As I drove to the gym this morning I was hoping that the new class I decided to attend was going to be worthwhile. It was entitled "Cardio Workout" so I envisioned something pretty low key as far as difficulty and more of an endurance workout. Little did I know what I was in for. As I stretched out in preparation for my work out I talked to the instructor who informed me of how intense this "cardio" workout was going to be. I then started to look toward the door thinking how good a walk on the treadmill sounded? However, I being an athlete love a good challenge and workout I stayed. It was so hard! I am so out of shape so for some of you this story may be a little hard for you to relate too. Just jump roping for a few minutes winded me? Terrible I know! It did become a lot harder as we continued on and as I wiped my brow full of sweat I kept thinking this getting back into shape thing is going to be so hard. I wish I could just snap my fingers and "BOOM" I'm back in shape, my body is perfect, and I don't have to break a sweat or anything!!
Isn't life a lot like this? You go through something hard and you wonder "Why, am I going through this?" - something painful comes into your life, and we ask "Why me?" Anything in life that isn't easy is always inconvenient. It really pushes us to our breaking point and through the middle of it we're wondering if we're going to make it. Today, it seemed as I pushed my body to endure these exercises I thought the same thing. "Why, do I have to do this to accomplish my goal?" And the answer although simple is difficult to accept. It is the challenges of life that make us stronger. I could sit on the couch and never want to life a finger to get back into shape but then I'd never "be" the person I want to be. Healthy, fit and in shape for both myself and my family. If I want to be better I have to be willing to work hard and push myself past my comfort zone.
I hope with all my heart that I can teach this principle to my kids. That when tough things come into their life not to be focused on the situation, to push onward and accept that this circumstance may have been allowed to make them a better/stronger/more virtuous person! I lost my Mom at age 18 and my Father at age 26. It has been a painful loss for my family and myself but thankfully, we can say that it is this loss that has allowed us to become the people we are today. I can't say that I don't miss them each and everyday since they have been gone but it is the example that they left for me that gives me something to strive for.
I'm not sure where any of you are in your lives right now. But I just want to tell you from my personal experience that the hard things of life that I have gone through has made me a stronger person. At the same time it has also allowed me to have a better appreciation for when the good stuff comes around too.
Yes, if I could snap my fingers to clean my house, the bathrooms, floors, laundry yes, I would definitely take advantage of that. But, for the rest of my life, I think I'll settle for the difficult "cardio workout" that pushes me to my limits in good and bad ways. :)
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Beautiful Day at the Park - 1/27/10
Today was a great day. I was so thankful for so many things today. I was thankful for the beautiful weather, the lack of stress, and a wonderful opportunity to bond with my sons over a simple picnic lunch.
I took my sons out to the Town Square playground again this morning. I planned everything to a "t". From getting up early and getting myself ready to feeding my kids breakfast while preparing the picnic lunch.
I am always praying to God for my oldest son to have good behavior when we go out in public. And today was no different. My husband being out of town called me while I was on my way out to the playground and while saying goodbye to me wished me good luck. Which I half way laughed at hoping luck would have nothing to do with it. The last time I took Clayton out to the playground he was absolutely an angel. And I am more than pleased to announce that today was no different. I am learning though that my youngest is starting to feel left out but I can't let him crawl around on the ground out there. So, I am hoping by the next time I go, I can remember to bring my sling or the bjorn so that I won't have to keep pulling him back from wanting to climb on all the stuff out there!
It was such a nice little afternoon out with my boys I just kept thinking how much fun I was having with them. I every once awhile thought how nice it would have been to have Sean there. Spending time like this as a family is so precious and memorable for me. I like to have nice things and go on those fun vacations, who doesn't? But, for me it is in the simplicity of city on a park bench with both my children sharing a few minutes while enjoying the weather and food together that my heart spills over with joy. I will never forget these moments. Watching my son run around with such happiness and excitement is a gift that I will always feel eternally grateful for. The days of a SAHM at times can be tedious, exhausting, and frustrating but at the same time its full of "firsts" (first steps, first laugh, first smile), and full of fun (games, hugs, laughing) and to me these things are so priceless and precious nothing could ever change my mind about doing it everyday! I often fast forward to the days where my son will not want me to kiss his cheek in public. To a night where he won't want to sit on my lap and watch a movie. Or I will not carry him up to bed for his nap. These thoughts even now bring tears to my eyes as I will dearly miss these extraordinary moments of my life as a Mom. I pray so hard that when my boys grow up that they will still want to have close relationship with me. I get told frequently by older Moms how to savor and appreciate these days of "young" children because they grow up so fast. To those Moms I say, "yes, I will appreciate them and soak them up all I can." But do allow me my moments of insanity as at times like any job it gets hard or overwhelming.
Thank you Clayton and Calvin for spending the day with Mommy. I had so much fun and you were both so well-behaved and enjoyable. Your laughter, smiles, and excitement could not of made me any happier to have been given such a blessing to be able to spend that time with you. I can't wait till we get to go back again!! Hope you are enjoying your naps and we'll have some more fun tonight! Love you with all my heart!
Love, Your Mommy
I took my sons out to the Town Square playground again this morning. I planned everything to a "t". From getting up early and getting myself ready to feeding my kids breakfast while preparing the picnic lunch.
I am always praying to God for my oldest son to have good behavior when we go out in public. And today was no different. My husband being out of town called me while I was on my way out to the playground and while saying goodbye to me wished me good luck. Which I half way laughed at hoping luck would have nothing to do with it. The last time I took Clayton out to the playground he was absolutely an angel. And I am more than pleased to announce that today was no different. I am learning though that my youngest is starting to feel left out but I can't let him crawl around on the ground out there. So, I am hoping by the next time I go, I can remember to bring my sling or the bjorn so that I won't have to keep pulling him back from wanting to climb on all the stuff out there!
It was such a nice little afternoon out with my boys I just kept thinking how much fun I was having with them. I every once awhile thought how nice it would have been to have Sean there. Spending time like this as a family is so precious and memorable for me. I like to have nice things and go on those fun vacations, who doesn't? But, for me it is in the simplicity of city on a park bench with both my children sharing a few minutes while enjoying the weather and food together that my heart spills over with joy. I will never forget these moments. Watching my son run around with such happiness and excitement is a gift that I will always feel eternally grateful for. The days of a SAHM at times can be tedious, exhausting, and frustrating but at the same time its full of "firsts" (first steps, first laugh, first smile), and full of fun (games, hugs, laughing) and to me these things are so priceless and precious nothing could ever change my mind about doing it everyday! I often fast forward to the days where my son will not want me to kiss his cheek in public. To a night where he won't want to sit on my lap and watch a movie. Or I will not carry him up to bed for his nap. These thoughts even now bring tears to my eyes as I will dearly miss these extraordinary moments of my life as a Mom. I pray so hard that when my boys grow up that they will still want to have close relationship with me. I get told frequently by older Moms how to savor and appreciate these days of "young" children because they grow up so fast. To those Moms I say, "yes, I will appreciate them and soak them up all I can." But do allow me my moments of insanity as at times like any job it gets hard or overwhelming.
Thank you Clayton and Calvin for spending the day with Mommy. I had so much fun and you were both so well-behaved and enjoyable. Your laughter, smiles, and excitement could not of made me any happier to have been given such a blessing to be able to spend that time with you. I can't wait till we get to go back again!! Hope you are enjoying your naps and we'll have some more fun tonight! Love you with all my heart!
Love, Your Mommy
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Juggling - 1/27/10
Learning to juggle my boys is something I'm working on. Ok, not literally throwing them up in the air hoping to catch and throw the other one in the process. But attempting to meet their needs consistently is definitely my most present challenge.
Today was a very busy day for me. Sean left for his trip to Florida this morning which was sad for us all. But, after he drove away the train of Wednesday started right off. I won't go into the specific details but we had many "wardrobe" changes, a few required moments of carpet cleaning, a lot of dishes, and sometimes tears.
It was a challenge today mostly because Sean was gone. I didn't get my relief pitcher in the 7th inning because my arm was shot. I was a "lone reed". (Quote from "You've Got Mail" - Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks) I felt like the few times I got to sit down were so infrequent and short-lived that the couch was almost like a hot potato for me. Up, down, Up, down.
Thank goodness that the boys both took some good naps this afternoon or else I'm not sure how I would of made it through the night. I havent' taken naps myself in months. But Monday I took a short one, yesterday I did, and today I also did. I don't know what it is about naps for me but I feel so guilty taking one? I feel like, I'm a grown woman. What the heck am I doing taking a nap? Who do I think I am? Queen Sheba? But, nevertheless, I took them and I enjoyed it. Granted it is always hard peeling myself out of my comfy position to get back up and restart my evening but thankfully, its just the energy booster I needed. Especially after today.
I think it so vital to say how much I look up to those single parents out there. Whether they presently are or were in their past parenting alone I just want to say, "Well done." It is so hard to pull the weight of the household, the kids, and the finances alone. I could not imagine such a difficult road. And I pray, I never will. For those taking that difficult but valuable journey I just want you to know that I really respect you and thank God for your faithful and unconditional love for your children. What a great portrait of God's unfailing love and sacrifice for us. You are the "ulimate" jugglers. I thought a lot of that today as I ran around the house doing everything alone. How thankful, truly thankful I am that I have such a great partner to live this life with and share the duties of raising our boys. Neither of us are perfect parents and sometimes we bump heads on certain aspects of what "we" think is right to do with the boys. But, overall, perfect or not, I love sharing this life with my husband. I wouldn't have it any other way.
He is in Florida attending an awards ceremony for his Wing. And I couldnt' be more proud of him. He has already been recognized for one award but is a nominee for an annual award. So I am praying very hard that he is the recipient. I know he deserves it.
As I close this blog for today. I just want to say, that being a Mom is such a very beautiful thing. Its the hardest job I always dreamed of and wanted so badly! As I look into the eyes of my baby boys I just count my many blessings seeing how wonderfully happy I am knowing how honored I feel to be their Mom. Thank you Lord for my family. Help me continue to learn to serve them and love them the best I possibly can. Thanks for the juggling lessons. :) Hopefully, someday I can call myself a true Juggler. :)
Today was a very busy day for me. Sean left for his trip to Florida this morning which was sad for us all. But, after he drove away the train of Wednesday started right off. I won't go into the specific details but we had many "wardrobe" changes, a few required moments of carpet cleaning, a lot of dishes, and sometimes tears.
It was a challenge today mostly because Sean was gone. I didn't get my relief pitcher in the 7th inning because my arm was shot. I was a "lone reed". (Quote from "You've Got Mail" - Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks) I felt like the few times I got to sit down were so infrequent and short-lived that the couch was almost like a hot potato for me. Up, down, Up, down.
