I can't believe that in 18 days my oldest son is going to be 3 years old! I am going to have a 3 year old in "my" house! I'm going to be a Mom of a 3 year old! ME? I'm no spring chicken mind you but just the thought of that age being involved in my life truly is an amazingly unbelieveable thought.
Seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant with him. Sean and I had just gotten married in May and found out right after our honeymoon that he was getting deployed in July. Not just any time in July but a day before my birthday. We were relenting about this of course and so we decided to take a "fun" trip to Kansas City before he was going to leave. The entire time we were there that day (a very warm day) I was thirsty and a little dizzy. Granted, I have my ditsy moments like anyone does but this day I was "really" out of it and felt a little nauseous at times. Sean kept saying, "you're pregnant, I know it." I thought this man was crazy because we had just gotten married May 20 and I was on birth control to prevent anything from happening. I decided after returning from our honeymoon to stop taking it for many personal reasons. One of which was to see if we could get pregnant but this was all before finding out he was leaving. I told Sean how horrible it would be for me to be pregnant with our first child with him being deployed. He responded thinking that it wouldn't be so bad because "not much happens in the first three months any way." (Which was the same amount of time he was going to be gone - a little longer than 3 months.) I laughed and thought how funny that would be but never thought it would become a reality.
The day he was going to leave I told him I would take pregnancy test to relieve him of any worry of me being pregnant only to find out that I wasn't. I wanted to tell him in person that his thoughts that I was were wrong instead of a cold impersonal phone call across the ocean. So the moment came and before I knew it, it was almost time for me to bring him to the base to drop him off. I was so preoccupied with trying to get all that he needed packed and so I had forgotten than I had the test sitting in the guest bathroom with the results. As I faintly remembered that I should go grab it before we were ready to walk out the door I casually walked in the bathroom to grab the test. As I looked down I went to read the "NOT PREGNANT" results in the window of the test only to see something I was not prepared to see "PREGNANT"! WHAT????>? How did this happen?? (Ok, so I knew how it happened but seriously was not in any state of mind to see this. Oh, my goodness I was so surprised I screamed, Sean came around the corner and saw me holding the test only to look at me and tear up. I was still in shock as he held me in his arms only for me to still be holding my hand to my mouth and the other the test. Still in range for me to stare at it.
It was definitely not the easiest first trimester because we had some unexpected circumstances arise early in the pregnancy that were thankfully, nothing to worry about. However, for a first time Mother without her husband available they were very dramatic, stressful and emotionally trying.
Its so interesting to remember these memories now wondering if the pregnancy has anything to do with the child's personality?? I mean if you have an easy pregnancy, does that mean you have an easy child? Well, I'm not Dr or psychic but I do know that Clayton at times is a little dramatic, he causes some stress, and definitely likes to try my emotions. However, just like when he was inside my belly he brings me happiness everyday and warms my heart in a way that no one else in this world can. I am so thankful for this child and I could not ever repay the Lord what for what He has given me in and through this child.
We named him after my Father who passed away a few years before I met Sean. He also has his Great-Grandfather's middle name who Sean likes to give credit to for inspiring him into the military. He is named for very special men in our lives and rightly so as he is one of the most special men in our lives.
Time flies by so fast. It makes it all that much more important for us to value and appreciate each day for what it is. An opportunity. An opportunity to do more, love better, and share our gifts more generously.
I thank God so much for the blessings I have through my husband and children. For our health, protection, and provisions we could not be more grateful.
Thank you Lord for giving to us such wonderful gifts.
Why do we ever worry knowing you are in control of all.
Thank you for the time you have given me in this world. I know I am not promised a tomorrow so I will live for today - in the moment - thanking you for each one you give me.
I hope for you all a blessed week and a great rest of your day.
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