my bio-mother passed away) I would go up to him and hug him. Look him in his eyes with many tears falling down out of my eyes and say, "thank you". "Thank you for making the best decision of my life because you gave me a beautiful and blessed life." I realize that it took a great unselfish act to give me the most wonderful future. If it had not been for this decision that sparked a catalystic change in my life forever. It was probably painful for him as I was over a year old when this all took place. My youngest is almost 10 months old and could never imagine letting him go. Thank the Lord above I am in a situation and life circumstance where that is not necessary. However, if I ever were to be in that situation I would think about what my bio-father did for me and be brave by using my love for him to provide the motivation to move forward. I think when it all comes down to it if what we were doing was for the benefit of our children we would do anything. It takes a great amount of love to do the "right" thing, it takes a lot a brave and courageous person to follow through with it.
I hope that if anyone reading this blog has any pre-conceived thoughts or perspectives on adoption that you take some time to reconsider any negative implications after reading this.
Or feel free to e-mail me. I would love to share my wonderful experience.
Have a great Wednesday everyone!!
I ended up landing on MTV because of this show they have on Tuesday nights. 16 and Pregnant documents young teenage girls becoming single parents and all that entails with this complicated situation. Last night the 2 girls on the show were both dealing with some usually poor quality boys and some very dysfunctional parental relationships.
I won't go into great detail and for some reading this you can go ahead and place "judgmental" title on me. I do not care because these situations were so hard to watch.
The first show at 9pm was about a girl who got pregnant and the guy who she was in a relationship with was an alcoholic who lived 4 hrs away from her as well as being a few years older than her. He was unemployed and treated her inconsistently confusing her to know "who" this guy really was. Was he a "good" guy hiding behind his bad behavior or was he just a bad guy who had really bad behavior. After this baby was born he waited almost a month before calling her. Not visiting her just called her. She called him actually and he shared with her that he had not called her because he was in jail for a DUI. He didn't have a car he was driving his Dad's car on a suspended license. After he dumped her over the phone telling her that ,"his feelings for her had dropped" she went on a "its about me" venture. Going out almost all the time every night of the week leaving her baby in daycare dropped off by her Mother for 8 hrs a day and at night watched by her Mother. While the mother and daughter's volatile relationship was very evident through the show it obviously got worse once the baby arrived. As I watched this show all I could think about was this beautiful baby boy who was being "neglected" by his mother. All a baby wants is to be close to their parents. To be held, cuddled, loved and cared for in each and every way possible. Instead, it was being passed around all day only to be seeing his actual parent a few minutes of each day. Being a Mom of 2 boys I could never imagine. I am not "better" than this girl, but I am only to say how horrible for this baby boy to be treated this way. He did not ask to be put into this world but only when in this world wanted to be loved and loved well. As this baby gets older I am sure he will learn about how he came into this world and will probably feel a lot of loss knowing how he was treated by his mother and father through all this life chaos. I understand that when a teenage girl gets pregnant that they don't understand until after the baby comes that their life is forever changed. Its hard for them to make the decision to give the baby up for adoption because "they" want to raise the baby. But they also complain about "having to give up being young". Yes, that is true. When you become a Mom you "give up you" and "give to your babies". Even animals far below our intelligent level will first "feed" their young before feeding themselves. It is an instinctual behavior to put your baby before yourself. For a young mother who hasn't lived their life and go through the growing up process it is understandable the failure to accept this. We live in a world who say, "you can have it all." And to an extent that is true. "You" can have it all but this leaves some people in your life having to give up things they need.
Keep in mind this is "my" blog and "my" opinion.
I realize many will disagree with this and for that I do apologize. However, the true benefit of free speech is getting to use it as often as we want too. And through this blog post I am truly accessing this freedom with great liberality.
I just hope that more teenage girls who have unplanned pregnancies will consider adoption. Its not an option is a beautiful gift to your child and those prospective parents. I myself am adopted and if I got a chance ever to meet my biological Father who last I knew was still alive (my bio-mother passed away) I would go up to him and hug him. Look him in his eyes with many tears falling down out of my eyes and say, "thank you". "Thank you for making the best decision of my life because you gave me a beautiful and blessed life." I realize that it took a great unselfish act to give me the most wonderful future. If it had not been for this decision that sparked a catalystic change in my life forever. It was probably painful for him as I was over a year old when this all took place. My youngest is almost 10 months old and could never imagine letting him go. Thank the Lord above I am in a situation and life circumstance where that is not necessary. However, if I ever were to be in that situation I would think about what my bio-father did for me and be brave by using my love for him to provide the motivation to move forward. I think when it all comes down to it if what we were doing was for the benefit of our children we would do anything. It takes a great amount of love to do the "right" thing, it takes a lot a brave and courageous person to follow through with it.
I hope that if anyone reading this blog has any pre-conceived thoughts or perspectives on adoption that you take some time to reconsider any negative implications after reading this.
Or feel free to e-mail me. I would love to share my wonderful experience.
Have a great Wednesday everyone!!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
2/23/10 - A little excerpt of a Air Force wife's day & life..
We moved here because Sean was given orders to work at Nellis Air Force Base here in Las Vegas. What some of you may not know about Nellis is that it is known as the Fighter Pilot Air Force Base. Daily it is an "air show" here around the base. My son Clayton is going to miss living here just for the fact because everytime he sees a plan in the sky he says, "Mommy, its Daddy!" He already at age 2 1//2 associates planes and his Father.
With that explained it is important to point out that many combat exercises are run here at Nellis. There are many names for these exercises but the one that Sean works with is called Red Flag. Many people both national and international come here to be taught and participate in these combat exercises. It is not an unusual thing to see international soldiers in uniform around the base both during and inbetween these exercises. It was unusual for me to see it because in Omaha its not often you see people from Italy, Sweden, South Korea, Australia, etc. These exercises run 2 weeks long and it is a very long and grueling two weeks for those participating in it. My husband is participating in this one and so he works usually at the minimum 12 hours a day during these two weeks. I can't even really complain right now about not seeing him or having him around to help with the kids because today in fact he is working more than an 18 hour day. I feel so badly for him and all those who are working these hours because just the sleep depervation alone is stressful. I am hoping that these next two weeks go by quickly so that he can get on a normal schedule again.
I never thought that I would marry anyone in the military let alone someone who has a job so complicated as my husband does. He was just telling me he was working on a over 9 million dollar contract this last week and now today was given a "new" contract to work on amidst working on this Red Flag exercise. I realize that there are men and women overseas in some very dangerous and "live" combat situations/environments that have it a lot worse than anyone living in the U.S. working long hours and having to carry heavy burdens. I'm not down playing that in the least. I think of these people everyday and try to remember them as often as I can when I pray. We know many people overseas in the middle east and other places of danger. We know that they are away from their loved ones and that are in harms way being where they are. I say all this to prompt us as Americans to do what we can to support our troops. My job as a wife is to be as supportive of my husband as I can. I must humbly and shamefully say I do not do a good enough job of this. I admit to this only to say that it is something that I am determined to improve upon quickly. I have a chance and opportunity to directly affect someone's life who is contributing to help ensure my son's freedom and liberty as well as my own. I do not take my freedom for granted and am truly grateful for being an American with such privileges and blessings.
If I can just encourage you to write a letter to a soldier overseas who may be encouraged by receiving mail. Even from a stranger?? Promoting morale is something each of us can do by sending a care package. If you would like to participate in an active supporting the troops programs go to your local church and ask how you can get involved. I know from being in Omaha, Nebraska that Christ Community had an active Support the Troops program. They had the deployed soldiers names for prayer lists. Lists of items that are good to send overseas troops in care packages etc were available among other ideas for good ways to support and encourage a deployed soldier.
I know of a woman who is deployed right now in Iraq and has a little 1 1/2 year old girl and husband that she left behind. Her deployment is 6 months long which for some is short and for others long. Either way, she is away from her family and is working very hard to execute her job duties both for her squadron as well for her country. I am truly thankful for her service as well as all who are currently serving in our military. My husband has pointed out to me many times how our country is one of the last who have a 100% volunteer military. We are honored by these people and I will forever be in their debt.
If you know anyone who is serving take a moment to write them an email, facebook them, or write a little note to say thank you for what they are doing. Whether or not you realize it, it is what they are doing that directly affects us all tomorrow.
Just a little excerpt from a Air Force wife's life.....
I hope the rest of you have a great Tuesday!
With that explained it is important to point out that many combat exercises are run here at Nellis. There are many names for these exercises but the one that Sean works with is called Red Flag. Many people both national and international come here to be taught and participate in these combat exercises. It is not an unusual thing to see international soldiers in uniform around the base both during and inbetween these exercises. It was unusual for me to see it because in Omaha its not often you see people from Italy, Sweden, South Korea, Australia, etc. These exercises run 2 weeks long and it is a very long and grueling two weeks for those participating in it. My husband is participating in this one and so he works usually at the minimum 12 hours a day during these two weeks. I can't even really complain right now about not seeing him or having him around to help with the kids because today in fact he is working more than an 18 hour day. I feel so badly for him and all those who are working these hours because just the sleep depervation alone is stressful. I am hoping that these next two weeks go by quickly so that he can get on a normal schedule again.
I never thought that I would marry anyone in the military let alone someone who has a job so complicated as my husband does. He was just telling me he was working on a over 9 million dollar contract this last week and now today was given a "new" contract to work on amidst working on this Red Flag exercise. I realize that there are men and women overseas in some very dangerous and "live" combat situations/environments that have it a lot worse than anyone living in the U.S. working long hours and having to carry heavy burdens. I'm not down playing that in the least. I think of these people everyday and try to remember them as often as I can when I pray. We know many people overseas in the middle east and other places of danger. We know that they are away from their loved ones and that are in harms way being where they are. I say all this to prompt us as Americans to do what we can to support our troops. My job as a wife is to be as supportive of my husband as I can. I must humbly and shamefully say I do not do a good enough job of this. I admit to this only to say that it is something that I am determined to improve upon quickly. I have a chance and opportunity to directly affect someone's life who is contributing to help ensure my son's freedom and liberty as well as my own. I do not take my freedom for granted and am truly grateful for being an American with such privileges and blessings.
If I can just encourage you to write a letter to a soldier overseas who may be encouraged by receiving mail. Even from a stranger?? Promoting morale is something each of us can do by sending a care package. If you would like to participate in an active supporting the troops programs go to your local church and ask how you can get involved. I know from being in Omaha, Nebraska that Christ Community had an active Support the Troops program. They had the deployed soldiers names for prayer lists. Lists of items that are good to send overseas troops in care packages etc were available among other ideas for good ways to support and encourage a deployed soldier.
I know of a woman who is deployed right now in Iraq and has a little 1 1/2 year old girl and husband that she left behind. Her deployment is 6 months long which for some is short and for others long. Either way, she is away from her family and is working very hard to execute her job duties both for her squadron as well for her country. I am truly thankful for her service as well as all who are currently serving in our military. My husband has pointed out to me many times how our country is one of the last who have a 100% volunteer military. We are honored by these people and I will forever be in their debt.
If you know anyone who is serving take a moment to write them an email, facebook them, or write a little note to say thank you for what they are doing. Whether or not you realize it, it is what they are doing that directly affects us all tomorrow.
Just a little excerpt from a Air Force wife's life.....
I hope the rest of you have a great Tuesday!
Monday, February 22, 2010
2/22/10 - Tried to be brave....
This last weekend I had planned on going on a "date night" with my husband. Of course anytime you get out of your normal "routine" or "comfort zone" that's when things usually unwind. And yes, that was the case this weekend as well.
I had planned on taking my boys to a place called Kidsquest in the Red Rock Casino here in Las Vegas. They are a daycare type of environment that you can pay hourly to have your kids cared for while you do adult things. I had asked Sean to pick up on Friday the boys' shot records that are required when you bring your kids to this facility. So, the weekend finally arrived and I had noticed a few days prior that Calvin (my youngest - 9 mths) had contracted somewhat of a runny nose and cough. I was worried that he would get worse if we put him in a public environment that he could pick up other germs. Also, the stress of being away from his security blanket "Mommy". So, I was already nervous about that aspect of dropping him off at the Kidsquest.
When Saturday finally arrived I had planned on running some errands during the boys' nap time that are just too difficult and complicated to do with the whole family. These took me a little longer than I wanted because for some reason I was doing everything wrong. Forgetting to use coupons, not remembering receipts, or just taking a wrong turn when I knew the right way to go. I should of known at this point it was not going to be a easy or drama-free evening.