Thank goodness that the boys both took some good naps this afternoon or else I'm not sure how I would of made it through the night. I havent' taken naps myself in months. But Monday I took a short one, yesterday I did, and today I also did. I don't know what it is about naps for me but I feel so guilty taking one? I feel like, I'm a grown woman. What the heck am I doing taking a nap? Who do I think I am? Queen Sheba? But, nevertheless, I took them and I enjoyed it. Granted it is always hard peeling myself out of my comfy position to get back up and restart my evening but thankfully, its just the energy booster I needed. Especially after today.
I think it so vital to say how much I look up to those single parents out there. Whether they presently are or were in their past parenting alone I just want to say, "Well done." It is so hard to pull the weight of the household, the kids, and the finances alone. I could not imagine such a difficult road. And I pray, I never will. For those taking that difficult but valuable journey I just want you to know that I really respect you and thank God for your faithful and unconditional love for your children. What a great portrait of God's unfailing love and sacrifice for us. You are the "ulimate" jugglers. I thought a lot of that today as I ran around the house doing everything alone. How thankful, truly thankful I am that I have such a great partner to live this life with and share the duties of raising our boys. Neither of us are perfect parents and sometimes we bump heads on certain aspects of what "we" think is right to do with the boys. But, overall, perfect or not, I love sharing this life with my husband. I wouldn't have it any other way.
He is in Florida attending an awards ceremony for his Wing. And I couldnt' be more proud of him. He has already been recognized for one award but is a nominee for an annual award. So I am praying very hard that he is the recipient. I know he deserves it.
As I close this blog for today. I just want to say, that being a Mom is such a very beautiful thing. Its the hardest job I always dreamed of and wanted so badly! As I look into the eyes of my baby boys I just count my many blessings seeing how wonderfully happy I am knowing how honored I feel to be their Mom. Thank you Lord for my family. Help me continue to learn to serve them and love them the best I possibly can. Thanks for the juggling lessons. :) Hopefully, someday I can call myself a true Juggler. :)
Learning about Seasons - 1/26/10
Today was a hectic day. Another day where I had to keep telling myself, "keep going, you're going to make it." "Don't turn back. Keep moving forward."
I woke up this morning early as my both my boys decided to be early risers. This always gives me the motivation to get more done. My husband and I had decided the night before to leave the car at the dealership and pick it up today. I regretted that decision late last night as I remembered today was my Women's Bible Study. I was so frustrated knowing I was going to miss it. I always try to present that I don't care what people think of me but deep down I think we all do care. Whether we act on it or not is really the big factor. So, I called the dealership asking if they would come pick me up so that I could in turn pick up my car. This whole process was not a simple or easy thing. This meant that I was to install 2 car seats twice. I installed Clayton's in the shuttle van and then Calvin's. We drove to the dealership I picked up my car - not an easy thing when you are trying to juggle two different kids while also paying for the repair, re-installing the car seats, and keeping both of them happy and safe. Thank the Lord I made it - a little sweaty and stressed out but I made it. On to Bible study. A little easier said than done. I had to drive a whole half an hour to church from where the dealership was located. So, I made it to church finally. I was a half an hour late, but I made it. Again, I kept doubting myself. Is this worth it? Is this worth it? But I kept reminding myself that this process was long and drawn out and if I turned back now it would make all my hard work pointless. So on I went. I checked Clayton in to the child care service they provide and kept Calvin. He is extremely attached to me (as was Clayton as this age). Nursing is a great thng. I highly reccomend it to all those "first" time Mom's or any Mom's considering trying it again. Although, I truly enjoy it and am thankful that God has provided me this chance to do such a beautiful thing for my son, it also becomes frustrating when you try to get some "downtime" and no one can soothe them but you. So, I tried to entertain him throughout the 2 hour study and was extremely exhausted at the end. Next week, I am going to pray hard and do everything I can to see if he'll stay in the child care for at least half the time. He's at the age where he isn't just happy being held for that amount of time. He wants to pull himself up, crawl and has been in the last week trying to walk. I enjoyed the study and conversation that I was able to have all throughout Calvin's interruptions. I was extremely glad that I went and was very proud of myself for pushing forward when all I wanted to do is call it "quits". The lesson was a lot about seasons. Learning what to prune and when to prune your vine so that you can ultimately grow the best relationship with God possible all the while becoming the person He wants you to be. Ultimately, doing what is best for you to do during this season to accomplish this.
I have struggled throughout the past few years living here in Vegas with trying so very hard to develop meaningful relationships and friendships. I've been very blessed finding some really sincere and genuine people amongst the "sea" of people here. However, I have learned over this amount of time that when you move around (especially from a very "grounded and settled" place) you can not expect to find what you came from. I can only hope to find some goood friends and do my best to build on those friendships. I left some great friends in Nebraska. Some of them I do not get to talk to as often as I would like because of the time difference as well as the season of life they are in. Talking on the phone for any length of time for me is a immense luxury I do not often get to partake. So, thankful for Facebook and other networking opportunities that we have nowadays to allow up to see into each other's lives withotu having to invest a lot of time and effort unfortunately isn't always in the cards. I have also learned this last year that I need to put obligationary things aside. The biggest reason is because they cause me more stress than benefit. I believe in doing things because its the right thing to do. However, I also believe in moderation when it comes to always feeling "burdened". I have prayed a lot about moving away from certain commitments and obligations that I have made since being here in Vegas and God thankfully has given me a great peace about relieving some of the burden and stress I have caused myself by biting off more than I can chew. Sean and I so badly want to enjoy the same fellowship and friendships that we left in Nebraska. But, we both have realized that what we have here is also good and maybe it isn't about trying to replicate what we miss. And just appreciating what we have found here knowing it's just a season.
Its interesting how much you learn about life even after you get through being a teenager, a young adult and now a "adult-adult"? If that's even a proper title for a 30 year old? Anyway, I just want to say that it has been such a freeing experience to feel comfort knowing that walking away from some things isn't a "bad" thing but just maybe a "temporary" one. Knowing this, makes me feel good and happy as I look forward to when I get to walk "to" those same things again one day.
In the meantime, I'm going to follow what my "Computer" teacher in highschool taught me in class one day, K.I.S.S. -
Keep
It
Simple
Stupid
This is a good motto for me and what season I'm in right now!
Best wishes for the rest of you out there for wherever you are. Find peace in whatever that is.
I woke up this morning early as my both my boys decided to be early risers. This always gives me the motivation to get more done. My husband and I had decided the night before to leave the car at the dealership and pick it up today. I regretted that decision late last night as I remembered today was my Women's Bible Study. I was so frustrated knowing I was going to miss it. I always try to present that I don't care what people think of me but deep down I think we all do care. Whether we act on it or not is really the big factor. So, I called the dealership asking if they would come pick me up so that I could in turn pick up my car. This whole process was not a simple or easy thing. This meant that I was to install 2 car seats twice. I installed Clayton's in the shuttle van and then Calvin's. We drove to the dealership I picked up my car - not an easy thing when you are trying to juggle two different kids while also paying for the repair, re-installing the car seats, and keeping both of them happy and safe. Thank the Lord I made it - a little sweaty and stressed out but I made it. On to Bible study. A little easier said than done. I had to drive a whole half an hour to church from where the dealership was located. So, I made it to church finally. I was a half an hour late, but I made it. Again, I kept doubting myself. Is this worth it? Is this worth it? But I kept reminding myself that this process was long and drawn out and if I turned back now it would make all my hard work pointless. So on I went. I checked Clayton in to the child care service they provide and kept Calvin. He is extremely attached to me (as was Clayton as this age). Nursing is a great thng. I highly reccomend it to all those "first" time Mom's or any Mom's considering trying it again. Although, I truly enjoy it and am thankful that God has provided me this chance to do such a beautiful thing for my son, it also becomes frustrating when you try to get some "downtime" and no one can soothe them but you. So, I tried to entertain him throughout the 2 hour study and was extremely exhausted at the end. Next week, I am going to pray hard and do everything I can to see if he'll stay in the child care for at least half the time. He's at the age where he isn't just happy being held for that amount of time. He wants to pull himself up, crawl and has been in the last week trying to walk. I enjoyed the study and conversation that I was able to have all throughout Calvin's interruptions. I was extremely glad that I went and was very proud of myself for pushing forward when all I wanted to do is call it "quits". The lesson was a lot about seasons. Learning what to prune and when to prune your vine so that you can ultimately grow the best relationship with God possible all the while becoming the person He wants you to be. Ultimately, doing what is best for you to do during this season to accomplish this.
I have struggled throughout the past few years living here in Vegas with trying so very hard to develop meaningful relationships and friendships. I've been very blessed finding some really sincere and genuine people amongst the "sea" of people here. However, I have learned over this amount of time that when you move around (especially from a very "grounded and settled" place) you can not expect to find what you came from. I can only hope to find some goood friends and do my best to build on those friendships. I left some great friends in Nebraska. Some of them I do not get to talk to as often as I would like because of the time difference as well as the season of life they are in. Talking on the phone for any length of time for me is a immense luxury I do not often get to partake. So, thankful for Facebook and other networking opportunities that we have nowadays to allow up to see into each other's lives withotu having to invest a lot of time and effort unfortunately isn't always in the cards. I have also learned this last year that I need to put obligationary things aside. The biggest reason is because they cause me more stress than benefit. I believe in doing things because its the right thing to do. However, I also believe in moderation when it comes to always feeling "burdened". I have prayed a lot about moving away from certain commitments and obligations that I have made since being here in Vegas and God thankfully has given me a great peace about relieving some of the burden and stress I have caused myself by biting off more than I can chew. Sean and I so badly want to enjoy the same fellowship and friendships that we left in Nebraska. But, we both have realized that what we have here is also good and maybe it isn't about trying to replicate what we miss. And just appreciating what we have found here knowing it's just a season.
Its interesting how much you learn about life even after you get through being a teenager, a young adult and now a "adult-adult"? If that's even a proper title for a 30 year old? Anyway, I just want to say that it has been such a freeing experience to feel comfort knowing that walking away from some things isn't a "bad" thing but just maybe a "temporary" one. Knowing this, makes me feel good and happy as I look forward to when I get to walk "to" those same things again one day.
In the meantime, I'm going to follow what my "Computer" teacher in highschool taught me in class one day, K.I.S.S. -
Keep
It
Simple
Stupid
This is a good motto for me and what season I'm in right now!
Best wishes for the rest of you out there for wherever you are. Find peace in whatever that is.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Automobile Strategy - 1/25/09
Today we had a bit of a scare with our 2003 Honda Accord. I bought this car about a year before I met Sean and "loved" this car. It was my baby and I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would keep it this long. Back before I got married I "loved" buying new cars every three years or so. Horrible strategy when it comes to logically owning a car but I didn't care. I was single making a good living I wanted to spend my money!
