An emotional visit to McDonalds - 7/26/10

On Saturday we were supposed to meet with a potential baby sitter for my birthday this Friday. The normal girl that we use was unable to do it due to her professional working schedule. The girl ended up being a "no-show" which wasn't ideal but we made the most of out of it by going to SAMS Club for their sampling hour. It was so much fun. We enjoyed so many fun samples along with the boys getting to eat different things to their hearts content. It was so gratifying that their favorite samples were "healthy". They loved the fruit and the V8 Fruit Juice. Afterward, we took the boys to McDonalds as I had been promising to take Clayton their to their playplace for a few days. Its so hard for me to take them by myself because they usually run into two different directions and it becomes too stressful for me to handle on my own. If Calvin were older it wouldn't be a big deal because they could go and do the same things but because he is so small I can't let him climb the "big kids" side for fear he is going to get "trampled!"

So anyway, as we sat there as a family amongst a very "busy and loud" birthday part that was taking place at the same time. I didn't know they did birthday parties at McDonald's play places but I learned that day Saturday afternoon isn't the best time to go for a easy going play time. Clayton though, had a blast playing with all the kids and enjoying running around inside an air conditioned area! My husband and I sat there and enjoyed seeing our boys having fun. Its times like these that I thank God so much for what blessings and gifts He has given to us. There is no greater joy in my life than to see my children happy. As I looked around I noticed that there was a couple with a twenty-something down-syndrome young man. I smiled at the couple and the young man. I hoped that he was having fun sitting around watching all the kids get crazy and be loud. I took Clayton to the bathroom and came back to see that the young man was trying to get up the play place play area against the wishes of the couple who seemed to be watching him as they seemed too young to be his parents. Sean shared with me that the couple had been trying for sometime now since I had been gone to convince him to get down for which he was not complying. I felt so bad for him because I am sure it felt unfair to him not get to get to play also. Being super hormonal and emotional I started to cry feeling empathetic to his situation and to that of the couple trying to help him.

I started to think about my baby that is growing inside me as each pregnancy a woman has there is always a chance of something happening within without your knowledge. I have always felt that if something would happen to my child that would impact their development internally or externally that it would of course be heart breaking. And at the same time I also believe that the love that I have for this life within is more powerful than any disappointment I may feel for the child or for us as parents for their future. I just know that all children are precious gifts from above and that each life has purpose and plan is very special.

My poor husband as he sat across from me at McDonalds with a wife breaking down in tears int he children's play place. He sat beside me feeling badly to see me crying so hard telling me it was going to be ok.

One thing about being pregnant for me is that emotions are a three-ring circus!

Either way, I thank God for children and for the amazing blessing it is to be a Mother. Anything that God may hand us I know has purpose and plan and ultimately is because He loves me and this child. I pray for this child's and all my children's healthy and safety daily. As I am sure you all do as well.

A long time since...a lot has happened since...7/22

So, its been months since I last wrote on this blog. I am a major slacker and now more than ever.

Well, as many of you know I am pregnant....again!

I found out I was pregnant on my second son's first birthday! We were having company over and I just didn't want to get interrupted by any monthly "issues" so I thought I'd just take a quick test to make sure I wasn't pregnant to prevent any "embarrassing" situations for the day of the party. My husband took the two boys to the store to get a few things I needed and give me some time to finish getting ready. I took the test real quick and sat it on my vanity as I did my make-up. Little did I know when I got up to look at it and throw it away that it would say, PREGNANT! I was devastated! I was not prepared for that result, I was expecting "NOT" Pregnant. So, as I sat there and tried to take it in what was happening I was upset that Sean wasn't there. I felt like it was years until he came home. And then I was perplexed on how to tell him. There are so many cute ways that people have chosen to tell their husbands they are pregnant but for me I was just so taken back I didn't have time to prepare a good presentation. As I went downstairs when Sean came home with the boys from the grocery store my heart was beating loudly in my chest. I had been very impatient and critical of him that morning because I was stressed to get all done for the party that I wanted. Unfortunately, I needed to apologize to him before I would even consider telling him we have another baby on the way! So I hugged him and apologized ever so lovingly. I told him how sorry I was and that I was way out of line for my grouchiness. So, anyway, after he forgave me I pulled away from the hug and said, "Its ok for me to be grouchy because I'm pregnant and hormonal." Sean thought I was joking and I had to convince him that it was real. He was so excited and I know I can always depend on Sean for a good reaction and supportive response. I was still very nervous, and so surprised. We were planning on another baby but just didn't realize that it would happen when we weren't exactly trying or hoping for it to happen.

It took a few weeks for me to really embrace this pregnancy because it was such a surprise and shock to my system. Everything has gone really well and although each time I get pregnant I shut down in "worry-mode" God has really blessed us with a healthy pregnancy. I am so thankful for that because I like any Mom once I get pregnant I am in love with this little life and would sacrifice anything and everything for him/her to be happy and healthy. I look forward to finding out the sex of the baby here in a few weeks. I'm nervous of course because we would just love a little girl because we have two boys. I've never bought anything pink or frilly for myself so the idea of it really excites me. However, if it is another boy I know Clayton and Calvin will welcome their 3rd musketeer with open arms. My friend Jessica told me she doesn't see me as a "only-boy" Mom so I am hoping deep down she is right. But as stated before we just want a healthy, and happy child.

This time around has been pretty different. I had pretty bad nausea with this pregnancy and just in these final last two weeks has it gotten better. However, now, the "eating" has begun and the last few nights I have been "starving" at bed time. I hate it! I can't fall asleep hungry though so, of course I eat. And I'm eating junk. Terrible! Terrible! And I just am yelling at myself internally for it. However, this may be the last time I'm pregnant and I don't want to spend it being miserable trying to eat like a nutritionist on steroids. So, I'm trying to just take it all in and not worry about my weight (although gaining way too fast) and just enjoy this time around. I'm exhausted though like I've never been before. My housework is definitely being overlooked and I of course am angry at myself for that as well. With 3 men living in this house there is so much to clean and pick up. I pick up all the toys and 3 minutes later a toy explosion as taken place. Or if I attempt to put things away then the "boys" think "wow, that looks interesting, let me play with that." I tried to get some storage/organizational boxes that now are the boys favorite things to play on, play in and carry around the house. I'm like, "really?" And the answer is, "really." I've never been pregnant before with 2 little boys to run after and I must say I'm pretty much not "succeeding" at being that "betty crocker - martha stewart - perfect homemaker" role that I really try to fulfill. I keep hoping that the next day I'll have more energy. But living in the desert in the summer time with over 100 degree heat advisory days we're vampires here which doesn't help your energy level whatsoever. Maybe in a few more weeks I'll get back on track with my cleaning, my attempts at organizing, and getting certain projects around the house that need to be done, finished. In the meantime, I am taking my naps, trying to sleep as long as my boys will let me in the morning, and letting everything else take second place.

I am so excited to share this wonderful news with all you and I am going to be a lot better about posting my blogs as it is more therapeutic for me than anything. :)

Sweet dreams everyone!

N