As I arrived home I helped Sean get the boys ready and we were off to what I was hoping was going to be a nice relaxing evening of romance and love. Instead, it was drama-filled and stressing on all levels.
Its hard enough to have to go to the casinos to watch movies and other forms of entertainment that seems the best or easiest due to the fact that the casino pays for these venues. But being surrounded by all the gambling, smoking, drinking and excess lifestyles is very overwhelming for me. I do not appreciate it nor do I ever want to participate in these activities. Having to bring your young children through such an environment is to me even worse. I feel as if I am putting them in harms way inhaling all that smoke and exposing them to all that Vegas is known for. I am thankful on some levels that they are young enough where hopefully they will not remember much when we leave. However, the guilt remains and the burden of this experience of living here remains.
Once we arrived to the casino we found a parking spot and ventured in. We had planned deciding between two different restaurants but wanted to get there to pick in person. Once there we realized one of the two options was a 4 star restaurant (not ideal for bringing two small children into) and the other was closed due to the recession affects. The other options for us were the buffet or the food court. Because we had kids we surrendered to the food court option and proceeded. Once there we realized that there were no tables open for us to sit and eat. Sean had to scour the place going up and down with two kids looking for someone ready to leave. Poor guy. I stood in line behind 5 people waiting to order us all some food as we were all starving at this point. Clayton was unfortunately struggling with his behavior due to the fact he was tired and hungry. Sean and I's stress level was so high at this point we were failing at being as patient as we could of been. There was a point where we both almost started to cry. Ok, maybe Sean just wanted to yell and I was the only one who wanted to cry. Sean looked at me dead in the face and said, "What do you want to do?" I said, "I just wanna go home!" He being my strong brick wall said, "no, let's eat." So, we stayed and pushed through. Thankfully, we ate our supper in somewhat peace. I didn't have to worry about dropping Calvin off because I forgot his shot records. But we did drop off Clayton because they already had him in the system.
We ended up seeing Valentine's Day the movie and it was a good break from a serious and frustrating supper. Although, Calvin didn't want to sit still as much as he had when the last time we brought him to a movie. So Sean and I decided that this would be his last one. :(
I am so thankful in the end though that we stayed for a movie. It was just the break I needed from "chaos".
I tried to be brave and attempt to push myself to do something out of my comfort zone. With all this said, I can certainly say that I have pushed myself in doing something out of my comfort zone in living here in one of the most "liberal" cities in the nation.
Where I come from gambling does exist. Across the river from us. If you want to go there you do. If you don't, you don't. Here its a little harder to avoid.
The good news and the answer to prayer that I've needed is a babysitter. I found a girl at my local gym who really interacted well with my boys. I had noticed that she was patient, kind and more importantly a person of compassion. She gets a long well with all the kids and tries to get to know all of the kids. Some of those working there are a lot more detached. More cold and rigid. Even how they talk to the kids I cringe thinking about how they may be interacting with my sons. The better part of bringing my kids there is that there is a lot of people watching the kids and the good and bad people there balance each other out.
She always is so helpful in holding Calvin while I get Clayton's stuff together and supportive when I have to run after him while trying to juggle the baby. I took the time to ask her if she did private baby sitting. She advised me that she did but that with her college schedule its hard to do too much outside of studying, school and work. Being understanding of her busy life I just asked her to look at the month of March and let me know if she had any openings on the weekend. I was grateful to hear that she had both the first and second Saturday of March open. So, Sean and I will be spoiled and get to go out two weekends in a row. :)
I am counting down the days and when we leave the house those Saturdays I'm going to take a deep breath and look up to the sky and thank God for any amount of private time I get to spend with my husband. Its going to be a great time. I have no idea what were going to do and it doesn't matter. Its going to be "kid-free" and some good one on one time for us to get to reinvest into each other again. Something we havent' done in a long time!!!!
I know its sounds like I'm complaining a lot about living here. And for this I do apologize. Its just so difficult to live so far away from my family and friends. To be away from everything I ever knew since I was a year old to when I was 30 years old. Big culture shock out here for me. Even my other friends who have just moved here two years ago as well have said the same thing. I know as time goes on its going to get easier being away from home. But, I don't think I'll ever enjoy living here. I love the home we bought here and I'll always appreciate the blessing it is to our family. However, I just hope that the next place Sean needs to go that they'll be 4 seasons, great family activites to enjoy, and hopefully more of a "midwest" experience for our kids.
I hope that you all have a great Monday night!
I had planned on taking my boys to a place called Kidsquest in the Red Rock Casino here in Las Vegas. They are a daycare type of environment that you can pay hourly to have your kids cared for while you do adult things. I had asked Sean to pick up on Friday the boys' shot records that are required when you bring your kids to this facility. So, the weekend finally arrived and I had noticed a few days prior that Calvin (my youngest - 9 mths) had contracted somewhat of a runny nose and cough. I was worried that he would get worse if we put him in a public environment that he could pick up other germs. Also, the stress of being away from his security blanket "Mommy". So, I was already nervous about that aspect of dropping him off at the Kidsquest.
When Saturday finally arrived I had planned on running some errands during the boys' nap time that are just too difficult and complicated to do with the whole family. These took me a little longer than I wanted because for some reason I was doing everything wrong. Forgetting to use coupons, not remembering receipts, or just taking a wrong turn when I knew the right way to go. I should of known at this point it was not going to be a easy or drama-free evening.
As I arrived home I helped Sean get the boys ready and we were off to what I was hoping was going to be a nice relaxing evening of romance and love. Instead, it was drama-filled and stressing on all levels.
Its hard enough to have to go to the casinos to watch movies and other forms of entertainment that seems the best or easiest due to the fact that the casino pays for these venues. But being surrounded by all the gambling, smoking, drinking and excess lifestyles is very overwhelming for me. I do not appreciate it nor do I ever want to participate in these activities. Having to bring your young children through such an environment is to me even worse. I feel as if I am putting them in harms way inhaling all that smoke and exposing them to all that Vegas is known for. I am thankful on some levels that they are young enough where hopefully they will not remember much when we leave. However, the guilt remains and the burden of this experience of living here remains.
Once we arrived to the casino we found a parking spot and ventured in. We had planned deciding between two different restaurants but wanted to get there to pick in person. Once there we realized one of the two options was a 4 star restaurant (not ideal for bringing two small children into) and the other was closed due to the recession affects. The other options for us were the buffet or the food court. Because we had kids we surrendered to the food court option and proceeded. Once there we realized that there were no tables open for us to sit and eat. Sean had to scour the place going up and down with two kids looking for someone ready to leave. Poor guy. I stood in line behind 5 people waiting to order us all some food as we were all starving at this point. Clayton was unfortunately struggling with his behavior due to the fact he was tired and hungry. Sean and I's stress level was so high at this point we were failing at being as patient as we could of been. There was a point where we both almost started to cry. Ok, maybe Sean just wanted to yell and I was the only one who wanted to cry. Sean looked at me dead in the face and said, "What do you want to do?" I said, "I just wanna go home!" He being my strong brick wall said, "no, let's eat." So, we stayed and pushed through. Thankfully, we ate our supper in somewhat peace. I didn't have to worry about dropping Calvin off because I forgot his shot records. But we did drop off Clayton because they already had him in the system.
We ended up seeing Valentine's Day the movie and it was a good break from a serious and frustrating supper. Although, Calvin didn't want to sit still as much as he had when the last time we brought him to a movie. So Sean and I decided that this would be his last one. :(
I am so thankful in the end though that we stayed for a movie. It was just the break I needed from "chaos".
I tried to be brave and attempt to push myself to do something out of my comfort zone. With all this said, I can certainly say that I have pushed myself in doing something out of my comfort zone in living here in one of the most "liberal" cities in the nation.
Where I come from gambling does exist. Across the river from us. If you want to go there you do. If you don't, you don't. Here its a little harder to avoid.
The good news and the answer to prayer that I've needed is a babysitter. I found a girl at my local gym who really interacted well with my boys. I had noticed that she was patient, kind and more importantly a person of compassion. She gets a long well with all the kids and tries to get to know all of the kids. Some of those working there are a lot more detached. More cold and rigid. Even how they talk to the kids I cringe thinking about how they may be interacting with my sons. The better part of bringing my kids there is that there is a lot of people watching the kids and the good and bad people there balance each other out.
She always is so helpful in holding Calvin while I get Clayton's stuff together and supportive when I have to run after him while trying to juggle the baby. I took the time to ask her if she did private baby sitting. She advised me that she did but that with her college schedule its hard to do too much outside of studying, school and work. Being understanding of her busy life I just asked her to look at the month of March and let me know if she had any openings on the weekend. I was grateful to hear that she had both the first and second Saturday of March open. So, Sean and I will be spoiled and get to go out two weekends in a row. :)
I am counting down the days and when we leave the house those Saturdays I'm going to take a deep breath and look up to the sky and thank God for any amount of private time I get to spend with my husband. Its going to be a great time. I have no idea what were going to do and it doesn't matter. Its going to be "kid-free" and some good one on one time for us to get to reinvest into each other again. Something we havent' done in a long time!!!!
I know its sounds like I'm complaining a lot about living here. And for this I do apologize. Its just so difficult to live so far away from my family and friends. To be away from everything I ever knew since I was a year old to when I was 30 years old. Big culture shock out here for me. Even my other friends who have just moved here two years ago as well have said the same thing. I know as time goes on its going to get easier being away from home. But, I don't think I'll ever enjoy living here. I love the home we bought here and I'll always appreciate the blessing it is to our family. However, I just hope that the next place Sean needs to go that they'll be 4 seasons, great family activites to enjoy, and hopefully more of a "midwest" experience for our kids.
I hope that you all have a great Monday night!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Being real - 2/19/10
So, I'm not anywhere near a perfect person. In fact, I'm probably one of the most flawed people I know next to "Josephine March" - (See - Little Women).
Yesterday, I had a very bad day. One of those, "terrible, no good, horrible bad days". I just started off in a funk and it followed me around all day. I probably could of taken myself out of it. But, instead I let it influence my entire day. I knew very little joy yesterday. Thanks to my kids I was able to peel a few smiles out but other than that I was a pretty sour person after all my drama. (See previous blog post.)
I wasn't the nicest wife to my husband yesterday or this morning. I just really was a bad apple. For some reason sometimes my sinful pride just gets in the way of what "I" know to be right and true for me to be. Thankfully, my husband was made for me by God and has a very forgiving nature and has forgiven me. However, I need to continue to ask for his forgiveness and make up for letting him down these past 24 hours. I called him this morning to tell him that I love him and although I didn't exactly give the perfect apology (still holding on to some dumb pride - awful I know but true) but told me that I wanted to spend some time with him this weekend.
I have not found a good baby sitter here in Vegas. So, for us to have a good date night is very seldom and far and few inbetween. Most couples with kids need to find a date night at least once a month and if they can should do it once a week. The more we lose out on spending time together alone the more I see us breaking down in our communication. Our relationship just like any relationship needs work and time to invest in one another. If you don't give it that then it just won't be as strong as it should be.
Tomorrow, I am going to be brave and allow people that I don't know to watch my two boys. Some of the local casinos here in Vegas have a company called Kidquest inside the building that has a daycare type of environment/staff that charges hourly for people to drop off their kids for a few hours. I have allowed Clayton to go here a few times and he has really enjoyed it each time. Even though he tells me he has fun when he goes it is still breaks my heart to drop him off there. I have never allowed them to watch my baby feeling that he is too young. But, I know he would be ok if I do. They require certain things of the kids before they allow them to be cared for in this facility which makes me feel better. Each person I have met there has made me feel very comfortable with this experience. I just can't help though as a s.a.h.m. feeling guilty, heavy hearted and sad leaving my boys in the hands of strangers. I know that most Moms would feel this way whether they work or don't outside of the home. However, at this point in my life I just don't have a lot of options not having any family here or have found a good reliable, flexible schedule, trustworthy person to help me. Breaks my heart but is a true reality of being a military wife being moved somewhere away from family.
If you know me well, are a good friend, or family member just pray that all goes well for the few hours that my boys will be there.
I hope that this time together for Sean and I is helpful and encouraging for both of us to be able to give each other our full and complete attention and invest in the love we have for each other so that we can truly enjoy each other's company.
If you haven't had a date night with the love of your life recently, why not take a chance and have one tomorrow? I know I am!
Blessings to you all for a great weekend!
Yesterday, I had a very bad day. One of those, "terrible, no good, horrible bad days". I just started off in a funk and it followed me around all day. I probably could of taken myself out of it. But, instead I let it influence my entire day. I knew very little joy yesterday. Thanks to my kids I was able to peel a few smiles out but other than that I was a pretty sour person after all my drama. (See previous blog post.)