I've had this car now over 7 years and still love this car. On Sunday Sean got home from working a few hours on base telling me he had a lot of trouble getting the car out of PARK. So, I took the car into HONDA and prayed hard that it wasn't the transmission. If any of you out there own a car that was manufactured after the year 2000 a lot of the transmission is computer based which means "expensive" to replace or repair. So, as Sean and I awaited the verdict on the car's future in our ownership we prayed hard that God would help us prevent any major repairs at this time. The only thing I've ever had to repair on the car is brake replacement and tires. I guess this is a really good selling point for some of you reading this seeing that my car is 7 years old and has 94,000 miles and have had minor maintainence issues. We have been planning on upgrading our vehicle in about a year. Our plan was to buy a certain vehicle that if you don't finance it accurately could cost up to $800 or more a month. This is not in our budget so, we have been strategically saving and investing so that our down payment would be somewhere near half the cost of the vehicle. Allowing us to finance minimally so that we would be able to have a lower payment, short term and the least amount of interest. If we would of had to repair the vehicle anywhere near $1500 or more we were going to seriously consider prematurely initiating this plan. As much as I would love to get that vehicle now, I want to do it when it's the "right" time. So, with that being said, God was gracious and we found out early this afternoon that the total cost to fix the car would be $300. Yeah!!
So our automobile strategy is still safely intact! This makes me excited though for the day its supposed to come knowing that we will be holding all the right cards when we are ready to start negociating! I love this scenario because I haven't always been so "wise" when it comes to car purchases as previously stated above. The last vehicle Sean and I purchased as a family was our truck in 2007. I did the negociating and Sean did the financing. We are a good team because as of April 1st, we will have it paid in full. Which means we will have "NO" car payments! Yeah! So, that's just that much more we can save and invest for our future family caravan!
Its so interesting though how life changes. A few years ago I could of cared less about having a car payment or not. Now, I want to avoid them like the plague. :) I look forward to when we get our next vehicle knowing we'll drive it till it dies!! Never, would I have thought "I" would think that way. But, its true what they say, a "family" changes you. I have my husband to thank for a majority of my changes when it comes to consider finances. I'm no where near where I need to be but I'm working on it daily and know that I have a long way to go. Just glad though, that I'm heading in the right direction.
If any of you out there are not "perfect" when it comes to managing your finances. I encourage you to accept the teaching of your husband/wife who is. I know I am trying hard to listen to Sean and apply more consistently what he is trying to help me learn. I know in the long run its going to be better for our family. What better goal is there than that. (Other than of course surrendering our "material" possessions to God.)
Thanks Sean for your encouragement, accountability and wisdom when it comes to our family's finances. You are doing a great job and I really appreciate how great of a provider you are and have been since the day we were married! I love you so much.
I've had this car now over 7 years and still love this car. On Sunday Sean got home from working a few hours on base telling me he had a lot of trouble getting the car out of PARK. So, I took the car into HONDA and prayed hard that it wasn't the transmission. If any of you out there own a car that was manufactured after the year 2000 a lot of the transmission is computer based which means "expensive" to replace or repair. So, as Sean and I awaited the verdict on the car's future in our ownership we prayed hard that God would help us prevent any major repairs at this time. The only thing I've ever had to repair on the car is brake replacement and tires. I guess this is a really good selling point for some of you reading this seeing that my car is 7 years old and has 94,000 miles and have had minor maintainence issues. We have been planning on upgrading our vehicle in about a year. Our plan was to buy a certain vehicle that if you don't finance it accurately could cost up to $800 or more a month. This is not in our budget so, we have been strategically saving and investing so that our down payment would be somewhere near half the cost of the vehicle. Allowing us to finance minimally so that we would be able to have a lower payment, short term and the least amount of interest. If we would of had to repair the vehicle anywhere near $1500 or more we were going to seriously consider prematurely initiating this plan. As much as I would love to get that vehicle now, I want to do it when it's the "right" time. So, with that being said, God was gracious and we found out early this afternoon that the total cost to fix the car would be $300. Yeah!!
So our automobile strategy is still safely intact! This makes me excited though for the day its supposed to come knowing that we will be holding all the right cards when we are ready to start negociating! I love this scenario because I haven't always been so "wise" when it comes to car purchases as previously stated above. The last vehicle Sean and I purchased as a family was our truck in 2007. I did the negociating and Sean did the financing. We are a good team because as of April 1st, we will have it paid in full. Which means we will have "NO" car payments! Yeah! So, that's just that much more we can save and invest for our future family caravan!
Its so interesting though how life changes. A few years ago I could of cared less about having a car payment or not. Now, I want to avoid them like the plague. :) I look forward to when we get our next vehicle knowing we'll drive it till it dies!! Never, would I have thought "I" would think that way. But, its true what they say, a "family" changes you. I have my husband to thank for a majority of my changes when it comes to consider finances. I'm no where near where I need to be but I'm working on it daily and know that I have a long way to go. Just glad though, that I'm heading in the right direction.
If any of you out there are not "perfect" when it comes to managing your finances. I encourage you to accept the teaching of your husband/wife who is. I know I am trying hard to listen to Sean and apply more consistently what he is trying to help me learn. I know in the long run its going to be better for our family. What better goal is there than that. (Other than of course surrendering our "material" possessions to God.)
Thanks Sean for your encouragement, accountability and wisdom when it comes to our family's finances. You are doing a great job and I really appreciate how great of a provider you are and have been since the day we were married! I love you so much.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Raining on my Parade and Loving it! 1/21/10
Wow! Its raining for the third day in a row! I live in Las Vegas and the area that I live in has hardly gotten any rain in the past few years I have lived here. Anytime it rained the hot temperature and potent sun exposure received in this desert climate evaporated it before it had any time to water our plants or even cool the temperatures outside.
Its beautiful to hear it, see it and even smell it. My favorite sound to hear when I fall asleep or even wake up is the tinkling drops of rain on the window. As a child this was a frequent experience for me and when I moved here I didn't realize how "important" it was to me to live somewhere it rains.
A lot of people here that "love" Vegas desert weather are complaining about the rain. I realize its inconvenient for it to be wet and it does affect the temperatures outside during this part of the year here. I just know that its so relaxing and cozy to have this weather. I will miss it when its gone and so I am trying to appreciate it as much as I can while its here. Soon it will be 120 degrees outside and we will feel like vampires inside until around 7 or 8 at night when its finally cool enough to let my boys play outside (with sunscreen at all times).
I love my sweatpants, my socks, my sweatshirts, and all the wonderful layers I am getting wear during these next few days!
Thank you God for this wonderful weather.
I love how its so symbollic of this season in my life.
Washing away all the things I want to be free of and getting a fresh new start.
Rain please don't go away. I love you. :)
Its beautiful to hear it, see it and even smell it. My favorite sound to hear when I fall asleep or even wake up is the tinkling drops of rain on the window. As a child this was a frequent experience for me and when I moved here I didn't realize how "important" it was to me to live somewhere it rains.
A lot of people here that "love" Vegas desert weather are complaining about the rain. I realize its inconvenient for it to be wet and it does affect the temperatures outside during this part of the year here. I just know that its so relaxing and cozy to have this weather. I will miss it when its gone and so I am trying to appreciate it as much as I can while its here. Soon it will be 120 degrees outside and we will feel like vampires inside until around 7 or 8 at night when its finally cool enough to let my boys play outside (with sunscreen at all times).
I love my sweatpants, my socks, my sweatshirts, and all the wonderful layers I am getting wear during these next few days!
Thank you God for this wonderful weather.
I love how its so symbollic of this season in my life.
Washing away all the things I want to be free of and getting a fresh new start.
Rain please don't go away. I love you. :)
Getting back in the GYM! 1/20/10
So, I woke up this morning with a burden on my shoulders. The constant voice rining in my mind that says, "You're paying for a gym membership that's not getting used." And I usually answer back to this voice, "I know, but "I'm tired"." Finally, I got my lazy bottom up and decided today was the day I wasn't going to have excuses but I was going to overcome my apathy by being proactive. I had my second son a little over 8 months ago and thankfully I lost all 30 lbs that I gained during pregnancy within about less than 5 months. I have since then been working on some weight I gained prior to getting pregnant. I have an ideal weight that since I graduated from college I have tried to maintain. With my nationality, body shape and overall bone structure I should idealistically weigh about 110 lbs. I reached that goal after I had Clayton. It was much easier to reach this goal with Clayton because I could work out everyday at home on my elliptical machine while he napped. With 2 kids who up until the last week napped separate times I didn't have that luxury. Also, having 2 kids to run after is a little more physically demanding than just 1. So, I have been a little slow on losing the extra weight I'm trying to get rid off.
So, yesterday was my fresh start and I got into the gym! Yeah!
I have no excuse to not go. The gym is only blocks away from my house! I signed up when they were offerring free daycare for my kids. So, really, the only thing in my way was me.
Its so imperative I believe as a parent that I take the best care of my kids as possible. And without sounding selfish I believe that its important to be healthy. Its not just about fitting into my "ideal" pair of jeans but rather that I know that I will be here a long time (God-willing) if I remain healthy. Its not that a few extra pounds here and there are going to cause me great harm but when I exercise I have more energy to take care of my kids. Having that hour a day to be physical is mentally refreshing and refining. I don't think about the dishes, the laundry, the dusting or vacumning waiting for me at home. Just trying to lift that weight, lunge one more time, overcome the burning in my arms when I do that last pushup. Its wonderful and I'm glad that I'm back to committing to this important aspect of my life as a Mom and athlete.
I hope that these last few pounds will pour off in the next few weeks as I have a goal to be free of this extra weight by Valentine's Day!
So, yesterday was my fresh start and I got into the gym! Yeah!
I have no excuse to not go. The gym is only blocks away from my house! I signed up when they were offerring free daycare for my kids. So, really, the only thing in my way was me.
Its so imperative I believe as a parent that I take the best care of my kids as possible. And without sounding selfish I believe that its important to be healthy. Its not just about fitting into my "ideal" pair of jeans but rather that I know that I will be here a long time (God-willing) if I remain healthy. Its not that a few extra pounds here and there are going to cause me great harm but when I exercise I have more energy to take care of my kids. Having that hour a day to be physical is mentally refreshing and refining. I don't think about the dishes, the laundry, the dusting or vacumning waiting for me at home. Just trying to lift that weight, lunge one more time, overcome the burning in my arms when I do that last pushup. Its wonderful and I'm glad that I'm back to committing to this important aspect of my life as a Mom and athlete.
I hope that these last few pounds will pour off in the next few weeks as I have a goal to be free of this extra weight by Valentine's Day!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Overcoming your fears - 1/19/10
Well, today I feel very accomplished after a full day of events. This morning I was waiting for once for my boys to wake up. I was encouraged by a member of the staff at Central Christian to try to Mom to Mom's small group Bible study that meets on Tuesday mornings at 9:30. So, I woke up early wondering if I would be able to make it to church in time. Well, 8:00 rolled around and I knew it would probably be impossible to make it. So, I kept arguing with myself back and forth whether or not to push forward and accept the stress involved with running around trying to get the kids ready to go. Finally, at 8:15 my oldest woke up and the race began. I got my youngest son first to nurse him and get him changed. Check. Then I ran to get my oldest breakfast and changed ready to go. Check. Get the stuff they needed for the trip. Juice, water, diapers, etc, etc. So off we went and left the house officially at 9:30. I was going to be late. But, as I stated above. I just kept having to repeat to myself in my mind, "just go, just keep going you can do it - its ok if you are late - better late than never - you can do it - you CAN do it" So I kept going and we made it. We were a half an hour late but we made it. It was a great meeting and I really enjoyed myself. I was so thankful that I went and learned a good lesson.