I wasn't the nicest wife to my husband yesterday or this morning. I just really was a bad apple. For some reason sometimes my sinful pride just gets in the way of what "I" know to be right and true for me to be. Thankfully, my husband was made for me by God and has a very forgiving nature and has forgiven me. However, I need to continue to ask for his forgiveness and make up for letting him down these past 24 hours. I called him this morning to tell him that I love him and although I didn't exactly give the perfect apology (still holding on to some dumb pride - awful I know but true) but told me that I wanted to spend some time with him this weekend.
I have not found a good baby sitter here in Vegas. So, for us to have a good date night is very seldom and far and few inbetween. Most couples with kids need to find a date night at least once a month and if they can should do it once a week. The more we lose out on spending time together alone the more I see us breaking down in our communication. Our relationship just like any relationship needs work and time to invest in one another. If you don't give it that then it just won't be as strong as it should be.
Tomorrow, I am going to be brave and allow people that I don't know to watch my two boys. Some of the local casinos here in Vegas have a company called Kidquest inside the building that has a daycare type of environment/staff that charges hourly for people to drop off their kids for a few hours. I have allowed Clayton to go here a few times and he has really enjoyed it each time. Even though he tells me he has fun when he goes it is still breaks my heart to drop him off there. I have never allowed them to watch my baby feeling that he is too young. But, I know he would be ok if I do. They require certain things of the kids before they allow them to be cared for in this facility which makes me feel better. Each person I have met there has made me feel very comfortable with this experience. I just can't help though as a s.a.h.m. feeling guilty, heavy hearted and sad leaving my boys in the hands of strangers. I know that most Moms would feel this way whether they work or don't outside of the home. However, at this point in my life I just don't have a lot of options not having any family here or have found a good reliable, flexible schedule, trustworthy person to help me. Breaks my heart but is a true reality of being a military wife being moved somewhere away from family.
If you know me well, are a good friend, or family member just pray that all goes well for the few hours that my boys will be there.
I hope that this time together for Sean and I is helpful and encouraging for both of us to be able to give each other our full and complete attention and invest in the love we have for each other so that we can truly enjoy each other's company.
If you haven't had a date night with the love of your life recently, why not take a chance and have one tomorrow? I know I am!
Blessings to you all for a great weekend!
2/18/10 - Poopy Day!
**Warning - there are a lot of TMI details and length explanations that you may not feel like reading. This is your opportunity to close this window and bypass reading about my drama-filled day.** (If you do decide to read on, your pity on me is greatly appreciated!)
This morning I should of known was going to be helter-skelter. Waking up I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to make it the my gym for my normal workout. My boys decided to sleep in and I hate rushing. But, after what followed I "needed" to get out of the house and a break for my own sanity.
I went to go greet Clayton after he had woke up. He surprised me by taking bits and pieces of his "overnight - just in case" diaper and wiping it all over his walls, bed frame, sheets, blankets and pillows. It was not only disgusting but it was very difficult to clean up because those pieces are like "jello" when wet. So, I cleaned up what I could and then moved on to go get my baby. After nursing my youngest son I changed his diaper and started to pile up my "laundry" pile from Clayton's nasty mess. As I was finishing with that, I caughter a wiff of something not so fresh. Seeing my young baby's face I knew it was him. So, I then proceeded to clean up his mess. It was fine for the first few seconds and then he started "grabbing" at his poopie diaper. This is a new development for Calvin (his name). Thankfully, I was able to push his hand away and save his little fingers from "ew-gross'ness"!
Taking them downstairs for breakfast I thought would be easy. But I was proved wrong as my son decided to open up a biscuit from the night before and crumb it all over the kitchen floor. When this was cleaned up I got another wiff of something not so fresh again!! Yup, it was my baby again. And no, he wasn't sick it was another full and normal diaper. So, once the diaper was changed for the third time this morning I knew it was now or never. I was to go to the gym and have a little "down time". My plan after the workout was to take the boys to a outdoor play ground and eat a subway sandwhich lunch with my husband. I had made a Dr. appointment at the base hospital per a advisement from our insurance company that they would cover my chiropractic treatments if my primary care provider (PC) would give me a referral. The only appointment I could get within the month of February was this afternoon at 1:00. Which is both my boys' naptime. So, I knew it was going to be a little tricky but I had no idea how truly drama-filled it was going to be.
I picked up the subway sandwhiches after waiting in line what felt like forever. Note to self, subway during the week is a marathon wait. I guess everyone & their dog are trying to be "jared". As I got into the truck I noticed something again, "not so fresh". Unfortunately, I recognized this as my 2 yr old son's "yuckyness" so, I turned around and told him not to push. I asked him to wait until we could get to the potty. So, I turned into the only place within seconds of where we were to go. They, did not have a public restroom. So, this meant "porta-potty" and let me tell you. My son Clayton took one look into this potty and said, "no, Home Mommy, I wanna go home". Yeah, my son, I want to go home too. So, he pooped in his pants and yes, it was everywhere. I had to take his underwear off, his pants, and it was nasty. I had to hold my 9 month old 20-some pound baby while trying to put my 2 yr old son back on a porta-potty toilet seat while trying to toilet paper it so it wasn't so gross. I was sweating my butt off and my heart rate was probably through the roof. It was awful, awful, awful! Sean showed up in time enough to help me by holding the baby while I cleaned up my son. If you know me at all you know I hate "poop". I hate everything about it. I know we "need" it to be healthy, but its very hard for me to change diapers let alone wipe it off my son whom unfortunately this day did not have a dry bowel movement. I am surprised I didn't start dry heaving because I truly felt like I was going to pass out. I felt bad for my son because he was embarassed and felt really bad about doing what he did. So I was doing my best to keep consoling and supportive all the while I was freaking out in my head.
As we finally calmed down and went to the playground to eat. I felt like I was carrying about 2 tons of stress weight on my shoulders. I had about 10 minutes to eat and then off I was to my Dr appointment. I thought in my mind how frustrated I was at myself. If I didn't have this appointment my son would of been at home and he would of been able to go on his "home potty". My baby wouldn't of been tired and cranky because he would of been able to sleep restfully and peacefully in his crib. I just kept telling myeslf it was worth it if it was going to save thousands of dollars. I repeated this over and over in my mind as the burden of the stress weighed heavy on my heart.
After an hour and a half of being questioned about everything in my medical history (which is very minor) and updating that Dr. on what my x-rays looked like and what the chiropractor had diagnosed me with. I was told to visit the hospital tri-care office (military insurance) to ask them how the Dr. should write up the referral in the system. I then rushed down to the office to be told that tri-care does not cover chiropractic care for military dependants. Only in some circumstances do they cover for active-duty military.
As I walked out of the hospital my face probably was bright red and I think I had smoke coming out of my ears. I was so fired up I could of exploded. All that I had went through. All that my children had went through. All that my husband had sacrificed to meet me and help me with the kids to take away from his busy work day to support me was for nothing! I was infuriated because the only reason I went was because they had told me they would cover it if I got a referral from my PC. I didn't make this stuff up. I was going by the book. Someone dropped the ball and unfortunately for me it landed on my foot! I was upset and to my husband's detriment I took some of this anger out on him. I am sincerely apologetic to him and to my children who were affected by this entire day's dramatic unfoldings.
I really feel so discouraged the more I realize how terrible my tri-care insurance is. It is considered on the same plateau as "medicaid" (older retired people federally regulated insurance) and for those on welfare. Isn't it a little odd that my husband who is working on a daily basis to contribue to protecting our country's freedom we so vitally need is treated as if he doesn't have a job or is too old/injured to have one? Not only is this completely unfair but its truly in my opinion offensive. I started to think of those who are active-duty who are injured in battle how they are treated?? There are so many details of this insurance I could explain to you that you probably don't need or want to know. But, I know that our servicemen deserve more and better.
This isn't a political statement or me trying to lobby any of your political interests but rather just a testimony of someone living with federally regulated insurance. It's not good and it's not ideal. Its pretty sad when I'm tempted to get a job and put my kids in daycare just so they have proper medical treatments (if need) as well as myself. Makes my husband feel bad too because this is the "insurance" that he is providing for our family and proud to be able to do so but sincerely let down knowing how "sub-standard" it truly is.
Just to give you a small window of information into this world let me explain to you what they were asking me to do when I became pregnant with Calvin....... (This should make your jaw drop if you are pregnant, will be pregnant or just interested in what I'm talking about..)
When I found out I was pregnant for my insurance company (tri-care) to cover the cost of pre-natal care require a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. No problem. Went in and the test results came back within a few hours confirming the pregnancy. At this point I was just a little over 7 weeks along. I then was informed that I needed to schedule an appointment with the women's clinic to come in for my "orientation" between 12-14 weeks of my pregnancy. They continued to tell me that no small children are allowed to be present during this meeting. The meeting was available to be scheduled two different times a week between 2-4. Once I understood what was expected of me at the meeting and what times/dates it was available to be scheduled they told me that they would put me in a room with 6-8 other women while we all filled out paperwork and were asked questions, take urine samples etc. I was like what??? Like a cattle call?? This would also not be my first true Dr appointment. That would be scheduled after the orientation. With my first son I was in Omaha, Nebraska. The military base hospital does not have an OB or Prenatal division so all that is taken care of "off-base". So I had a civilian Dr and pregnancy experience from beginning to end. So this was all new to me. Once the nurse explained to me the orientation process, first real Dr. appointment, went on to tell me that one of six to eight Dr.'s that would be on-call the night I was to deliver my baby. Not to mention, that during my pre-natal visits they could not guarantee me to see the same Dr. for most or all my visits. If you have either only military baby experiences, or civilian experinces will depend on your response to this news.
My personal response is "I don't think so." so I opted out of what they consider tri-care prime which means they pay for everything as long as its on base. This is great for those who can not afford off-base care. When it all came down to it, I paid $100 to have my baby off base. I paid for one extra ultrasound co-pay - $50 and $50 for my hospital stay after my baby was born. If I get pregnant again while we are stationed here I will do the exact same thing and be excited to! I would stay tri-care standard the whole time but if I were to get an extreme medical case it wouldn't be so affordable.
So anyway, this is my two cents on my life in the world of 2 boys, a husband and military insurance.
Sorry for the TMI.
Hope the rest of you are enjoying a great week with as little "poop in the unnawears" and good insurance benefits as possible!
God Bless!
This morning I should of known was going to be helter-skelter. Waking up I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to make it the my gym for my normal workout. My boys decided to sleep in and I hate rushing. But, after what followed I "needed" to get out of the house and a break for my own sanity.
I went to go greet Clayton after he had woke up. He surprised me by taking bits and pieces of his "overnight - just in case" diaper and wiping it all over his walls, bed frame, sheets, blankets and pillows. It was not only disgusting but it was very difficult to clean up because those pieces are like "jello" when wet. So, I cleaned up what I could and then moved on to go get my baby. After nursing my youngest son I changed his diaper and started to pile up my "laundry" pile from Clayton's nasty mess. As I was finishing with that, I caughter a wiff of something not so fresh. Seeing my young baby's face I knew it was him. So, I then proceeded to clean up his mess. It was fine for the first few seconds and then he started "grabbing" at his poopie diaper. This is a new development for Calvin (his name). Thankfully, I was able to push his hand away and save his little fingers from "ew-gross'ness"!
Taking them downstairs for breakfast I thought would be easy. But I was proved wrong as my son decided to open up a biscuit from the night before and crumb it all over the kitchen floor. When this was cleaned up I got another wiff of something not so fresh again!! Yup, it was my baby again. And no, he wasn't sick it was another full and normal diaper. So, once the diaper was changed for the third time this morning I knew it was now or never. I was to go to the gym and have a little "down time". My plan after the workout was to take the boys to a outdoor play ground and eat a subway sandwhich lunch with my husband. I had made a Dr. appointment at the base hospital per a advisement from our insurance company that they would cover my chiropractic treatments if my primary care provider (PC) would give me a referral. The only appointment I could get within the month of February was this afternoon at 1:00. Which is both my boys' naptime. So, I knew it was going to be a little tricky but I had no idea how truly drama-filled it was going to be.
I picked up the subway sandwhiches after waiting in line what felt like forever. Note to self, subway during the week is a marathon wait. I guess everyone & their dog are trying to be "jared". As I got into the truck I noticed something again, "not so fresh". Unfortunately, I recognized this as my 2 yr old son's "yuckyness" so, I turned around and told him not to push. I asked him to wait until we could get to the potty. So, I turned into the only place within seconds of where we were to go. They, did not have a public restroom. So, this meant "porta-potty" and let me tell you. My son Clayton took one look into this potty and said, "no, Home Mommy, I wanna go home". Yeah, my son, I want to go home too. So, he pooped in his pants and yes, it was everywhere. I had to take his underwear off, his pants, and it was nasty. I had to hold my 9 month old 20-some pound baby while trying to put my 2 yr old son back on a porta-potty toilet seat while trying to toilet paper it so it wasn't so gross. I was sweating my butt off and my heart rate was probably through the roof. It was awful, awful, awful! Sean showed up in time enough to help me by holding the baby while I cleaned up my son. If you know me at all you know I hate "poop". I hate everything about it. I know we "need" it to be healthy, but its very hard for me to change diapers let alone wipe it off my son whom unfortunately this day did not have a dry bowel movement. I am surprised I didn't start dry heaving because I truly felt like I was going to pass out. I felt bad for my son because he was embarassed and felt really bad about doing what he did. So I was doing my best to keep consoling and supportive all the while I was freaking out in my head.
As we finally calmed down and went to the playground to eat. I felt like I was carrying about 2 tons of stress weight on my shoulders. I had about 10 minutes to eat and then off I was to my Dr appointment. I thought in my mind how frustrated I was at myself. If I didn't have this appointment my son would of been at home and he would of been able to go on his "home potty". My baby wouldn't of been tired and cranky because he would of been able to sleep restfully and peacefully in his crib. I just kept telling myeslf it was worth it if it was going to save thousands of dollars. I repeated this over and over in my mind as the burden of the stress weighed heavy on my heart.
After an hour and a half of being questioned about everything in my medical history (which is very minor) and updating that Dr. on what my x-rays looked like and what the chiropractor had diagnosed me with. I was told to visit the hospital tri-care office (military insurance) to ask them how the Dr. should write up the referral in the system. I then rushed down to the office to be told that tri-care does not cover chiropractic care for military dependants. Only in some circumstances do they cover for active-duty military.
As I walked out of the hospital my face probably was bright red and I think I had smoke coming out of my ears. I was so fired up I could of exploded. All that I had went through. All that my children had went through. All that my husband had sacrificed to meet me and help me with the kids to take away from his busy work day to support me was for nothing! I was infuriated because the only reason I went was because they had told me they would cover it if I got a referral from my PC. I didn't make this stuff up. I was going by the book. Someone dropped the ball and unfortunately for me it landed on my foot! I was upset and to my husband's detriment I took some of this anger out on him. I am sincerely apologetic to him and to my children who were affected by this entire day's dramatic unfoldings.
I really feel so discouraged the more I realize how terrible my tri-care insurance is. It is considered on the same plateau as "medicaid" (older retired people federally regulated insurance) and for those on welfare. Isn't it a little odd that my husband who is working on a daily basis to contribue to protecting our country's freedom we so vitally need is treated as if he doesn't have a job or is too old/injured to have one? Not only is this completely unfair but its truly in my opinion offensive. I started to think of those who are active-duty who are injured in battle how they are treated?? There are so many details of this insurance I could explain to you that you probably don't need or want to know. But, I know that our servicemen deserve more and better.
This isn't a political statement or me trying to lobby any of your political interests but rather just a testimony of someone living with federally regulated insurance. It's not good and it's not ideal. Its pretty sad when I'm tempted to get a job and put my kids in daycare just so they have proper medical treatments (if need) as well as myself. Makes my husband feel bad too because this is the "insurance" that he is providing for our family and proud to be able to do so but sincerely let down knowing how "sub-standard" it truly is.
Just to give you a small window of information into this world let me explain to you what they were asking me to do when I became pregnant with Calvin....... (This should make your jaw drop if you are pregnant, will be pregnant or just interested in what I'm talking about..)
When I found out I was pregnant for my insurance company (tri-care) to cover the cost of pre-natal care require a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. No problem. Went in and the test results came back within a few hours confirming the pregnancy. At this point I was just a little over 7 weeks along. I then was informed that I needed to schedule an appointment with the women's clinic to come in for my "orientation" between 12-14 weeks of my pregnancy. They continued to tell me that no small children are allowed to be present during this meeting. The meeting was available to be scheduled two different times a week between 2-4. Once I understood what was expected of me at the meeting and what times/dates it was available to be scheduled they told me that they would put me in a room with 6-8 other women while we all filled out paperwork and were asked questions, take urine samples etc. I was like what??? Like a cattle call?? This would also not be my first true Dr appointment. That would be scheduled after the orientation. With my first son I was in Omaha, Nebraska. The military base hospital does not have an OB or Prenatal division so all that is taken care of "off-base". So I had a civilian Dr and pregnancy experience from beginning to end. So this was all new to me. Once the nurse explained to me the orientation process, first real Dr. appointment, went on to tell me that one of six to eight Dr.'s that would be on-call the night I was to deliver my baby. Not to mention, that during my pre-natal visits they could not guarantee me to see the same Dr. for most or all my visits. If you have either only military baby experiences, or civilian experinces will depend on your response to this news.
My personal response is "I don't think so." so I opted out of what they consider tri-care prime which means they pay for everything as long as its on base. This is great for those who can not afford off-base care. When it all came down to it, I paid $100 to have my baby off base. I paid for one extra ultrasound co-pay - $50 and $50 for my hospital stay after my baby was born. If I get pregnant again while we are stationed here I will do the exact same thing and be excited to! I would stay tri-care standard the whole time but if I were to get an extreme medical case it wouldn't be so affordable.
So anyway, this is my two cents on my life in the world of 2 boys, a husband and military insurance.
Sorry for the TMI.
Hope the rest of you are enjoying a great week with as little "poop in the unnawears" and good insurance benefits as possible!
God Bless!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
2/17/10 - Not getting their way
Its an everyday struggle to deal with my oldest son's strong will. Always asking for something he either doesn't need or shouldn't have. Being that he is my first child, I never knew these issues would begin so early in his development. The terrible 2's theory started for us at a year and a half. Unfortunately, the early start has not meant an early ending for us when it comes to bad behavior. I realize no child is absolutely perfect. No matter the disposition each child is going to respond negatively to not getting their way. As a parent, I feel it my ultimate duty and responsibility to teach my son life is not about always getting what you want. When you actually realize this principle the uphill battle for life gets a little less steep.
My youngest son just turned 9 months old a few weeks ago. He is also being put through "not getting your way" boot camp. I know it sounds a little "strict" to start so early but I've learned already that its never too early to teach your child something as simple as "you need to take a nap". When I am doing what is best for my children this process comes easy and without stress. Thankfully, I was "broke in" by my oldest to help me with this usually emotional experience.
Just even today Clayton said he wanted to have gumballs in his pocket while he slept. I thought for a minute, "hey, if this means he'll lay down easily and take a nap, maybe its worth it?" Then I started to envision gum all over his sheets, comforter, pillows, toys, carpet, etc. The answer, "no" flowed easily out of my mouth. He of course began to cry and protest but I stood my ground and lovingly gave him a hug and kiss and wished him a pleasant nap. Still "not" in love with the idea of wanting to take a nap without his beloved gum balls he then began to ask for specific toys. I told him "no" again and walked out of the room. The crying began and some occasional screaming but it didn't last long and the nap commenced as scheduled.
My youngest son usually I will nurse him to sleep and lay him down. He most days succombes to this routine very easily and submissively. However, today, it was all about playing, clapping his hands (a new development in the last week) and wanting to play with the remote, my iphone, and anything else he could find within grabbing distance. I thought that maybe I could rock him to sleep but no, there was more and more fidgeting so I decided it was time for the you have to take a nap regiment. So, I laid him down, and put a blanket over him. As I walked out the door I had a screaming child watch me close the door. His face red with anger and eyes full of tears. This should make me melt and turn around and do whatever he wants me to do. However, all morning long he has been rubbing his eyes, and very fussy. A runny nose and small cough has informed me that this child needs as much rest as he is willing to get. The longer I keep him up the harder his little immune system will have to work to fight off any infection or bacteria he is dealing with. So, knowing what is best for this little baby, I walked on and procceeded downstairs where the crying quickly subsided before I even got a chance to pick up my laptop to blog.
There is so much to be learned about being a parent.
However, the "not letting them get their way" part is something I have thankfully embraced as a lesson well learned.
I look forward to the rest of the day and to their lives to continuing this principle hoping that it will prepare them for the rest of their lives and especially for when God has willed them to become a parent themselves.
Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!
My youngest son just turned 9 months old a few weeks ago. He is also being put through "not getting your way" boot camp. I know it sounds a little "strict" to start so early but I've learned already that its never too early to teach your child something as simple as "you need to take a nap". When I am doing what is best for my children this process comes easy and without stress. Thankfully, I was "broke in" by my oldest to help me with this usually emotional experience.
Just even today Clayton said he wanted to have gumballs in his pocket while he slept. I thought for a minute, "hey, if this means he'll lay down easily and take a nap, maybe its worth it?" Then I started to envision gum all over his sheets, comforter, pillows, toys, carpet, etc. The answer, "no" flowed easily out of my mouth. He of course began to cry and protest but I stood my ground and lovingly gave him a hug and kiss and wished him a pleasant nap. Still "not" in love with the idea of wanting to take a nap without his beloved gum balls he then began to ask for specific toys. I told him "no" again and walked out of the room. The crying began and some occasional screaming but it didn't last long and the nap commenced as scheduled.
My youngest son usually I will nurse him to sleep and lay him down. He most days succombes to this routine very easily and submissively. However, today, it was all about playing, clapping his hands (a new development in the last week) and wanting to play with the remote, my iphone, and anything else he could find within grabbing distance. I thought that maybe I could rock him to sleep but no, there was more and more fidgeting so I decided it was time for the you have to take a nap regiment. So, I laid him down, and put a blanket over him. As I walked out the door I had a screaming child watch me close the door. His face red with anger and eyes full of tears. This should make me melt and turn around and do whatever he wants me to do. However, all morning long he has been rubbing his eyes, and very fussy. A runny nose and small cough has informed me that this child needs as much rest as he is willing to get. The longer I keep him up the harder his little immune system will have to work to fight off any infection or bacteria he is dealing with. So, knowing what is best for this little baby, I walked on and procceeded downstairs where the crying quickly subsided before I even got a chance to pick up my laptop to blog.
There is so much to be learned about being a parent.
However, the "not letting them get their way" part is something I have thankfully embraced as a lesson well learned.
I look forward to the rest of the day and to their lives to continuing this principle hoping that it will prepare them for the rest of their lives and especially for when God has willed them to become a parent themselves.
Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
2/16/10 - Keeping it in perspective
I made it to my women's Bible study group today once again. I was a little late but not bad enough to miss anything. I really enjoyed the time together with my group. I got to laugh, listen, and learn from all those in my group.
I really need to remember how different all of our lives are. Everyone has similarities but in this world we all have such diverse lives that we are living. Specific circumstances, trials, and disappointments create such immense challenges to face on a daily basis. I learned today how truly thankful I am for those in my group's life journeys. Hearing these testimonies, and life experiences allowed me to see a small window into the lives of these extraordinary women. To know what these women have gone through and how beautifully they are using they gits, talents and life lessons to help others is so inspiring! As I drove away this afternoon from church I was thanking God for these women and for all that He has done in their lives.
I so easily lose perspective on what truly is important. The little things are just that little things. I am hoping as I continue to mature in my relationship with God but also as a woman that I can apply this principle as often in life as needed! Sometimes when I get emotional or even just feeling burdened by daily life I forget about what truly matters.
I am so blessed by meeting these women and know that because of their excellent and honorable examples I am also a better person because of them.
I look forward again to next week!
I really need to remember how different all of our lives are. Everyone has similarities but in this world we all have such diverse lives that we are living. Specific circumstances, trials, and disappointments create such immense challenges to face on a daily basis. I learned today how truly thankful I am for those in my group's life journeys. Hearing these testimonies, and life experiences allowed me to see a small window into the lives of these extraordinary women. To know what these women have gone through and how beautifully they are using they gits, talents and life lessons to help others is so inspiring! As I drove away this afternoon from church I was thanking God for these women and for all that He has done in their lives.
I so easily lose perspective on what truly is important. The little things are just that little things. I am hoping as I continue to mature in my relationship with God but also as a woman that I can apply this principle as often in life as needed! Sometimes when I get emotional or even just feeling burdened by daily life I forget about what truly matters.
I am so blessed by meeting these women and know that because of their excellent and honorable examples I am also a better person because of them.
I look forward again to next week!
2/15/10 - President's Day at its best!