So often in the pasts few months I have missed out on opportunities because I was too lazy to push myself to get out of the house. Its so easy as a stay at home Mom to find such security in the "familiar". Having my diapers, my washclothes, the bathtub, the lunch food readily available, convenient potty breaks, and the comfort of being in your home when your kids are ready to nap. However, I have found how important it is for my boys to get out of their comfort zone for socialization purposes. Clayton to find new friends and learn new ways of communication by talking to kids both younger and older. For Calvin to learn that its ok for Mommy to have an hour away every now and then.
I look forward to my new Bible Study and the opportunity to improve myself both as a wife and Mommy.
So often in the pasts few months I have missed out on opportunities because I was too lazy to push myself to get out of the house. Its so easy as a stay at home Mom to find such security in the "familiar". Having my diapers, my washclothes, the bathtub, the lunch food readily available, convenient potty breaks, and the comfort of being in your home when your kids are ready to nap. However, I have found how important it is for my boys to get out of their comfort zone for socialization purposes. Clayton to find new friends and learn new ways of communication by talking to kids both younger and older. For Calvin to learn that its ok for Mommy to have an hour away every now and then.
I look forward to my new Bible Study and the opportunity to improve myself both as a wife and Mommy.
Monday, January 18, 2010
A great MLK Holiday - 1/18/10
It doesn't feel like Monday night. It feels more like a Sunday night. Waking up this morning really hurt. Physically painful to climb out of my warm and cozy bed to get ready for what I thought was going to be a fun-filled day outside with my boys. We had originally planned on going to a place here in Vegas called Towne Square. Its an outdoor shopping area but it has a wonderful kids outside playground area that Clayton absolutely adores. In the summer time they have a great water fountain that comes out of the ground several spots on a timer so kids can play in the water without it having to be a pool. Clayton loves this too. Being that its still a little cool for that type of thing we still go because of the awesome play area they have. Today, when we woke up it was unusally dark outside which made it even more difficult to wake up. In the end, we decided to go to Chuck E. Cheese. We wanted to do something fun for the kids and Sean thought of Chuck E. Cheese. He had gone there when he was younger so he knew what it was like.
As we prepared the kids to go we dealt with packing up the truck with all the "stuff"you take with you when travel. After a little stress we were on our way. I was even a little grouchy as my husband questioned my "navigational" instructions.
We finally arrived and once we did I knew Clayton was going to have fun. It was interesting to watch him jump from game to game with no tokens yet having so much fun! Its a great thing to watch you child have fun and not need to spend any money. Yet, we knew we would enjoy having some tokens to try out a few games. I even ended up spending quite a few tokens playing the basketball games and a few "jackpot" ticket games.
Calvin was enjoying watching all the kids and observing them playing. He enjoys being around older kids just like his older brother and I caught him laughing at a few kids as they passed by. Warmed my heart.
Sean came over to me about over half way through our stay and said how much fun he was having. I echoed his remark and told him how thankful that he was willing to go today.
Its a great thing this day. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. should be remembered for all his contributions to our country. It is interesting that even today several years later he is still inspiring families by allowing us a holiday to spend a weekday together enjoying each others company.
I look forward to next years MLK day. Maybe Chuck E. Cheese on this holiday will become a family tradition?? That would be fun!
Hope you all enjoyed your MLK holiday whether or not you got a day off or not. Hopefully, some of it was spent with some important people in your life.
I know mine was!
As we prepared the kids to go we dealt with packing up the truck with all the "stuff"you take with you when travel. After a little stress we were on our way. I was even a little grouchy as my husband questioned my "navigational" instructions.
We finally arrived and once we did I knew Clayton was going to have fun. It was interesting to watch him jump from game to game with no tokens yet having so much fun! Its a great thing to watch you child have fun and not need to spend any money. Yet, we knew we would enjoy having some tokens to try out a few games. I even ended up spending quite a few tokens playing the basketball games and a few "jackpot" ticket games.
Calvin was enjoying watching all the kids and observing them playing. He enjoys being around older kids just like his older brother and I caught him laughing at a few kids as they passed by. Warmed my heart.
Sean came over to me about over half way through our stay and said how much fun he was having. I echoed his remark and told him how thankful that he was willing to go today.
Its a great thing this day. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. should be remembered for all his contributions to our country. It is interesting that even today several years later he is still inspiring families by allowing us a holiday to spend a weekday together enjoying each others company.
I look forward to next years MLK day. Maybe Chuck E. Cheese on this holiday will become a family tradition?? That would be fun!
Hope you all enjoyed your MLK holiday whether or not you got a day off or not. Hopefully, some of it was spent with some important people in your life.
I know mine was!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Busy, busy day! - 1/14/10
Last night as my husband and I were talking before going to bed. I mentioned to him that I had been wrestling with the idea of going to a women's Bible study meeting today. As I explained to him what it was about and all the details I had so many reasons and excuses why I wasn't going to go. He was supportive like a good husband but mostly listened to me vent about my disappointment about having to leave our wonderful church in Omaha behind now almost 2 years ago. As I feel asleep last night I had completely decided that I would not go to church today to the Bible study. Little did I know what God had in store.
My oldest son woke up at 7:30 this morning. Never does he wake up that early because he enjoys sleeping in. (Love this about him!) As I was awaken this morning by him pounding on his wall with his feet in bed letting me know, "Hey, Mom wake up in there!" So, I pulled myself out of bed after getting about 6 or less hours of sleep and realized that I would have enough time to go to the meeting that started at 9:30am. So, here I was rushing around trying to get ready and feed my son waiting for my other one to wake up. Again, random that my youngest son decides to sleep in when he's my early riser! So, it gave me more time to focus on Clayton (my oldest). So, off we left the house at 9:06am for church. I was a bit nervous about what I was going to be getting myself into. Yet, God provided all the details for me to get to go. So, I went and it was definitely a good experience. It was an eye opener to see how much of a diversity of women came to the event. From early twenties all the way into people's sixties or even seventies? I have never seen anything like it. However, I was glad that God inspired me to get up and go reminding me to spend some time with Him on a daily basis something I struggle to do. It is so hard for me to discipline myself with life's "must do lists". I also need to start working on a frequent basis and being only blocks away from my gym with "free babysitting" at the gym I still manage to find excuses not to go. I try to take it a little easy on myself because my youngest is still nursing and is "extremely" attached to me which makes it hard for "other" people to know how to soothe him when he cries. Still, I thought about it on the way to church this morning that although it was exhausting running around to get them all packed away and out the door it was worth it in the end. So, I'm hoping I can turn a corner here and find a way to motivate myself to commit to following through on the most basic necessities in life.
First, spending a daily devotional time consistently with God. I know this will dramatically improve my whole world and I am truly embarassed to say that I struggle with this most basic principle of being a Christian.
Second, start going to gym more frequently.
Third, try to figure out how I can get my 8 month old to take naps so I can get some stuff done every now and then!
After church, we met Sean for lunch. We had been discussing going as a family to an award ceremony that he was asked to attend in Florida. Sean was a recipient of an award in his squadron and is a nominee for an annual award presented at this very same ceremony. After doing the math and all the logistically planning we decided that it was in our best interests not to go afterall. A little disappointing but at the same time for the benefit of our family in many aspects.
I then proceeded to take the boys home. Clayton for a nap and Calvin for well, not a nap.
Clayton finally woke up just in time for me to pack the kids away again for Sean's basketball game tonight.
After the game, I ran out to get us some supper because Sean had an early game and I didn't have a chance to prepare anything in time for us before leaving.
Got home from picking up some supper to a migrane headache. After passing out for a few hours to get enough energy to nurse my son to sleep I finally felt well enough to eat some supper and put up my blog.
It is a goal of mine to have 365 entries for this blog this year.
So, if you are wondering, "why if she is so sick is she up writing on this crazy blog?" Well, because its me attempting to make good on a goal I set for myself a week ago.
All this to say, it was a busy, busy day.
I look forward to tomorrow when I am hoping to either go to the gym or get a nap? Hmmmm, after today the "nap" sounds way too tempting!!!
I hope you all had a great day and I wish you a great Friday! :)
My oldest son woke up at 7:30 this morning. Never does he wake up that early because he enjoys sleeping in. (Love this about him!) As I was awaken this morning by him pounding on his wall with his feet in bed letting me know, "Hey, Mom wake up in there!" So, I pulled myself out of bed after getting about 6 or less hours of sleep and realized that I would have enough time to go to the meeting that started at 9:30am. So, here I was rushing around trying to get ready and feed my son waiting for my other one to wake up. Again, random that my youngest son decides to sleep in when he's my early riser! So, it gave me more time to focus on Clayton (my oldest). So, off we left the house at 9:06am for church. I was a bit nervous about what I was going to be getting myself into. Yet, God provided all the details for me to get to go. So, I went and it was definitely a good experience. It was an eye opener to see how much of a diversity of women came to the event. From early twenties all the way into people's sixties or even seventies? I have never seen anything like it. However, I was glad that God inspired me to get up and go reminding me to spend some time with Him on a daily basis something I struggle to do. It is so hard for me to discipline myself with life's "must do lists". I also need to start working on a frequent basis and being only blocks away from my gym with "free babysitting" at the gym I still manage to find excuses not to go. I try to take it a little easy on myself because my youngest is still nursing and is "extremely" attached to me which makes it hard for "other" people to know how to soothe him when he cries. Still, I thought about it on the way to church this morning that although it was exhausting running around to get them all packed away and out the door it was worth it in the end. So, I'm hoping I can turn a corner here and find a way to motivate myself to commit to following through on the most basic necessities in life.
First, spending a daily devotional time consistently with God. I know this will dramatically improve my whole world and I am truly embarassed to say that I struggle with this most basic principle of being a Christian.
Second, start going to gym more frequently.
Third, try to figure out how I can get my 8 month old to take naps so I can get some stuff done every now and then!
After church, we met Sean for lunch. We had been discussing going as a family to an award ceremony that he was asked to attend in Florida. Sean was a recipient of an award in his squadron and is a nominee for an annual award presented at this very same ceremony. After doing the math and all the logistically planning we decided that it was in our best interests not to go afterall. A little disappointing but at the same time for the benefit of our family in many aspects.
I then proceeded to take the boys home. Clayton for a nap and Calvin for well, not a nap.
Clayton finally woke up just in time for me to pack the kids away again for Sean's basketball game tonight.
After the game, I ran out to get us some supper because Sean had an early game and I didn't have a chance to prepare anything in time for us before leaving.
Got home from picking up some supper to a migrane headache. After passing out for a few hours to get enough energy to nurse my son to sleep I finally felt well enough to eat some supper and put up my blog.