I love federal holidays. When I was single I hardly ever got to work at a job that observed many federal holidays. Even when I worked for banks like Wells Fargo and Citibank being that I was on the "real-estate" side, it was still a "work day".
This is one of the benefits of being married a military man. If he isn't deployed, working an exercise, or on tdy we get to have a long weekend! This weekend was just that for us! Since we didn't find a babysitter for Valentine's Day my husband had offerred for us to all go downtown and celebrate as a family. He suggested that we go to the Cheesecake Factory as it is my favorite restaurant. I have many favorites but this is probably my all time favorite. I certainly had a calorie fest tonight. My husband had won a game of "musical chairs" at his Squadron Christmas party and earned us a $50 gift certificate. So it was a fun time to go because we knew our bill would be a lot smaller than normal! I took advantage of this by trying some things we normally would of skipped. I highly reccomend you to try the Thai Lettuce wraps! I was pleasantly surprised and it was a wonderful fresh addition to our meal. My brother would of described how much I ate and how fast I ate as a "eat your face off" moment. So, it was a lot of fun to get to go there tonight. My boys were for the most part cooperative as well. Clayton made it through 3/4ths of the meal which Sean and I greatly appreciated. The good news is that we went to the Caesar's Forum Shops restaurant that has a huge aquarium beside it so Sean had somewhere to bring him when he got antsy.
After we finished eating we ventured off to one of my favorite jewelry stores. Sean has been very generous to me and has bought me several pieces from Tiffany and Co. including my wedding set. In order to keep them in good condition I try to get them cleaned as often as I can make it into the store. So, after cleaning my bracelets and a ring my husband surprised me by letting me get a ring I have been eyeing forever!! Sort of the icing on my weekend cake for sure!
We packed the kids up and after running a quick errand came home to get the boys ready for bed. Sean asked me after I had laid the baby down if I was up for watching a movie. So, we laid in bed and watched Pandorum. It was fun to stay up late with my husband watching a movie but the movie itself was not awesome.
Anyway, I appreciate so much that we got to spend so much time as a family. As I fell asleep last night I watched my husband sleep thinking to myself that I know someday he will have to deploy and I'll be laying in bed alone. So, I sent up a quick prayer thanking God for letting him be here now and to help me to always treasure the time we have together.
I look forward to more weekends like this. No baby sitter or not I had a lot of fun and enjoyed all the time we got to spend "together". Date night can be some other time.
This is one of the benefits of being married a military man. If he isn't deployed, working an exercise, or on tdy we get to have a long weekend! This weekend was just that for us! Since we didn't find a babysitter for Valentine's Day my husband had offerred for us to all go downtown and celebrate as a family. He suggested that we go to the Cheesecake Factory as it is my favorite restaurant. I have many favorites but this is probably my all time favorite. I certainly had a calorie fest tonight. My husband had won a game of "musical chairs" at his Squadron Christmas party and earned us a $50 gift certificate. So it was a fun time to go because we knew our bill would be a lot smaller than normal! I took advantage of this by trying some things we normally would of skipped. I highly reccomend you to try the Thai Lettuce wraps! I was pleasantly surprised and it was a wonderful fresh addition to our meal. My brother would of described how much I ate and how fast I ate as a "eat your face off" moment. So, it was a lot of fun to get to go there tonight. My boys were for the most part cooperative as well. Clayton made it through 3/4ths of the meal which Sean and I greatly appreciated. The good news is that we went to the Caesar's Forum Shops restaurant that has a huge aquarium beside it so Sean had somewhere to bring him when he got antsy.
After we finished eating we ventured off to one of my favorite jewelry stores. Sean has been very generous to me and has bought me several pieces from Tiffany and Co. including my wedding set. In order to keep them in good condition I try to get them cleaned as often as I can make it into the store. So, after cleaning my bracelets and a ring my husband surprised me by letting me get a ring I have been eyeing forever!! Sort of the icing on my weekend cake for sure!
We packed the kids up and after running a quick errand came home to get the boys ready for bed. Sean asked me after I had laid the baby down if I was up for watching a movie. So, we laid in bed and watched Pandorum. It was fun to stay up late with my husband watching a movie but the movie itself was not awesome.
Anyway, I appreciate so much that we got to spend so much time as a family. As I fell asleep last night I watched my husband sleep thinking to myself that I know someday he will have to deploy and I'll be laying in bed alone. So, I sent up a quick prayer thanking God for letting him be here now and to help me to always treasure the time we have together.
I look forward to more weekends like this. No baby sitter or not I had a lot of fun and enjoyed all the time we got to spend "together". Date night can be some other time.
2/14/10 - Perfect Valentine's Day!
We spend Valentine's Day by going to church and enjoying a wonderful relaxing picnic as a family. We went to the Town Square children's park where they have an artificial grass area for just that. There are dogs everywhere, kids playing, and lots of families getting to spend some quality time. We let Clayton play on the playground area and Calvin got to play on the grass with his Daddy. It was a gorgeous day we couldn't of asked God for better weather. It truly is the simple things of life that you seem to treasure after you have kids.
Just watching my husband and baby boy interact so easily on the "fake" grass while sitting in the sunshine with a very, very light breeze was a gift from above! I enjoyed watched Clayton play. They have so much for the kids to do as far as a playground goes. There is a little merry-go-round (which unfortunately in today's world are very far and few inbetween at playgrounds - at least out here), a tree house slide with lots of climbing and ladders, etc. There is a play house, with kitchen, upstairs, and bakery. There is a faux-stage for kids to put on "pretend-plays" and even a little mini-maze. I love taking Clayton here he never gets bored and always seems to be happiest playing here. We all wore red and enjoyed the wonder of a fun holiday like Valentine's Day. I know many out there would pessimistically or conspiracy developing people who think its just another way for Hallmark and chocolate manufacturers to make more money. Hey, I don't care, its fun and I will always love Valentine's Day. Especially now, that I have 3 Valentine's! :)
We finished the visit at Town Square with a little frozen yogurt. It was truly a perfect day and I will always remember it as being super special. Even my husband as he lay relaxed on the "fake" grass, eating his lunch, looked up at me and said, "I'm having a lot of fun, this was a great idea." That made my heart jump and my soul fly. Made me running around in the morning preparing the picnic lunch all worth it!!
Has your family had a picnic lately?? If not, I highly suggest it! :) Good family fun!
Hope the rest of you had a wonderful Valentine's Day!
Just watching my husband and baby boy interact so easily on the "fake" grass while sitting in the sunshine with a very, very light breeze was a gift from above! I enjoyed watched Clayton play. They have so much for the kids to do as far as a playground goes. There is a little merry-go-round (which unfortunately in today's world are very far and few inbetween at playgrounds - at least out here), a tree house slide with lots of climbing and ladders, etc. There is a play house, with kitchen, upstairs, and bakery. There is a faux-stage for kids to put on "pretend-plays" and even a little mini-maze. I love taking Clayton here he never gets bored and always seems to be happiest playing here. We all wore red and enjoyed the wonder of a fun holiday like Valentine's Day. I know many out there would pessimistically or conspiracy developing people who think its just another way for Hallmark and chocolate manufacturers to make more money. Hey, I don't care, its fun and I will always love Valentine's Day. Especially now, that I have 3 Valentine's! :)
We finished the visit at Town Square with a little frozen yogurt. It was truly a perfect day and I will always remember it as being super special. Even my husband as he lay relaxed on the "fake" grass, eating his lunch, looked up at me and said, "I'm having a lot of fun, this was a great idea." That made my heart jump and my soul fly. Made me running around in the morning preparing the picnic lunch all worth it!!
Has your family had a picnic lately?? If not, I highly suggest it! :) Good family fun!
Hope the rest of you had a wonderful Valentine's Day!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Sad but true - 2/12/10
Today I had a very unfortunate update regarding the status of my back. It was a lot worse diagnosis than I had ever expected. I did pray before I walked into the office hoping it wasn't going to be cancer or anything extreme like that. Cancer for some reason is one of those things you never expect to happen to you and then "boom" out of nowhere you get the news.
Thankfully, that wasn't the case today. I'm very blessed knowing that its not as bad as it could be. However, it isn't good and I have a long future of treatments ahead of me to hopefully see some real serious results. I had my first adjustment today and I am a little sore. The good news is, is that I do feel a difference.
Without boring you the bottom line is that the Dr said that my back on an x-ray is that of a 60 year old woman. Which being only 33 isn't ideal. I have played sports my whole life and always been the "scrappy" and aggressive player that isn't afraid of getting hurt. Now, I'm paying the price of that dedication and commitment to my sport. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't "not" have played in highschool and college but I think I would of done more after college to continually treat this injury.
The thing that brought tears to my eyes was hearing that if I don't do something about this quickly that I may not be able to pick my grandkids up when I'm older. This is what really broke my heart knowing that my "lack" of action and proactivity could rob me of the joy of having that wonderful joyful experience of being a very "active" and "involved" grandparent. I know that my kids are still so young that this shouldn't be something I should be worried about. To be honest, its not worry what I'm feeling but rather a severe burden of failure looming over my shoulders weighing my heart down. This was a preventable and controllable condition that I was simply lazy and apathetic about treating. I have no one to blame but myself. For all those out there struggling through disease, medical conditions, genetic defects, and other physically challenging health concerns that were not "their" faults and "not" in their control I feel completely shameful. This has taught me a very valuable lesson about that tomorrow can not wait for me to be healthy.
I will never ever feel like this again and will do everything I can do improve my health and wellness that I can.
Incredibly, I have of recent started shopping at Whole Foods. My husband and I have been a little skeptical about "vegan, vegetarian, and organic" eating mostly in part to the cost involved in doing that. At this point, I am open to trying new things and breaking down enough to start small and see where we go from there.
Just the other night I bought my 9 month old son some new snacks that were organic type of crackers. My 2 year old son found those on the counter this morning and after eating breakfast decided to try some himself. He then plopped on the couch full on snacking on these crackers. The interesting thing was, I was at first tempted to get after him for eating after breakfast. I stopped myself thinking, if he is going to eat something its best that it be a whole grain organic snack like that. So, I let him eat his heart away! The great thing is, is that my 9 month old son also likes them and enjoys sharing with his brother!
For all of you out there who already eat organic, vegetarian, or vegan I'm not on the wagon yet but I'm going to at least look in the wagon!
For all of you who do not eat this way and aren't even considering it I encourage you to at least be open to some small things here and there. You never know, tomorrow you could get a wake up call like I did today that will "force" you to improve your lifestyle, eating habits, and fitness status. I know I sure have!
Everyone have a great weekend.
Love on someone today!
I know I'm going too!!!
Thankfully, that wasn't the case today. I'm very blessed knowing that its not as bad as it could be. However, it isn't good and I have a long future of treatments ahead of me to hopefully see some real serious results. I had my first adjustment today and I am a little sore. The good news is, is that I do feel a difference.
Without boring you the bottom line is that the Dr said that my back on an x-ray is that of a 60 year old woman. Which being only 33 isn't ideal. I have played sports my whole life and always been the "scrappy" and aggressive player that isn't afraid of getting hurt. Now, I'm paying the price of that dedication and commitment to my sport. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn't "not" have played in highschool and college but I think I would of done more after college to continually treat this injury.
The thing that brought tears to my eyes was hearing that if I don't do something about this quickly that I may not be able to pick my grandkids up when I'm older. This is what really broke my heart knowing that my "lack" of action and proactivity could rob me of the joy of having that wonderful joyful experience of being a very "active" and "involved" grandparent. I know that my kids are still so young that this shouldn't be something I should be worried about. To be honest, its not worry what I'm feeling but rather a severe burden of failure looming over my shoulders weighing my heart down. This was a preventable and controllable condition that I was simply lazy and apathetic about treating. I have no one to blame but myself. For all those out there struggling through disease, medical conditions, genetic defects, and other physically challenging health concerns that were not "their" faults and "not" in their control I feel completely shameful. This has taught me a very valuable lesson about that tomorrow can not wait for me to be healthy.
I will never ever feel like this again and will do everything I can do improve my health and wellness that I can.
Incredibly, I have of recent started shopping at Whole Foods. My husband and I have been a little skeptical about "vegan, vegetarian, and organic" eating mostly in part to the cost involved in doing that. At this point, I am open to trying new things and breaking down enough to start small and see where we go from there.
Just the other night I bought my 9 month old son some new snacks that were organic type of crackers. My 2 year old son found those on the counter this morning and after eating breakfast decided to try some himself. He then plopped on the couch full on snacking on these crackers. The interesting thing was, I was at first tempted to get after him for eating after breakfast. I stopped myself thinking, if he is going to eat something its best that it be a whole grain organic snack like that. So, I let him eat his heart away! The great thing is, is that my 9 month old son also likes them and enjoys sharing with his brother!
For all of you out there who already eat organic, vegetarian, or vegan I'm not on the wagon yet but I'm going to at least look in the wagon!
For all of you who do not eat this way and aren't even considering it I encourage you to at least be open to some small things here and there. You never know, tomorrow you could get a wake up call like I did today that will "force" you to improve your lifestyle, eating habits, and fitness status. I know I sure have!
Everyone have a great weekend.
Love on someone today!
I know I'm going too!!!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Looking in his eyes - 2/11/10
Every morning I wake up my favorite thing to do is to go get my 9 month old son out of his crib. Each morning going into his room I always am so pleasantly surprised to find what I see. This morning he was sitting with his back turned to the door chewing on one of the toys I had left in his crib for him. As he heard my entry he turned his head with toy in mouth saw me and immediately tried to turn around and pull himself up. He then met me at the crib with smiles all around and his arms outstretched. Its crazy how much joy something so simple and basic can make you feel 10 feet tall and a "Queen" of the world.
I regret somewhat for when Clayton was this age. I enjoyed him just as much but at the time I was learning what it was to be a Mom. Learning how to build a routine and follow it. I was wrapped up way too much on the details. I wish I would of done less and enjoyed more. So this lesson I learned from Clayton I am making up for with Calvin.
I understand now why people say the "baby" in the family is always spoiled. Well, ok, some people say this. I know that in my case being the youngest in my family this was true for me. I didn't necessarily grow up with a silver spoon in my hand but I did receive a lot of attention. Attention for a child is far more precious and important than any toy or material possession. I think even a teenager who is "busy" with their life, texting, friends, boys/girls, popularity, sports, etc would have to agree having their parent's attention is important.
Everytime I find myself looking into his eyes (my son) I have such a feeling of peace and fufillment. It makes me feel so loved and blessed. God knew that I needed a son with a different personality than Clayton. I need Clayton to challenge me to push me to my very limits to learn patience and compassion. While with Calvin I am learning how to take it easy, to slow down, to "smell the roses" and I am loving it!
I think if I had, had another strong-willed child I probably wouldn't of wanted any more children. Not because I don't enjoy Clayton because I really do. He is "me" incarnate so for me to say that I don't enjoy him is to say I'm not enjoyable. I can't speak for my husband, kids, family, or my friends but I do hope I am enjoyable beyond all my flaws. (smile) I think that when you face yourself in your children (personality-wise) it makes you full appreciate what "your" parents went through. Clayton has allowed me to be grateful to my parents in a way that I never really truly understood before. I was always thankful for my parents but now I can honestly say I am grateful "to" my parents. For all the challenges I made for them.
Calvin has been an inspiration to me and I know that we will probably want our third child sooner than later because as each day passes my little "baby" boy is disappearing. It breaks my heart to see him becoming more independant and "toddler-like". Just the fact that he started crawling at 5 months and now is walking at 9 months is ridiculous. All I wanted was for someone to take their time growing up. However, both my sons have and are rebeling against this request.
Lord, please if it be your will can you please consider giving me a little girl. And not to be selfish or picky but could she please take her time growing up??? No matter what your plan for me is, I am grateful for it and am so blessed for what you have already provided to me. I could not be more humbled by these precious lives given to me. Help me raise them as you would want me too. Lend me your wisdom at all times. Instill in me your unlimited and unconditional patience that I am so lacking. Thank you. In your name I pray, Amen.
I hope all of us Moms and Dads out there are relishing each day that our kids are still kids. Tomorrow they will be teenagers, leaving for college telling us that they'll be "fine" on their own. Oh the thought!!!
God bless all of you as we head into the weekend.
I regret somewhat for when Clayton was this age. I enjoyed him just as much but at the time I was learning what it was to be a Mom. Learning how to build a routine and follow it. I was wrapped up way too much on the details. I wish I would of done less and enjoyed more. So this lesson I learned from Clayton I am making up for with Calvin.
I understand now why people say the "baby" in the family is always spoiled. Well, ok, some people say this. I know that in my case being the youngest in my family this was true for me. I didn't necessarily grow up with a silver spoon in my hand but I did receive a lot of attention. Attention for a child is far more precious and important than any toy or material possession. I think even a teenager who is "busy" with their life, texting, friends, boys/girls, popularity, sports, etc would have to agree having their parent's attention is important.
Everytime I find myself looking into his eyes (my son) I have such a feeling of peace and fufillment. It makes me feel so loved and blessed. God knew that I needed a son with a different personality than Clayton. I need Clayton to challenge me to push me to my very limits to learn patience and compassion. While with Calvin I am learning how to take it easy, to slow down, to "smell the roses" and I am loving it!
I think if I had, had another strong-willed child I probably wouldn't of wanted any more children. Not because I don't enjoy Clayton because I really do. He is "me" incarnate so for me to say that I don't enjoy him is to say I'm not enjoyable. I can't speak for my husband, kids, family, or my friends but I do hope I am enjoyable beyond all my flaws. (smile) I think that when you face yourself in your children (personality-wise) it makes you full appreciate what "your" parents went through. Clayton has allowed me to be grateful to my parents in a way that I never really truly understood before. I was always thankful for my parents but now I can honestly say I am grateful "to" my parents. For all the challenges I made for them.
Calvin has been an inspiration to me and I know that we will probably want our third child sooner than later because as each day passes my little "baby" boy is disappearing. It breaks my heart to see him becoming more independant and "toddler-like". Just the fact that he started crawling at 5 months and now is walking at 9 months is ridiculous. All I wanted was for someone to take their time growing up. However, both my sons have and are rebeling against this request.
Lord, please if it be your will can you please consider giving me a little girl. And not to be selfish or picky but could she please take her time growing up??? No matter what your plan for me is, I am grateful for it and am so blessed for what you have already provided to me. I could not be more humbled by these precious lives given to me. Help me raise them as you would want me too. Lend me your wisdom at all times. Instill in me your unlimited and unconditional patience that I am so lacking. Thank you. In your name I pray, Amen.
I hope all of us Moms and Dads out there are relishing each day that our kids are still kids. Tomorrow they will be teenagers, leaving for college telling us that they'll be "fine" on their own. Oh the thought!!!
God bless all of you as we head into the weekend.
Taking care of Mommy - 2/10/10
Its not often that I go to the Dr. Other than being pregnant and having those OB appointments I don't go to the Dr. Thankfully, my whole life I have been blessed by being very healthy. I do not take this for granted whatsoever and actually as I welcomed all my 2010 new resolutions one was to get myself fit and healthier. Since I was in highschool I have been struggling with lower back problems. Even yet today I still struggle with the aches and pains caused by having chronic back spasms and stiffness. So, as of yesterday I finally visited a Dr here in Las Vegas. I was referred to him by my massage therapist so I felt somewhat confident in going there knowing he had helped someone else who deals with stiff and sore muscles all day long.
It was a great appointment and tomorrow I go in the morning to get my official adjustment and full consult after he ran some tests and took some x-rays yesterday.
It was just a few weeks ago also that I went to the dentist for a check up. I still need to go and have a little work done but couldn't be more thankful to know that after that my teeth are in good condition.
I'm not sure how many of you Mom's feel about taking care of yourself versus focusing only on taking care of your family but I know I was guilty of this. I don't feel "selfish" for pursuing better overall health for myself, I actually feel "responsible". I lost my Mother at the age of 18. There isn't one day since the day she passed away that I don't miss her or wish she was here. I can't control the future but I can control how well I take care of myself. There isn't a greater desire in my heart than to be here as long as I can for my children. I would never want my boys to experience the heart break and pain caused by the loss of a parent. I'm not sure if this is going to be a reality of preventing but rather I'm trying to do what I can to make sure while I'm here at I'm at my very best.
I hope that in taking better care of myself that I can in turn take better care of my family. For there is no greater calling on my life than that.
Hope you guys have had a great Wednesday!
It was a great appointment and tomorrow I go in the morning to get my official adjustment and full consult after he ran some tests and took some x-rays yesterday.
It was just a few weeks ago also that I went to the dentist for a check up. I still need to go and have a little work done but couldn't be more thankful to know that after that my teeth are in good condition.
I'm not sure how many of you Mom's feel about taking care of yourself versus focusing only on taking care of your family but I know I was guilty of this. I don't feel "selfish" for pursuing better overall health for myself, I actually feel "responsible". I lost my Mother at the age of 18. There isn't one day since the day she passed away that I don't miss her or wish she was here. I can't control the future but I can control how well I take care of myself. There isn't a greater desire in my heart than to be here as long as I can for my children. I would never want my boys to experience the heart break and pain caused by the loss of a parent. I'm not sure if this is going to be a reality of preventing but rather I'm trying to do what I can to make sure while I'm here at I'm at my very best.
I hope that in taking better care of myself that I can in turn take better care of my family. For there is no greater calling on my life than that.
Hope you guys have had a great Wednesday!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Getting wet! - 2/9/10
This morning I woke up early to prepare my contribution to the breakfast buffet at the women's Bible study I attend on Tuesday mornings. I then proceeded to get ready and get my kid's stuff ready as well. I felt like I was ahead of the game by the time my oldest woke up ready for breakfast this morning. He was even well-behaved enough for me to actually get my dishes done from my baking. My youngest woke up and after feeding him, I changed his diaper and got my kids packed away in the truck. I felt so blessed that it wasn't raining by the time we got to church because unfortunately against all my planning and preparation I was still late. I was thankful though because as I pushed my kids in the stroller into church we were warm and dry.
I rushed upstairs just in time to get my baked good on the table so that at least some people could partake. I enjoyed the study this morning thoroughly. Something about when women gather together that a special bond that forms amongst the group. I am sure that men have a similar experience as well. I just know how much it encourages me and provides such insight into how I may walk closer with my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.
I was excited to get down stairs and pick up my boys to take them home for lunch. Little did I know a unfortunate surprise was waiting for me. I saw it was wet on the sidewalk as I walked by a window downstairs but what I didn't know was how hard it was raining. Getting there late I had to park quite a ways away from the church entrance. Thankfully, my husband allowed us to get a great double stroller that has a wonderfully covered seats (www.bobgear.com) so my boys were able to keep dry. However, Mommy wasn't so lucky. I thought before I left this morning maybe I should wear a coat that would have a hood to at least keep me a little dry. I had thought I would miss the rain but as you can read I was really wrong. As I scrambled to get them into the truck I was really dripping. Part of the reason why we bought the stroller we did was because it has great flexibility by allowing you to remove the wheels to fit it in any small space you might need to fit it in. Since I drive our Honda Ridgeline around the most we don't have a real trunk. So, I have to fit it in the front (passenger) seat. Today, was not a fun day to remove all 3 wheels and fold it up putting it in the front seat. By the time all this was accomplished my shirt, my hair, and my jeans were soaking wet. It was not a fun experience let me tell you. The good news is, is that we got home safe and sound with 2/3rds of us dry. It was all worth it and I'd do it again if I had too. Although, I do hope that next Tuesday it isn't raining when we come and when we leave. Other than that it can rain. Cause I do love the rain!! What us Mom's have to do to get out of the house!!! :)
Not sure how you spent your Tuesday morning but I do hope that it was warm and dry wherever you were!! Have a great rest of your day!!!
I rushed upstairs just in time to get my baked good on the table so that at least some people could partake. I enjoyed the study this morning thoroughly. Something about when women gather together that a special bond that forms amongst the group. I am sure that men have a similar experience as well. I just know how much it encourages me and provides such insight into how I may walk closer with my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.
I was excited to get down stairs and pick up my boys to take them home for lunch. Little did I know a unfortunate surprise was waiting for me. I saw it was wet on the sidewalk as I walked by a window downstairs but what I didn't know was how hard it was raining. Getting there late I had to park quite a ways away from the church entrance. Thankfully, my husband allowed us to get a great double stroller that has a wonderfully covered seats (www.bobgear.com) so my boys were able to keep dry. However, Mommy wasn't so lucky. I thought before I left this morning maybe I should wear a coat that would have a hood to at least keep me a little dry. I had thought I would miss the rain but as you can read I was really wrong. As I scrambled to get them into the truck I was really dripping. Part of the reason why we bought the stroller we did was because it has great flexibility by allowing you to remove the wheels to fit it in any small space you might need to fit it in. Since I drive our Honda Ridgeline around the most we don't have a real trunk. So, I have to fit it in the front (passenger) seat. Today, was not a fun day to remove all 3 wheels and fold it up putting it in the front seat. By the time all this was accomplished my shirt, my hair, and my jeans were soaking wet. It was not a fun experience let me tell you. The good news is, is that we got home safe and sound with 2/3rds of us dry. It was all worth it and I'd do it again if I had too. Although, I do hope that next Tuesday it isn't raining when we come and when we leave. Other than that it can rain. Cause I do love the rain!! What us Mom's have to do to get out of the house!!! :)
Not sure how you spent your Tuesday morning but I do hope that it was warm and dry wherever you were!! Have a great rest of your day!!!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Feeling Guilty - 2/8/10
Since this new year has started I have tried to put in "action" what my heart was telling me it was wanting to do. I wanted to get back into shape and lose a little weight I had gain prior to getting pregnant with Calvin. I also was interested in getting involved in a women's Bible study/small group. With these new commitments I was making I didn't realize the emotional strain it was going to be on my heart and mind.