It is a goal of mine to have 365 entries for this blog this year.
So, if you are wondering, "why if she is so sick is she up writing on this crazy blog?" Well, because its me attempting to make good on a goal I set for myself a week ago.
All this to say, it was a busy, busy day.
I look forward to tomorrow when I am hoping to either go to the gym or get a nap? Hmmmm, after today the "nap" sounds way too tempting!!!
I hope you all had a great day and I wish you a great Friday! :)
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Cleaning out the car! - 1/13/10
Well, I finally got one thing accomplished today that I have been meaning to do for weeks! I just can't get everything done when my youngest son does not like taking naps. As we speak he is upstairs screaming in his crib as I finished cleaning out the family vehicle (truck). Its crazy how gross and disgusting your vehicle can get when you allow your kids to eat in the family car. My oldest son has fun dropping his snacks once he's done eating them. Funny thing is, is that when he falls asleep holding a snack he will never let go of it until we pull it out of his hands. Crazy?? Anyway, after animal crackers, pepperidge farm gold fish crackers, popcorn and many other little crumbs have now been vacumned and cleaned out of my car. I know for most of you this is disgusting and have no idea how I have let it get this bad.
Well, when you get home from a destination and your kids are both sleeping in their car seats your first priority is to get them out of the car and in their beds. Once the kids are tucked away and in their beds you just fall exhausted in the couch and have no desire to get up and clean up the mess leftover from the trip. I have tried to get out to the garage and clean up these messes for weeks now but when you have a 8 month old baby clinging to you its hard to accomplish much. Its a huge weight lifted off my shoulders now seeing how organized, clean and replenished vehicle that we know and love.
I am going to try to make it a top and high priority to make sure I clean out our vehicle at least once a week. This will allow me to feel prepared and organized for our many family excursions. Plus, it leaves less for me to do all at once if I do it more frequently. This rings true of any household or domestic duty around my house.
I am hoping that I'm not the only parent out there that needs to clean her family vehicle out more often. I'm hoping that since we're still early into 2010 that I can be consistent in attempting to keep my above goal accomplished. If you are good at cleaning out your car frequently I applaud your efforts and could probably learn a lot from you. However, if you are like me and struggle with getting back out to the vehicle once inside the home maybe we both can pursue this new year with a determination to live more organized and prepared!!
Either way, my car is clean and I'm happy.
Now off to get my crying baby boy from what I was hoping would be a nice long nap.
Well, when you get home from a destination and your kids are both sleeping in their car seats your first priority is to get them out of the car and in their beds. Once the kids are tucked away and in their beds you just fall exhausted in the couch and have no desire to get up and clean up the mess leftover from the trip. I have tried to get out to the garage and clean up these messes for weeks now but when you have a 8 month old baby clinging to you its hard to accomplish much. Its a huge weight lifted off my shoulders now seeing how organized, clean and replenished vehicle that we know and love.
I am going to try to make it a top and high priority to make sure I clean out our vehicle at least once a week. This will allow me to feel prepared and organized for our many family excursions. Plus, it leaves less for me to do all at once if I do it more frequently. This rings true of any household or domestic duty around my house.
I am hoping that I'm not the only parent out there that needs to clean her family vehicle out more often. I'm hoping that since we're still early into 2010 that I can be consistent in attempting to keep my above goal accomplished. If you are good at cleaning out your car frequently I applaud your efforts and could probably learn a lot from you. However, if you are like me and struggle with getting back out to the vehicle once inside the home maybe we both can pursue this new year with a determination to live more organized and prepared!!
Either way, my car is clean and I'm happy.
Now off to get my crying baby boy from what I was hoping would be a nice long nap.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Mom can cook! - 1/12/10
Another day another supper to fix. I am learning better everyday how to plan my meals so that I can use up what we have in our pantry and freezer. My husband greatly appreciates this as he hates wasting food and excessive grocery shopping. A few years ago my husband bought me a small deep freeze and I have learned to buy meat in bulk to freeze. This allows me to plan my side dishes around the protein and ensure that I am able to prevent any grocery shopping outings alone with two kids.
I have to say how nice it was to be defrosting my beef roast this morning around 9:00am and then popped it in my dutch oven around 12:00. Its going to be nice and tender for my boys tonight for supper. I know that many of my friends work during the day and how exhausting it is to come up to all their Mommy duties plus cook a meal. Whether or not you choose to "Rachey Ray" it or just simply order out I know that sharing a meal with your family is the most important element to a nice evening home.
I think that some of my most treasured memories of growing up are the many meals that my Mom prepared for our family. I just last night made one of the casseroles that I fell in love with as a small child. It stayed with me all my life and was actually the first meal I made for Sean when we first started dating. I thought that he would make fun of me and hate it because it certainly is a "country" meal when you make a casserole. He is originally from the east coast and believe it or not where you are from in the U.S. will impact your everyday cuisine dramatically. He had never had a casserole before and thankfully, because my husband is not a "picky" eater he liked it a lot. And even last night commented on my facebook status about my supper preparations that it was "yummy". I always look over at Clayton while he eats a meal or anything I have specially prepared and get such a great feeling of accomplishment when he says, "mmmmm, yummy". It is such a heart-warming and inspiring feeling cooking for your family. Bringing nourishment to them both metaphorically and literally is such a beautiful accomplishment. I dreamed of this day when I would get to "cook" for my family and share that special time together around the dinner table. I'm never surprised when child psychologists or family therapists share that dysfunctional families usually do not eat together during the week and that families that do are happier and more successful.
This is a tradition and requirement that I am going to instill in my children. I know someday they will have basketball practice, a part-time job, or maybe (God forbid) a date, but they need to make time for their family. Whether its every night or even just a few nights a week I know how important this is and how it could/may change their lives forever so its worth enforcing!!!
Right now, I'm not having a problem with it. :)
I say all this to just share that no matter what you do or do not know what to cook its trivial compared to actually doing it. Your family appreciates it whether or not they always communicate it. Someday you may get a call from a established, independant, and potentially married son or daughter asking you for that recipe you didn't think was that special.
How moving would that be??
So, to all you Mom's out there. You "can" cook!!!! :)
And whatever you are cooking I'm sure it's going to be great!!
I have to say how nice it was to be defrosting my beef roast this morning around 9:00am and then popped it in my dutch oven around 12:00. Its going to be nice and tender for my boys tonight for supper. I know that many of my friends work during the day and how exhausting it is to come up to all their Mommy duties plus cook a meal. Whether or not you choose to "Rachey Ray" it or just simply order out I know that sharing a meal with your family is the most important element to a nice evening home.
I think that some of my most treasured memories of growing up are the many meals that my Mom prepared for our family. I just last night made one of the casseroles that I fell in love with as a small child. It stayed with me all my life and was actually the first meal I made for Sean when we first started dating. I thought that he would make fun of me and hate it because it certainly is a "country" meal when you make a casserole. He is originally from the east coast and believe it or not where you are from in the U.S. will impact your everyday cuisine dramatically. He had never had a casserole before and thankfully, because my husband is not a "picky" eater he liked it a lot. And even last night commented on my facebook status about my supper preparations that it was "yummy". I always look over at Clayton while he eats a meal or anything I have specially prepared and get such a great feeling of accomplishment when he says, "mmmmm, yummy". It is such a heart-warming and inspiring feeling cooking for your family. Bringing nourishment to them both metaphorically and literally is such a beautiful accomplishment. I dreamed of this day when I would get to "cook" for my family and share that special time together around the dinner table. I'm never surprised when child psychologists or family therapists share that dysfunctional families usually do not eat together during the week and that families that do are happier and more successful.
This is a tradition and requirement that I am going to instill in my children. I know someday they will have basketball practice, a part-time job, or maybe (God forbid) a date, but they need to make time for their family. Whether its every night or even just a few nights a week I know how important this is and how it could/may change their lives forever so its worth enforcing!!!
Right now, I'm not having a problem with it. :)
I say all this to just share that no matter what you do or do not know what to cook its trivial compared to actually doing it. Your family appreciates it whether or not they always communicate it. Someday you may get a call from a established, independant, and potentially married son or daughter asking you for that recipe you didn't think was that special.
How moving would that be??
So, to all you Mom's out there. You "can" cook!!!! :)
And whatever you are cooking I'm sure it's going to be great!!
Monday, January 11, 2010
A Beautiful Day - 1/11/10
Well, today I made a decision when I woke up. I decided to take my boys out on a nice day to a playground and pack a picnic lunch. Of course I had many reservations taking a trip out of the safe confines of my home. However, I knew it was going to be a nice day and that my oldest son Clayton would enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. So off we went once everyone had ate breakfast. As Clayton played and I packed the lunch I kept praying to God I wouldn't have any major disasters. Clayton running off somewhere or worse someone taking advantage of my vunerability having two kids. All the worse case scenarios of course go through my mind. I am a very bad worrying parent and I know that with my faith I know better. However, it doesn't mean that I can stop worrying about my most precious treasures in this world.
I have to say that the afternoon was a blessed one. God not only answered my prayers for a nice day with my boys but he overflowed my cup with joy. Watching Clayton play and interact with the other children today was so amazingly fun. I missed Sean of course seeing all the Dad's that were able to be there with their kids. However, I tried to forego those sad feelings and just live in the moment and enjoy watching my son have fun. He was happy, content, and so excited to be there. As we drove off he kept saying, "Mommy, stop, stop Mommy." And I had to turn around and tell him it was ok, that we would come back sometime this week. I am excited for us to go back and hopefully, he will continue to improve his behavior in public so that I am more confident about taking him out more often.
I get so scared about the obvious obstacles of taking him out. But, I think right now its the potty training that is one of my top issues. Sean and I had a horrible incident with Clayton at Walgreen's one night. Clayton had a terrible accident involving number two and I know for a fact if Sean wouldn't of been there I might have called an ambulance. It was horrible. If something like that happened while I had both of the kids by myself, I'm not sure 911 wouldn't receive a phone call.
You think it funny or a little absurb for me to involve an emergency phone call with a toddlers lack of control but you weren't at Walgreen's that night. It was seriously a travesty of huge proportions! Plus, the Police get so many calls involving domestic situations that should not be considered emergencies I wouldn't think my situation any less important. I watched COPS one night on tv for lack of any other interesting entertainment options and saw a COP go into a trailer to calm down a couple who had gotten into a fight. The girl had thrown a cheeseburger at the guy and he called 911. Ok, so now does my scenario seem so trivial?
Anyway, all this to be said, that I'm learning to establish myself as a Mom who can handle two kids out in public with no help. I have to say though, that a lot of people who see me have always offerred to hold a door, or open one for me when I'm out and I can not tell you how much that means. If you are ever out and see a Mom struggling like me trying to juggle a infant and a toddler. Offer a helping hand and see how grateful that woman is. I can say this with great confidence because it will probably be me!