Being a stay at home Mom is great because you get to be with your kids all the time. Yes, there are moments where you need a break and that is the real beauty of nap time. God created it with all us parents in mind! However, when I have been going to the gym I leave my kids in the gym's child care area. Honestly, besides putting Clayton in the church nursery/children's ministry I really have never left my kids in a structured day care environment. I have had baby sitters yes but thats usually in "my" home or someone else's home. It was very difficult the first time. I felt like I was abandoning them and it was such a bizarre experience for this stay at home Mommy. I try to go to the gym at least 4 times a week and I would go more if I didn't have children. In talking to my husband this afternoon I was sharing with him these feelings I have been having. Wondering if I was being a bad Mom going to the gym so often and going to this Bible study weekly. As I am writing this I am still questioning if I'm doing right by my kids. My husband being supportive and encouraging shared that what I am doing is good and not inappropriate. He said if I was going to a "bar" or "partying" that then maybe it would be considered a little negative time apart but the time apart I am having with my boys is beneficial not only for me but for them. I want my kids to be well adjusted and not "clingy". So I know in part this is a small opportunity for an hour or so here or there for them to get that socialization that they are missing when I have them home with me alone all day.
Its amazing all the things you start to think about as a parent. Questioning yourself on every level and hoping that your "best" is good enough for your little treasures.
I hope that these feelings of guilt will subside a little as time continues with this new schedule. However, I know that if their health, happiness or overall wellness is at all disturbed I'll definitely have to revise my current strategy.
In the meantime, I am hoping to lose this weight sooner than later so at least I can see the results of all my hard work, early mornings and sore muscles! Hee hee!
I wish you all the best in your weekly schedules and routines. I hope that where ever you are and whatever you are doing that God blesses your love and efforts toward your children. As this is my own prayer for myself.
Have a great day!
Being a stay at home Mom is great because you get to be with your kids all the time. Yes, there are moments where you need a break and that is the real beauty of nap time. God created it with all us parents in mind! However, when I have been going to the gym I leave my kids in the gym's child care area. Honestly, besides putting Clayton in the church nursery/children's ministry I really have never left my kids in a structured day care environment. I have had baby sitters yes but thats usually in "my" home or someone else's home. It was very difficult the first time. I felt like I was abandoning them and it was such a bizarre experience for this stay at home Mommy. I try to go to the gym at least 4 times a week and I would go more if I didn't have children. In talking to my husband this afternoon I was sharing with him these feelings I have been having. Wondering if I was being a bad Mom going to the gym so often and going to this Bible study weekly. As I am writing this I am still questioning if I'm doing right by my kids. My husband being supportive and encouraging shared that what I am doing is good and not inappropriate. He said if I was going to a "bar" or "partying" that then maybe it would be considered a little negative time apart but the time apart I am having with my boys is beneficial not only for me but for them. I want my kids to be well adjusted and not "clingy". So I know in part this is a small opportunity for an hour or so here or there for them to get that socialization that they are missing when I have them home with me alone all day.
Its amazing all the things you start to think about as a parent. Questioning yourself on every level and hoping that your "best" is good enough for your little treasures.
I hope that these feelings of guilt will subside a little as time continues with this new schedule. However, I know that if their health, happiness or overall wellness is at all disturbed I'll definitely have to revise my current strategy.
In the meantime, I am hoping to lose this weight sooner than later so at least I can see the results of all my hard work, early mornings and sore muscles! Hee hee!
I wish you all the best in your weekly schedules and routines. I hope that where ever you are and whatever you are doing that God blesses your love and efforts toward your children. As this is my own prayer for myself.
Have a great day!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Doing it alone - 2/8/10
I'm not only a stay-at-home Mom but I'm also a military spouse. Which makes it a very interesting combination. I am very blessed to have married a man who is far enough into his career that I was able to bypass a lot of the many deployments I would of spent alone if we had married earlier in his career. However, with that said, I have had to endure a few deployments in the short time we have been married. Thankfully, not many. But any time spent apart as a couple is difficult and stressful. Being married you want to live your everyday life with your spouse and when you do it apart it makes for a very interesting adjustment.
Since we have moved from Nebraska I am very happy to share that Sean has not had to deploy. However, he has had to travel a lot for his job which is far better than any foreign deployment but it still is a challenge to have him gone when we have two children to care for. I'm glad that I had the upbringing that I did because my Mom taught me how to multitask well. Because of this I am able to cope with his absence but that doesn't mean it goes without its difficulties. The days are definitely longer and more tiring but you do what you got to do.
I try to do a few things to help move the time along easier. We try to get out of the house at least once a day. This allows for me to fill a few hours of the day doing something that the kids hopefully will enjoy and allow me to accomplish something at the same time. Going to church today was very helpful because that was an hour or so that Clayton was occupied playing with some kids and I got to spend some quality time with Calvin during the service. It was very nice to worship holding my baby boy while he cuddled on my shoulder enjoying the music and fellowship of other believers. I cherish these moments with my baby boy because soon he'll be way too old to be with me during the service and I'll have to resort to a children's ministry for him. I love to keep him with me because he is a very laid back and loving boy. Although, as each service passes he is getting more anxious and busy not wanting to just settle in my arms.
Tonight, we'll take it easy and have a nice pizza party together and maybe even watch a movie. Either way, I think I'll do "bath" night tomorrow and have a simple night time routine tonight.
Doing it alone is very realistic but it just creates a little more challenges along the way. I am very grateful to God that he has allowed me to learn how to overcome my fears of being out of the comfort of my home where all my necessary resources are. It took awhile but I've learned to do it and I think for the most part I do it pretty well. I look forward to this week for gym workouts, my women's Bible Study and maybe even a trip to the park if the weather permits!
Whether you are doing it alone or not I wish you all the best for your week! May it be full of fun and wonderful memories!
Since we have moved from Nebraska I am very happy to share that Sean has not had to deploy. However, he has had to travel a lot for his job which is far better than any foreign deployment but it still is a challenge to have him gone when we have two children to care for. I'm glad that I had the upbringing that I did because my Mom taught me how to multitask well. Because of this I am able to cope with his absence but that doesn't mean it goes without its difficulties. The days are definitely longer and more tiring but you do what you got to do.
I try to do a few things to help move the time along easier. We try to get out of the house at least once a day. This allows for me to fill a few hours of the day doing something that the kids hopefully will enjoy and allow me to accomplish something at the same time. Going to church today was very helpful because that was an hour or so that Clayton was occupied playing with some kids and I got to spend some quality time with Calvin during the service. It was very nice to worship holding my baby boy while he cuddled on my shoulder enjoying the music and fellowship of other believers. I cherish these moments with my baby boy because soon he'll be way too old to be with me during the service and I'll have to resort to a children's ministry for him. I love to keep him with me because he is a very laid back and loving boy. Although, as each service passes he is getting more anxious and busy not wanting to just settle in my arms.
Tonight, we'll take it easy and have a nice pizza party together and maybe even watch a movie. Either way, I think I'll do "bath" night tomorrow and have a simple night time routine tonight.
Doing it alone is very realistic but it just creates a little more challenges along the way. I am very grateful to God that he has allowed me to learn how to overcome my fears of being out of the comfort of my home where all my necessary resources are. It took awhile but I've learned to do it and I think for the most part I do it pretty well. I look forward to this week for gym workouts, my women's Bible Study and maybe even a trip to the park if the weather permits!
Whether you are doing it alone or not I wish you all the best for your week! May it be full of fun and wonderful memories!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
When to stop - 2/6/10
Something I've been contemplating quite often lately is when to stop nursing my son Calvin. He will be 9 months old in two days and I keep wondering when is it a good time to wean him. At this point with my oldest son Clayton I had already stopped because he kept biting me on purpose. So, at 8 months I stopped and he really didn't have a problem with it. Clayton has always been a little too independant for his own good. He didn't really even have to be weaned off a bottle. He just stopped caring about it. So we decided what a better time to wean him off a bottle. He wasn't even a year old. Calvin on the other side is much more "dependant". And so, it is to my best Mother's discretion when the best time is. I wonder sometimes as a parent especially as a Mother is it our instincts that are God-given? I question myself so often if I am doing right by my children. I am hoping that keeping myself accountable or attempting to will prove later to be positive rather than negative.
I still don't know when I will wean Calvin but I am going to keep praying that when I feel it is the right time God will give me the peace and confidence to know I'm doing the right thing. The good news is that no matter when this is done that my son will never go hungry. :) That's a huge blessing that so many around the world struggle with. For this I thank God daily.
When you put trivial things about parenting into perspective it releases a lot of undue burden and stress.
I am so grateful for my children and even more humbled in my gratitude to God for all the many blessings in our lives.
I guess its not so much about when to stop. But more about learning to trust myself as a parent.
I still don't know when I will wean Calvin but I am going to keep praying that when I feel it is the right time God will give me the peace and confidence to know I'm doing the right thing. The good news is that no matter when this is done that my son will never go hungry. :) That's a huge blessing that so many around the world struggle with. For this I thank God daily.
When you put trivial things about parenting into perspective it releases a lot of undue burden and stress.
I am so grateful for my children and even more humbled in my gratitude to God for all the many blessings in our lives.
I guess its not so much about when to stop. But more about learning to trust myself as a parent.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Getting 'er done - 2/5/10
What a day! Woke up, fed the boys, went to the gym, fed the boys and then the cleaning began once the naps were intiated! I can not believe how dirty a house can get when you "feel" like you pick up a little everyday? What grosses me out more is that the large percentage of the yuck is our dead skin cells leaving their ugly presence known. I had a large amount of energy yesterday once I had put the boys down for a nap. I am not sure if it is because of my recent induction back into the world of fitness or if I just knew it needed to get done? Either way, I was thankful for it and didn't take it for granted at all. I felt like I was on an adrenaline high because I was able to get so much done.
Part of my job as a stay at home Mom is keeping the home kept. Its a very difficult and at times overwhelming responsibility. So much redundancy involved in the daily chores but you do it because you love those that you're doing it for.
I have gotten a lot of tips, advice and suggestions on what to do to make my everyday life of a "house keeper" easier and more efficient. I've tried to attempt those but overall just decided to do it the best I can hoping that I can keep the house for the most part presentable. We lived in a 1680 (give or take a few square feet) sq foot house in Nebraska and when we moved out here bought a 3000 sq foot house. Almost doubling the amount of our space which was great but also doubled my work load. I hope that each day I can keep putting forth the effort to get more done everyday around the house to keep a more organized home for my family.
It takes a lot of energy and a lot of determination to keep a clean house. I don't often accomplish this as good as I know I can but I try my hardest to put forth the effort to at least try as much as I can.
It is my hope that as the kids get older that I can have more of an organizational routine that suits me and compliments our lifestyle. Until then, I'm trying my best to keep my head above water with diaper changes, breast feeding, potty training, and toy management!
My best wishes to all of you in your house keeping endeavors. :)
Part of my job as a stay at home Mom is keeping the home kept. Its a very difficult and at times overwhelming responsibility. So much redundancy involved in the daily chores but you do it because you love those that you're doing it for.
I have gotten a lot of tips, advice and suggestions on what to do to make my everyday life of a "house keeper" easier and more efficient. I've tried to attempt those but overall just decided to do it the best I can hoping that I can keep the house for the most part presentable. We lived in a 1680 (give or take a few square feet) sq foot house in Nebraska and when we moved out here bought a 3000 sq foot house. Almost doubling the amount of our space which was great but also doubled my work load. I hope that each day I can keep putting forth the effort to get more done everyday around the house to keep a more organized home for my family.
It takes a lot of energy and a lot of determination to keep a clean house. I don't often accomplish this as good as I know I can but I try my hardest to put forth the effort to at least try as much as I can.