I hope you all had a great and wonderful day. I know its Monday but I have learned that we must be thankful for each day we are given. No matter the tedious and mundane duties we all perform so routinely on a Monday, each day is still a gift from God. I hope that when someday I go to heaven I can share with God that I did my best to make the most of each day and how thankful I was for each one He gave me.
Have a great rest of your week!
N
I have to say that the afternoon was a blessed one. God not only answered my prayers for a nice day with my boys but he overflowed my cup with joy. Watching Clayton play and interact with the other children today was so amazingly fun. I missed Sean of course seeing all the Dad's that were able to be there with their kids. However, I tried to forego those sad feelings and just live in the moment and enjoy watching my son have fun. He was happy, content, and so excited to be there. As we drove off he kept saying, "Mommy, stop, stop Mommy." And I had to turn around and tell him it was ok, that we would come back sometime this week. I am excited for us to go back and hopefully, he will continue to improve his behavior in public so that I am more confident about taking him out more often.
I get so scared about the obvious obstacles of taking him out. But, I think right now its the potty training that is one of my top issues. Sean and I had a horrible incident with Clayton at Walgreen's one night. Clayton had a terrible accident involving number two and I know for a fact if Sean wouldn't of been there I might have called an ambulance. It was horrible. If something like that happened while I had both of the kids by myself, I'm not sure 911 wouldn't receive a phone call.
You think it funny or a little absurb for me to involve an emergency phone call with a toddlers lack of control but you weren't at Walgreen's that night. It was seriously a travesty of huge proportions! Plus, the Police get so many calls involving domestic situations that should not be considered emergencies I wouldn't think my situation any less important. I watched COPS one night on tv for lack of any other interesting entertainment options and saw a COP go into a trailer to calm down a couple who had gotten into a fight. The girl had thrown a cheeseburger at the guy and he called 911. Ok, so now does my scenario seem so trivial?
Anyway, all this to be said, that I'm learning to establish myself as a Mom who can handle two kids out in public with no help. I have to say though, that a lot of people who see me have always offerred to hold a door, or open one for me when I'm out and I can not tell you how much that means. If you are ever out and see a Mom struggling like me trying to juggle a infant and a toddler. Offer a helping hand and see how grateful that woman is. I can say this with great confidence because it will probably be me!
I hope you all had a great and wonderful day. I know its Monday but I have learned that we must be thankful for each day we are given. No matter the tedious and mundane duties we all perform so routinely on a Monday, each day is still a gift from God. I hope that when someday I go to heaven I can share with God that I did my best to make the most of each day and how thankful I was for each one He gave me.
Have a great rest of your week!
N
Friday, January 8, 2010
Another Day in the Life - 1/8/10
Today is Friday and I just now at 11:08pm am getting a chance to finish my blog for the day. It was a day filled with lots of busy household duties. Three loads of laundry, dishes, and a lot of cleaning up after the kids I finally have for today fulfilled my Mommy duties. And I gotta say it feels good.
My husband has had a very heavy work load this week. So that made my week a little heavier as well. Having him come home an hour or more late from work made my schedule a lot more complicated also. I feel bad for him knowing that he was given some serious tasks to undertake this week causing him to stay late and go early. Stress is a life long battle that we must all take part in fighting but the good news is is that when its all said and done its temporary. If stress was a permanent fixture in our lives I'm not sure how our mental state would maintain any healthy status.
There are days where everything goes well and life is simple. And those are the days we hold most dear and precious. There is an old movie of Tom Cruise's that I like to quote for this same reason. I don't like the movie but I like the quote from his movie Vanilla Sky, "The bitter makes the sweet, sweeter." I made not be quoting it verbatim but its close. I think we can all understand the simplicity of this truth. That the hard things we experience in life make the beautiful blessings we share all that more amazing.
I lost my parents early in life. My mother at the age of 18 and my Father when I was 26. Many people feel sorry for me and give me their sympathetic responses as if "I" am to be pitied. I feel the opposite way. Given time to really contemplate seriously the loss I have endured yes, it has been sincerely difficult to live life with out the parents God gave me. However, being adopted at age one and a half I have to say I feel more privileged that a majority of society knowing I was given such a treasure in becoming a part of their family. I am not sure, I can only hope, that I would appreciate my parents today as much as I do now that they are gone. However, I do know for a fact that the gratitude I feel today is truly immeasurable.
I'm not sure where any of you are in your lives. Whether you're single or married. Kids or no kids. I just want to say that there is something in all of our lives that we're struggling with today. Some area of weakness or frustration that we face daily. I know for me that 2010 has brought me to think deeply of my own. That I put so much energy falsely into trying to present a "strong" image of who I am. I'm not sure if its necessarily "society" that has taught me to hold a mask up to the average acquaintance in my life but maybe just my prideful ways. Deep in my heart this year I want to allow people into my life seeing more of the "real" me. The good, the bad and the ugly as some would say. My inspiration behind this is not just the "time" of year but rather a lot of circumstantial developments in the lives of those I love and care for. I don't want people to feel like they need to "hide" their pain or realities from me. I would rather be that "shoulder" to cry on, that "ear" to listen, those arms to hold someone during a really difficult time. People in my life will never totally feel comfortable to do so unless I first allow myself to do the same. It leaves me vunerable and open to judgment and/or potential gossips. At this point, its all meaningless to me if I'm not willing to sacrifice first my own insecurities and pride. To anyone tonight or tomorrow reading this, I say, "I Natasha am far from perfect!" Let it be screamed across the worldwide web. "I have issues!" "I struggle everyday!"
Let me start today by saying how dearly I miss home. Most of you reading any facebook statuses I have written in the past year are probably sick of hearing about it. But, this homesick ache in my heart is the cause for much of the stress in my life. Between my husband and I to my dear children. I am hoping that the next time we move that no matter if its closer or farther away from my extended family and friends that what I'm learning and growing from now will benefit me then. I can't hold my breath thinking that in two years I'll move back to Omaha and everything will be back to normal. My reality is I don't know when I'm moving. I don't know where. Or for how long we'll be there. If I'll have any friends there or anyone I can feel comfortable watching my children if ever I need some help. All I know is that God is good. He is sovereign over all my circumstances in my life. And I need to trust in Him. I don't always. I struggle each day with it. The good news is that He loves me anyway regardless of my flaws and many, many shortcomings.
I hope that if there is anyone out there that is hurting tonight. Anyone experiencing something hard in your life. That after reading this you can take heart knowing, "you're not alone." "I'm here with you." And, if you want to walk this journey together. Physically or virtually....."I'm here." And I always will be. - (Of course, this is quoted first by God, and then I'm echooing Him as instructed by scripture to do.) -
Proverbs 27:17 - "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
Galations 6:2 - "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
Good night & God Bless You.
N
My husband has had a very heavy work load this week. So that made my week a little heavier as well. Having him come home an hour or more late from work made my schedule a lot more complicated also. I feel bad for him knowing that he was given some serious tasks to undertake this week causing him to stay late and go early. Stress is a life long battle that we must all take part in fighting but the good news is is that when its all said and done its temporary. If stress was a permanent fixture in our lives I'm not sure how our mental state would maintain any healthy status.
There are days where everything goes well and life is simple. And those are the days we hold most dear and precious. There is an old movie of Tom Cruise's that I like to quote for this same reason. I don't like the movie but I like the quote from his movie Vanilla Sky, "The bitter makes the sweet, sweeter." I made not be quoting it verbatim but its close. I think we can all understand the simplicity of this truth. That the hard things we experience in life make the beautiful blessings we share all that more amazing.
I lost my parents early in life. My mother at the age of 18 and my Father when I was 26. Many people feel sorry for me and give me their sympathetic responses as if "I" am to be pitied. I feel the opposite way. Given time to really contemplate seriously the loss I have endured yes, it has been sincerely difficult to live life with out the parents God gave me. However, being adopted at age one and a half I have to say I feel more privileged that a majority of society knowing I was given such a treasure in becoming a part of their family. I am not sure, I can only hope, that I would appreciate my parents today as much as I do now that they are gone. However, I do know for a fact that the gratitude I feel today is truly immeasurable.
I'm not sure where any of you are in your lives. Whether you're single or married. Kids or no kids. I just want to say that there is something in all of our lives that we're struggling with today. Some area of weakness or frustration that we face daily. I know for me that 2010 has brought me to think deeply of my own. That I put so much energy falsely into trying to present a "strong" image of who I am. I'm not sure if its necessarily "society" that has taught me to hold a mask up to the average acquaintance in my life but maybe just my prideful ways. Deep in my heart this year I want to allow people into my life seeing more of the "real" me. The good, the bad and the ugly as some would say. My inspiration behind this is not just the "time" of year but rather a lot of circumstantial developments in the lives of those I love and care for. I don't want people to feel like they need to "hide" their pain or realities from me. I would rather be that "shoulder" to cry on, that "ear" to listen, those arms to hold someone during a really difficult time. People in my life will never totally feel comfortable to do so unless I first allow myself to do the same. It leaves me vunerable and open to judgment and/or potential gossips. At this point, its all meaningless to me if I'm not willing to sacrifice first my own insecurities and pride. To anyone tonight or tomorrow reading this, I say, "I Natasha am far from perfect!" Let it be screamed across the worldwide web. "I have issues!" "I struggle everyday!"
Let me start today by saying how dearly I miss home. Most of you reading any facebook statuses I have written in the past year are probably sick of hearing about it. But, this homesick ache in my heart is the cause for much of the stress in my life. Between my husband and I to my dear children. I am hoping that the next time we move that no matter if its closer or farther away from my extended family and friends that what I'm learning and growing from now will benefit me then. I can't hold my breath thinking that in two years I'll move back to Omaha and everything will be back to normal. My reality is I don't know when I'm moving. I don't know where. Or for how long we'll be there. If I'll have any friends there or anyone I can feel comfortable watching my children if ever I need some help. All I know is that God is good. He is sovereign over all my circumstances in my life. And I need to trust in Him. I don't always. I struggle each day with it. The good news is that He loves me anyway regardless of my flaws and many, many shortcomings.
I hope that if there is anyone out there that is hurting tonight. Anyone experiencing something hard in your life. That after reading this you can take heart knowing, "you're not alone." "I'm here with you." And, if you want to walk this journey together. Physically or virtually....."I'm here." And I always will be. - (Of course, this is quoted first by God, and then I'm echooing Him as instructed by scripture to do.) -
Proverbs 27:17 - "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
Galations 6:2 - "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
Good night & God Bless You.
N
Thursday, January 7, 2010
1/7/10 - Dealing with the mental and emotional strains
Well, today is another busy day in the Kerrigan household. Clayton woke up with a lot of attitude. I always dread these days. They are usually filled with a lot of "back talk" and this means I have two choices. I can either give in to his constant demands of having "his" way or I can stand up to him and say "no". The saying "no" option is usually what I choose but when I make this decision I need to be prepared for the worst. A lot of crying is expected along with a few tantrums sprinkled with a lot of time outs and unfortunate spanking. Yes, I said spanking. I know many of you out there do not agree with this form of discipline. To all of you I must simply say, as parents can anyone of us know how to be a "perfect" parent. Over the last 2 and a half years that I have been a parent the one thing that stands out to me is that sometimes I don't have all the answers. At some point I just have to decide that what I'm doing is the best I know how. This isn't a defeated answer but rather a choice to surrender all insecurities. God gave me these children He knows me better than anyone in this world. He must of saw something in me to believe me worthy of these special people. So, for the next several years that they are in my care I'm going to do my best to mold these little lives into "men" of God. I can only hope and pray for the greatest success possible in my efforts to accomplish this.
Clayton continued to have a hard day up until his nap time. As he lay in his bed screaming at the top of his lungs, hyperventilating in disgust that I would dare tell him he needed a nap. I held him in my arms kissing his forehead saying "its ok" and praying to God asking Him to help Clayton have a good & restful nap. As I left the room I took a deep breath and shrugged my shoulders feeling exhausted after fighting the good fight. Its so hard sometimes to tell you kids no. Tell them they need a nap. Instructing them to go to time out. Its mentally exhausting and emotionally draining. In my heart I just want my kids to be happy. I want to make them happy all the time. I have that instinctually desire to do that because I love them so much. I also know though that they need structure and rules. We all do. So with my attempt to balance the good with the bad I have to be unwaivering in my pursuit to demand respect from my 2 yr old (almost 3) son. Once he learns that his Father and I make the rules the better. Although, if any of you understand a strong-willed spirit you know that this isn't easy or a quick process. I can't quit or look for an easier solution. I have to continue to push forward knowing this road is going to be rough but in the end worth the journey.
My parents took the same road with me. I was a strong-willed child always pushing the envelope as well. So, in a lot of ways, its just poetic justice that my first born would be so similar to me. I eventually learned that obedience is better than sacrifice. So, that gives me a glimmer of hope when it comes to my son Clayton.
In the meantime, through all my 2 yr old drama today I was being beckoned by my 8 mth old. So, its been a challenging day to say the least.
The wonderful thing and the most encouraging through all that I endured this morning and afternoon is that I absolutely love my job. I love these children more than life itself. Often my prayer requests are focused on when they are grown and teenagers. I prepare for the day that they leave the house and I am left with the emptiness left by their lack of presence. I am told frequently to appreciate these days because they go so fast. I completely agree with that. I'm trying to remember that through all the stress and emotional rollercoasters. I know that these days are precious and I thank God for all the hugs, kisses, and "Mommy, I love you's" I can get! They make all my hard work worth it and I'd do it a hundred thousand million times over again for each of them.
For they are "fearfully and wonderfully made"...........
Clayton continued to have a hard day up until his nap time. As he lay in his bed screaming at the top of his lungs, hyperventilating in disgust that I would dare tell him he needed a nap. I held him in my arms kissing his forehead saying "its ok" and praying to God asking Him to help Clayton have a good & restful nap. As I left the room I took a deep breath and shrugged my shoulders feeling exhausted after fighting the good fight. Its so hard sometimes to tell you kids no. Tell them they need a nap. Instructing them to go to time out. Its mentally exhausting and emotionally draining. In my heart I just want my kids to be happy. I want to make them happy all the time. I have that instinctually desire to do that because I love them so much. I also know though that they need structure and rules. We all do. So with my attempt to balance the good with the bad I have to be unwaivering in my pursuit to demand respect from my 2 yr old (almost 3) son. Once he learns that his Father and I make the rules the better. Although, if any of you understand a strong-willed spirit you know that this isn't easy or a quick process. I can't quit or look for an easier solution. I have to continue to push forward knowing this road is going to be rough but in the end worth the journey.
My parents took the same road with me. I was a strong-willed child always pushing the envelope as well. So, in a lot of ways, its just poetic justice that my first born would be so similar to me. I eventually learned that obedience is better than sacrifice. So, that gives me a glimmer of hope when it comes to my son Clayton.
In the meantime, through all my 2 yr old drama today I was being beckoned by my 8 mth old. So, its been a challenging day to say the least.
The wonderful thing and the most encouraging through all that I endured this morning and afternoon is that I absolutely love my job. I love these children more than life itself. Often my prayer requests are focused on when they are grown and teenagers. I prepare for the day that they leave the house and I am left with the emptiness left by their lack of presence. I am told frequently to appreciate these days because they go so fast. I completely agree with that. I'm trying to remember that through all the stress and emotional rollercoasters. I know that these days are precious and I thank God for all the hugs, kisses, and "Mommy, I love you's" I can get! They make all my hard work worth it and I'd do it a hundred thousand million times over again for each of them.
For they are "fearfully and wonderfully made"...........
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
1/6/10 - Lessons Learned
Well, today has certainly been an "off" day. Woke up thinking that I was going to get ahead of the game and shower before the boys woke up. I have a "routine" like most Moms in the morning. Mine includes turning the shower on while I brush my teeth so that the water is nice and warm when I jump in. This morning as I opened the door to the shower I noticed I didn't feel any hot steam? I then proceeded to feel the water only to find the water was "ice" cold. I let it run a few more minutes with no change. I didn't know what the problem was but my husband had mentioned a few days earlier that he thought the water temperature was up too hot. I told him I liked it that hot because when I wash dishes I like it to be "burning" hot. For sanitation purposes and I always wear gloves when I wash dishes here because of the "dry" climate it saves on my hands. Anyway, I run downstairs in my bathrobe to find he had turned the water heater to "VACATION" mode which means throughout the whole house was less than luke warm water. I had a choice to make. No shower and feel grimey the whole day or take a leap into the cold water. I chose the latter and definitely paid the "COLD" price to do so. I will certainly have to have a serious discussion with my husband about temperature selection on the hot water heater when he gets home from work.
In the meantime, I noticed that Clayton hadn't woke up yet and he usually does so during my shower. And since there was drama with that whole process I figured I would be long overdue my Clayton countdown. I listened at his door and heard nothing. So I looked on his video monitor to find him in bed "tucked" in still. Very unusual. Calvin was awake so I took him downstairs and fed him. Clayton still not awake I chose to make him some blueberry muffins to give him a warm breakfast since today I had time. It was almost 10:30 when I finally heard he was awake. I go into his room to see him laying on his Lightning McQueen couch. He seemed a little groggy but I figured that it was normal for sleeping too long. I took him downstairs and he kept telling me how much he wanted breakfast and juice. So, after a bathroom break and change of clothes I gave him his breakfast. He is always going into the refrigerator getting his desired preferences for the day. Anyway, his choice of SIMPLE lemonade (one of his and my favorites) and DANNON YOGURT smoothie I took him to the table. He got a muffin and I went to grab the crying baby in the living room. I sat down to nurse Calvin again and had Clayton crying at the table pointing to his lip. I didn't get it until a few seconds later, he threw up. It was projectile vomit. I felt so bad for him but he has been known to do this when he sleeps in. I have no idea the correlation of the two but either way, I had a lot of vomit to clean up.
Thankfully, when he does this he usually feels better and has a normal day.
After receiving the specific instructions from Clayton on where and how to clean up the "spill" I was told "thank you" and that he wanted more muffin. Always a good sign when he vomits like this that he wants to eat.
I'm not your typical Mom when it comes to bodily fluids/solids. I get super grossed out by stuff like poopie diapers and vomit. So I was very thankful to myself for buying lots of gloves for occasions like this. I was shaking as I cleaned up the several puddles of vomit and was trying not to breathe in the fragrance that accompanies such fluid. Anyway, while doing this I was having Clayton ask me for things and almost walking in it a few times as well as Calvin crying because he wanted to be fed.
So often a Mom's day is full of these hiccups or speed bumps. You push forward and get through trying your best to keep your sanity. It is such a challenge for me personally to juggle Clayton and Calvin's needs. Feels like once you have your second child you should have 4 arms and legs. So that you can be in two places at once and doing two things at one time.
I'm learning a lot of things about how to balance two kids. I keep thinking about how Sean and I would love to have a little girl someday. And with me being 33 I want to do it probably sooner than later. I get so anxious when I'm pregnant no matter if I was this age or not. Having a baby grow inside you is such a fragile and vunerable experience. You can not take anything for granted. Every day, week and month is a blessing and like every woman will echo me when I say this, "A healthy child is a miraculous blessing".
For all you Moms out there with more than two children close in age, I applaud you. I have the greatest respect for your ability to time manage, and distribute your attention and love the best you can with all of your children. Everyday I'm learning better how to do so. With some failures and slip ups along the way I'm realizing this Motherhood thing is not a truly a myriad of lessons to be learned.
Blessings to all of you for all the lessons you are learning in your current situation or circumstances. I know I'm going to be a student for life!
In the meantime, I noticed that Clayton hadn't woke up yet and he usually does so during my shower. And since there was drama with that whole process I figured I would be long overdue my Clayton countdown. I listened at his door and heard nothing. So I looked on his video monitor to find him in bed "tucked" in still. Very unusual. Calvin was awake so I took him downstairs and fed him. Clayton still not awake I chose to make him some blueberry muffins to give him a warm breakfast since today I had time. It was almost 10:30 when I finally heard he was awake. I go into his room to see him laying on his Lightning McQueen couch. He seemed a little groggy but I figured that it was normal for sleeping too long. I took him downstairs and he kept telling me how much he wanted breakfast and juice. So, after a bathroom break and change of clothes I gave him his breakfast. He is always going into the refrigerator getting his desired preferences for the day. Anyway, his choice of SIMPLE lemonade (one of his and my favorites) and DANNON YOGURT smoothie I took him to the table. He got a muffin and I went to grab the crying baby in the living room. I sat down to nurse Calvin again and had Clayton crying at the table pointing to his lip. I didn't get it until a few seconds later, he threw up. It was projectile vomit. I felt so bad for him but he has been known to do this when he sleeps in. I have no idea the correlation of the two but either way, I had a lot of vomit to clean up.
Thankfully, when he does this he usually feels better and has a normal day.
After receiving the specific instructions from Clayton on where and how to clean up the "spill" I was told "thank you" and that he wanted more muffin. Always a good sign when he vomits like this that he wants to eat.
I'm not your typical Mom when it comes to bodily fluids/solids. I get super grossed out by stuff like poopie diapers and vomit. So I was very thankful to myself for buying lots of gloves for occasions like this. I was shaking as I cleaned up the several puddles of vomit and was trying not to breathe in the fragrance that accompanies such fluid. Anyway, while doing this I was having Clayton ask me for things and almost walking in it a few times as well as Calvin crying because he wanted to be fed.
So often a Mom's day is full of these hiccups or speed bumps. You push forward and get through trying your best to keep your sanity. It is such a challenge for me personally to juggle Clayton and Calvin's needs. Feels like once you have your second child you should have 4 arms and legs. So that you can be in two places at once and doing two things at one time.