It is my hope that as the kids get older that I can have more of an organizational routine that suits me and compliments our lifestyle. Until then, I'm trying my best to keep my head above water with diaper changes, breast feeding, potty training, and toy management!
My best wishes to all of you in your house keeping endeavors. :)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Dealing with the "attitude" - 2/3/10
Being a Mother to a 2 yr old is definitely a lot of fun! At this age Clayton almost 3 yrs old and I can have a conversation. When I say, "ow!" - he runs and says, "what happened?" - "owees??" and then proceeds to give me a kiss on my owee. This and many other moments like these are so treasured anad precious to me and my husband. There are many of these fun and comedic incidents on a daily basis with my Clayton. However, there are a lot of "terrible two" moments as well. Clayton has been a "strong-willed" child since he was born. Wanting it his way and wanting it "now"! I have recently read the "Strong-willed child" by Dr. James Dobson. He is a Christian psychologist and looked to by many as a expert when it comes to raising children. I enjoyed the book thoroughly because I was able to relate to these Mothers who were enduring their strong-willed children's daily challenges. It was a great relief to me knowing that "I" wasn't the only one. That it wasn't because "I" was a bad parent that my child would act out this way. I myself was also a strong-willed child and acted out negatively toward my parents growing up. As I reached junior high my relationship with my Mother dramatically changed from difficult to enjoyable. For both of us. As I continued to grow up I developed a desire to "be" the person my Mother hoped and prayed I would become. This desire stays with me to this very day. Even after her death when I was 18 years old.
I love my Clayton more than life itself. I would do anything for him. I pray each day that I can be that parent that he needs to develop that desire to become the man that God and my husband and I want him to become. I often feel that I fall short. What keeps me going is that I know everything happens for a reason. That God gave me this child for a reason and "I" according to the Lord was the right person for this job. So I remain "employed" in this job for life hoping that at the end of my employment that God can say, "well done good and faithful servant." As well as seeing my son grown into a man of faith, mature, responsible and loving (many, many other character traits as well that I won't go into listing right now) person.
Recently, he has been really struggling with having a bad attitude. If he doesn't like something we are asking him to do he of course likes to say, "no". If we ask him to do it anyway he responds with his favorite statement as of now, "stop it". So we're working on reversing this problem. I'm incredibly frustrated with his lack of respect. I am going to be relentless on working through this problem with him. I understand he's 2 but I also understand that he is very smart for his age. He has an incredible talent for really comprehending his surroundings and situations. It is because of this that I know I can be confident in teaching him that Mom and Dad are the bosses and are to be respected. I'm not sure how long this is going to take but I'm one hundred percent committed to dealing with this atittude problem of his!
I wish you the best in your "toddler" molding efforts as well if that is, you are in the midst of that season in your life as well! :) Happy Parenting!
I love my Clayton more than life itself. I would do anything for him. I pray each day that I can be that parent that he needs to develop that desire to become the man that God and my husband and I want him to become. I often feel that I fall short. What keeps me going is that I know everything happens for a reason. That God gave me this child for a reason and "I" according to the Lord was the right person for this job. So I remain "employed" in this job for life hoping that at the end of my employment that God can say, "well done good and faithful servant." As well as seeing my son grown into a man of faith, mature, responsible and loving (many, many other character traits as well that I won't go into listing right now) person.
Recently, he has been really struggling with having a bad attitude. If he doesn't like something we are asking him to do he of course likes to say, "no". If we ask him to do it anyway he responds with his favorite statement as of now, "stop it". So we're working on reversing this problem. I'm incredibly frustrated with his lack of respect. I am going to be relentless on working through this problem with him. I understand he's 2 but I also understand that he is very smart for his age. He has an incredible talent for really comprehending his surroundings and situations. It is because of this that I know I can be confident in teaching him that Mom and Dad are the bosses and are to be respected. I'm not sure how long this is going to take but I'm one hundred percent committed to dealing with this atittude problem of his!
I wish you the best in your "toddler" molding efforts as well if that is, you are in the midst of that season in your life as well! :) Happy Parenting!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
To eat or not to eat? 2/1/10
I have been pondering the whole organice versus non-organic to the vegan lifestyle and all the other diet and new food fads that are going around nowadays. Its something that some Moms I have talked to are super strict about and some Moms a little more relaxed. I have tried to remain a little conservative about it because I feel that "food" no matter what for me should remain fun and enjoyable. The moment food begins to become a "means to an end" or a "job" or a "political" statement I feel like I'm going to lose out on that principle.
I have watched the many talk shows interview all these authors that feel they are the "expert" on food. Recently Oprah had a guy on that was talking about his perspective on "conscious" eating. He had all these rules and one of them was pretty interesting. He said that if your "Grandparent's parents" could not recognize something as "food" then not to eat it. He had an example of the "gogurt" tubes and how they are a terrible thing to eat. I then start to think of how much my little 2 year old boy enjoys the whole cause and effect of push up and the yogurt comes out! Do I take that away from him because of this "guy's" perspective on food? And why is "he" the expert? I listened to what he had to say and then continued watching as they started sharing a "vegan's" perspective on how they eat. A friend of mine told me a year ago that she started to give her one year old daughter organic milk because a friend of her's told her that it will help prevent "premature" development of the girls chest. Where are these things truly realistic or just a "myth" or "assumption" or "truths?" I'm not sure about all these things to be honest. I feed my sons conventionally grown fruits and I don't use organic milk. I have bought a few things organic in my lifetime and for "myself" I have not "tasted" a real difference. Being a farm girl I understand what it takes to grow your own food and the benefits of it. I also know a lot of people who eat organically but don't care about fitness?? Is this not a contradiction? Its a great thing to pursue such a clean lifestyle when it comes to eating but if you eat in large amounts this is also unhealthy? Or eat a big organic meal and go sit on the couch afterward watching tv. Or eat a vegan diet but struggle with your weight? There are many contradictions or hypocritical ideas that I have come across when researching this for myself as I struggle through what is "right" for me and my family. And so far, what I've come up with is trying to achieve what I earlier had referenced. Keeping food fun and enjoyable. Whatever accomplishes this is what I am going to commit to doing for our family.
We have been very thankful and feel very blessed that our family has experienced being very healthy. And this based on a "non-vegan", "gluten", "non-organic", and conventionally grown foods. I'm not sure if this will always be the case but as for now I think for us, its what we feel is suitable for our family.
I want to make sure I'm clear when I post this that this is a "personal" choice and that my reflections are only being shared because I have been struggling with a lot of people's influence, "soap-box" moments, and other input that I have been privy too that have caused me to really reflect on what's best for me. I do not at all have anything to say about any other specific persons choices when it comes to food. :) This being a preface so no one writes me with negative or angry comments. I wish you all the best and "happy eating"!
I have watched the many talk shows interview all these authors that feel they are the "expert" on food. Recently Oprah had a guy on that was talking about his perspective on "conscious" eating. He had all these rules and one of them was pretty interesting. He said that if your "Grandparent's parents" could not recognize something as "food" then not to eat it. He had an example of the "gogurt" tubes and how they are a terrible thing to eat. I then start to think of how much my little 2 year old boy enjoys the whole cause and effect of push up and the yogurt comes out! Do I take that away from him because of this "guy's" perspective on food? And why is "he" the expert? I listened to what he had to say and then continued watching as they started sharing a "vegan's" perspective on how they eat. A friend of mine told me a year ago that she started to give her one year old daughter organic milk because a friend of her's told her that it will help prevent "premature" development of the girls chest. Where are these things truly realistic or just a "myth" or "assumption" or "truths?" I'm not sure about all these things to be honest. I feed my sons conventionally grown fruits and I don't use organic milk. I have bought a few things organic in my lifetime and for "myself" I have not "tasted" a real difference. Being a farm girl I understand what it takes to grow your own food and the benefits of it. I also know a lot of people who eat organically but don't care about fitness?? Is this not a contradiction? Its a great thing to pursue such a clean lifestyle when it comes to eating but if you eat in large amounts this is also unhealthy? Or eat a big organic meal and go sit on the couch afterward watching tv. Or eat a vegan diet but struggle with your weight? There are many contradictions or hypocritical ideas that I have come across when researching this for myself as I struggle through what is "right" for me and my family. And so far, what I've come up with is trying to achieve what I earlier had referenced. Keeping food fun and enjoyable. Whatever accomplishes this is what I am going to commit to doing for our family.
We have been very thankful and feel very blessed that our family has experienced being very healthy. And this based on a "non-vegan", "gluten", "non-organic", and conventionally grown foods. I'm not sure if this will always be the case but as for now I think for us, its what we feel is suitable for our family.
I want to make sure I'm clear when I post this that this is a "personal" choice and that my reflections are only being shared because I have been struggling with a lot of people's influence, "soap-box" moments, and other input that I have been privy too that have caused me to really reflect on what's best for me. I do not at all have anything to say about any other specific persons choices when it comes to food. :) This being a preface so no one writes me with negative or angry comments. I wish you all the best and "happy eating"!
Monday, February 1, 2010
The Important Facts - 2/1/10
As I woke up this morning I didn't really take the time to ponder much about my life. I just knew that I was going to wake up and go to the gym. So, as I got my kids down for their naps I had a few free minutes to sit and watch Oprah. I know, I know, really? Yes, really. I was looking forward to watching this episode because it was about CEO's, Presidents taking on the challenge of working the jobs of the "front-line" people. Waste Management's Chief Operations Officer and President took the week trying on several different roles. From trash separator, garbage truck operator, picking up trash on a landfill field, cleaning out port-o-potties, to a landfill operator were the different positions he experienced for the week. The other CEO was from Seven Eleven. He worked as an overnight shift cashier, morning coffee bar assistant, and a delivery truck driver. It was so interesting to see these executives work a blue collar position. The surprising thing about it was how terrible they were at these "simple" everyday responsibilties of these employees. Really opened their eyes to see what the "behind the scenes" people really do and how it isn't as simple or easy as they had assumed it might be. It really impacted these CEO's that the people they worked with/for were humble, hard working and very sincere about their jobs. It moved them to do some really great things for their employees that deserved some recognition and support.
My husband recently experienced the "opposite" side of this situation recently. He was a nominee for a nice award that if he had won would of made him feel recognized for all his hard work and supported for his "behind the scenes" efforts for his Wing (term used for a large group of people in the Air Force that are all coordinated under one title). It was a huge disappointment for him and he felt very discouraged being overlooked when the person who was the recipient didn't even show up for the actual ceremony. I can understand his frustration. There is nothing worse than doing all you can and putting forth a lot of "gut level" effort to accomplish the task at hand. Right now he is working on a 9.2 Million dollar contract that is very important to overseas efforts and protecting our troops. I could not explain to him more how much I appreciate him and all that he does. But unfortunately, in our living room, in my sweatpants and t-shirt with no one else around didn't seem the same as a room full of a hundred people all dressed up in a award ceremony wasn't the same. I just hope that the important facts of what he does and who he is will someday come to help him accomplish his overall goals. I have to pray that if it be God's will for him that he does get recognized for his hard work and behind the scenes efforts.
I thank God so much though for all the blessings we have in our lives. We have such a wonderful family and we are all healthy and happy. All the rest of the details are going to be filled it as we continue to walk forward. I'm going to do my best not to worry about them and just let them unfold as they were meant to be. I will however, do what I can to thank God everyday for the many blessings He is pouring into our lives.
My husband recently experienced the "opposite" side of this situation recently. He was a nominee for a nice award that if he had won would of made him feel recognized for all his hard work and supported for his "behind the scenes" efforts for his Wing (term used for a large group of people in the Air Force that are all coordinated under one title). It was a huge disappointment for him and he felt very discouraged being overlooked when the person who was the recipient didn't even show up for the actual ceremony. I can understand his frustration. There is nothing worse than doing all you can and putting forth a lot of "gut level" effort to accomplish the task at hand. Right now he is working on a 9.2 Million dollar contract that is very important to overseas efforts and protecting our troops. I could not explain to him more how much I appreciate him and all that he does. But unfortunately, in our living room, in my sweatpants and t-shirt with no one else around didn't seem the same as a room full of a hundred people all dressed up in a award ceremony wasn't the same. I just hope that the important facts of what he does and who he is will someday come to help him accomplish his overall goals. I have to pray that if it be God's will for him that he does get recognized for his hard work and behind the scenes efforts.
I thank God so much though for all the blessings we have in our lives. We have such a wonderful family and we are all healthy and happy. All the rest of the details are going to be filled it as we continue to walk forward. I'm going to do my best not to worry about them and just let them unfold as they were meant to be. I will however, do what I can to thank God everyday for the many blessings He is pouring into our lives.
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