I'm learning a lot of things about how to balance two kids. I keep thinking about how Sean and I would love to have a little girl someday. And with me being 33 I want to do it probably sooner than later. I get so anxious when I'm pregnant no matter if I was this age or not. Having a baby grow inside you is such a fragile and vunerable experience. You can not take anything for granted. Every day, week and month is a blessing and like every woman will echo me when I say this, "A healthy child is a miraculous blessing".
For all you Moms out there with more than two children close in age, I applaud you. I have the greatest respect for your ability to time manage, and distribute your attention and love the best you can with all of your children. Everyday I'm learning better how to do so. With some failures and slip ups along the way I'm realizing this Motherhood thing is not a truly a myriad of lessons to be learned.
Blessings to all of you for all the lessons you are learning in your current situation or circumstances. I know I'm going to be a student for life!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
1/5/10 - Venturing Out
Well, its Tuesday and almost 60 degrees today here in Las Vegas. One of the benefits of living here is a mild winter. I have gotten a lot of feedback from my friends and family in Nebraska about all the snow they have gotten this winter. My own family experienced their "first" snowed in Christmas in the history of our family's Christmases. I only got to hear about it via phone as I was not able to return home for this years Christmas season. A huge disappointment but after hearing and seeing all that they endured I know God helped us make that decision for a good reason. On Christmas Eve my oldest Sister had 19 people in her house overnight. Her house thankfully is very good sized but even with a large house 19 people overnight is a big number.
I miss winter though. A lot of people I talk to out here say they don't understand what I'm talking about. They don't like the "hot" weather out here but appreciate the "lack" of snow living in the desert. I grew up in a 4 season state so I'm used to it. I like wearing coats, sweaters, and enjoying cozy cold nights at home. I definitely understand the lack of "windchill" is a benefit but I think I would be willing to endure the "cold" to enjoy the wonderful spring, summer and fall seasons that we miss out here. I just saw on the news out here that we had 72 days of over 100 degree weather out here in 2009 and only 4 days of less than 32 degrees. Not sure how the rest of you feel about cold but over a 100 degrees is hot!
I am going to take my boys out sometime today. I haven't decided exactly when but probably this morning. My truck needs an oil change badly and I wanted to pick up a new movie for Clayton. He loves to cook and enjoys food just like any 2 year old so I thought he would like to see "Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs". It seems like a weird movie but a lot of people I know with small kids took them to the theater to see it so I'm assuming it is a "kid-friendly" movie. I appreciate renting movies and watching them at home versus running after Clayton all around a movie theater. Its cheaper and less stressful on me!
I am hoping that venturing out with the boys today is not a bad idea but rather a good one.
Either way, I've got to learn someday how to juggle them both alone because I know a deployment will be in my future someday and I'll be forced to do learn. I'd rather prepare myself and learn now than later.
Hope that the rest of you out there whether at home or work have a great day and no matter the weather you are experiencing enjoy venturing out with your small ones.
~N
I miss winter though. A lot of people I talk to out here say they don't understand what I'm talking about. They don't like the "hot" weather out here but appreciate the "lack" of snow living in the desert. I grew up in a 4 season state so I'm used to it. I like wearing coats, sweaters, and enjoying cozy cold nights at home. I definitely understand the lack of "windchill" is a benefit but I think I would be willing to endure the "cold" to enjoy the wonderful spring, summer and fall seasons that we miss out here. I just saw on the news out here that we had 72 days of over 100 degree weather out here in 2009 and only 4 days of less than 32 degrees. Not sure how the rest of you feel about cold but over a 100 degrees is hot!
I am going to take my boys out sometime today. I haven't decided exactly when but probably this morning. My truck needs an oil change badly and I wanted to pick up a new movie for Clayton. He loves to cook and enjoys food just like any 2 year old so I thought he would like to see "Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs". It seems like a weird movie but a lot of people I know with small kids took them to the theater to see it so I'm assuming it is a "kid-friendly" movie. I appreciate renting movies and watching them at home versus running after Clayton all around a movie theater. Its cheaper and less stressful on me!
I am hoping that venturing out with the boys today is not a bad idea but rather a good one.
Either way, I've got to learn someday how to juggle them both alone because I know a deployment will be in my future someday and I'll be forced to do learn. I'd rather prepare myself and learn now than later.
Hope that the rest of you out there whether at home or work have a great day and no matter the weather you are experiencing enjoy venturing out with your small ones.
~N
Reminiscing about my old work versus my new work
I was thinking about my past life as a Account Executive for wholesale lending financial banks a few years ago. As I was preparing breakfast for my 2 year old this morning with my eyes stinging from not getting enough sleep last night. I remembered this same feeling as I would get ready for work when I was single. I remember getting my business suit or outfit ready and jumping in my car ready for a long day out and about traveling from brokerage to brokerage. It was a lonely day for me. I talked to people all day but spent a majority of it alone driving. I think that is why I don't miss my old job at all and why it was not a hard decision for me to leave it behind once becoming a Mom. The stress I endured from all my clients, my staff, and my boss made it very easy to walk away as well. I remember it being 7pm at night and I answering my cell phone for a client only to hear a lot of profanity and yelling. My fiance' at the time (now my husband) sitting beside me telling me to just hang up. After finishing the phone call almost 45 minutes later he asked me why I had continued speaking to him after his treatment of me. I responded only to tell him that he was a very good client and that in order to keep him happy I knew that this is something he was known for doing.
Yesterday I wrote that if I worked outside the home that I know I would get home only to give my kids my "leftover" attention and energies. I hope by outlining a very small fraction of what I endured at my last full-time job. I did not want anyone to read that statement and become offended as someone who wrote me privately did. I apologize publicly to anyone who read this also and was angry with my own personal reflection. I will never write anything on this blog about anyone but myself and my own life. I never would want someone to think I'm judging others or other people's situations in regards to Motherhood or anything else.
I know everyone must make the best decision for their kids. And I respect everyone's feelings and opinions I hope that if or when you read my entries you understand this is a very "personal" blog. I do not write based on how I feel about others circumstances.
I hope this is a good preface for others for making their decision on whether or not to continue reading my entries.
With that being said, I welcome any and all comments hoping to get some good "Mom" feedback. I for one always appreciate good Mom dialogues. In fact, I live to read or hear it!
Yesterday I wrote that if I worked outside the home that I know I would get home only to give my kids my "leftover" attention and energies. I hope by outlining a very small fraction of what I endured at my last full-time job. I did not want anyone to read that statement and become offended as someone who wrote me privately did. I apologize publicly to anyone who read this also and was angry with my own personal reflection. I will never write anything on this blog about anyone but myself and my own life. I never would want someone to think I'm judging others or other people's situations in regards to Motherhood or anything else.
I know everyone must make the best decision for their kids. And I respect everyone's feelings and opinions I hope that if or when you read my entries you understand this is a very "personal" blog. I do not write based on how I feel about others circumstances.
I hope this is a good preface for others for making their decision on whether or not to continue reading my entries.
With that being said, I welcome any and all comments hoping to get some good "Mom" feedback. I for one always appreciate good Mom dialogues. In fact, I live to read or hear it!
Monday, January 4, 2010
January 4, 2010 - Back to Reality
So today we have officially returned to "everyday" normal life. My husband is in the military which meant that he got to have a nice break and light schedule for the past few weeks with the Christmas and New Year holidays. It was so nice to have him home and I think he understood better what its like to be home with the two kids on a daily basis. What I go through and how I cope with all the housework, dishes, laundry, food preparation, etc. I ran a lot of holiday errands while he was here because it seems almost impossible to get any shopping done with two kids. Either one is hungry or the other needs to go to the bathroom every 30/40 minutes to prevent any accidents. My oldest son is two and a half and we just finished potty training. Now that he knows what to do we just need to keep reminding him to go. Just a constant interruptions which makes it hard to accomplish anything without a lot of stress.
I'm still nursing my almost 8 month old baby. It makes it hard to control my 2 year old while attending to the baby's needs. I want to nurse him as long as I am able but it makes me want to wean earlier because of this challenge.
My biggest frustration above all right now is the fact that my 8 month old does not take good naps. He started this a few weeks ago. The longest his naps during the day is a little less than an hour. He isn't too grouchy without a nap but what makes it hard is getting anything else accomplished. I have been told by other Mom's that they think a "clean" house should take second priority over attending to your children. It's a slippery slope I think because my kids need to understand that cleaning is an important part of responsibility. If I just put it by the wayside things will never get done thus a very "messy" and "disorganized" house. I need to teach my sons that cleaning is an important part of life. I'm hoping that as the rest of Calvin's teeth come in that he will start taking better naps. My oldest son enjoys his naps and takes very good naps. Has since he was just a little baby. Just proves to me all the more how different all your children are going to be.
Being a stay at home Mom is a blessing. I am so glad that I get to snuggle and cuddle my boys as much as I can during the day. And not be behind a desk or in an office thinking of them missing them like crazy. Getting home from a long day and giving them my "leftover" energy and attention. If someday I am forced to return to the workforce premature my plans due to financial need I will look back to these days and thank God all the more for this privilege and blessing. I only say my frustrations because that's life, and the reality of being a Mom. They are not complaints just truths that create a bigger challenge to my role as a Mom.
I hope that the rest of you had a good day. And that if you can relate at all to my first day back to the "norm" of 2010 you feel better knowing somewhere out there you can relate to someone. I know it always makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one.
Best wishes to the rest of you Stay at Home Moms (SAHMS)
I'm still nursing my almost 8 month old baby. It makes it hard to control my 2 year old while attending to the baby's needs. I want to nurse him as long as I am able but it makes me want to wean earlier because of this challenge.
My biggest frustration above all right now is the fact that my 8 month old does not take good naps. He started this a few weeks ago. The longest his naps during the day is a little less than an hour. He isn't too grouchy without a nap but what makes it hard is getting anything else accomplished. I have been told by other Mom's that they think a "clean" house should take second priority over attending to your children. It's a slippery slope I think because my kids need to understand that cleaning is an important part of responsibility. If I just put it by the wayside things will never get done thus a very "messy" and "disorganized" house. I need to teach my sons that cleaning is an important part of life. I'm hoping that as the rest of Calvin's teeth come in that he will start taking better naps. My oldest son enjoys his naps and takes very good naps. Has since he was just a little baby. Just proves to me all the more how different all your children are going to be.
Being a stay at home Mom is a blessing. I am so glad that I get to snuggle and cuddle my boys as much as I can during the day. And not be behind a desk or in an office thinking of them missing them like crazy. Getting home from a long day and giving them my "leftover" energy and attention. If someday I am forced to return to the workforce premature my plans due to financial need I will look back to these days and thank God all the more for this privilege and blessing. I only say my frustrations because that's life, and the reality of being a Mom. They are not complaints just truths that create a bigger challenge to my role as a Mom.
I hope that the rest of you had a good day. And that if you can relate at all to my first day back to the "norm" of 2010 you feel better knowing somewhere out there you can relate to someone. I know it always makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one.
Best wishes to the rest of you Stay at Home Moms (SAHMS)
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