Wow, how fast time flies by! This time last year I was very pregnant. I say, "very" because I was days away from giving birth to my second child. At the time I didn't know that it was for sure I would be delivering him at 37 weeks but I had a hunch since his older brother was born at 37 weeks as well. I was praying at this point last year that if he were to come early that he would just wait til after the TOP CHEF taping on base here at Nellis Air Force Base. My husband had gotten us a reservation to be on the shop and since it is probably one of my favorite shows ever I didn't want to miss the opportunity. Thankfully, my son did wait and only 5 days later I welcomed my son Calvin Daniel into the world on May 8th, 2009.
We are celebrating his first birthday tomorrow due to the fact that Mother's Day weekend might of caused some scheduling problems for some of our guests.
I am so thankful and excited for those who are planning on coming who want to share in our happiness to celebrate our second child's first year!
Calvin has been such a good baby. I have been very thankful for his laid back disposition and sweet personality.
Having a second child has taught me many things. I of course have learned to perfect the art of multi-tasking but more importantly really enjoying the amazing gift that all children are. My first child I was so worried all the time about the small details. I still struggle with the worry like any mother but I've made a lot of progress on letting the "small" things go and not let them take my mind hostage. Anyone who has multiple children can testify how different their children are. Seeing that first hand in my own family has been such a fun and exciting thing. Calvin started crawling at such a young age (5 months). Started pulling himself up at 6 months. Started trying to walk at 7 months and took his first steps shortly thereafter. Was taking 3 to 4 steps at a time at 8 months and at 9 months was walking easily. His older brother was also an early developer but was about a month and a half behind the progression his brother was making. With all that we have experienced with having two children just has inspired me and empowered me to want to have more. I'm not sure how many we will have for sure because following God's will for our lives is ultimately our first priority.
Not one day goes by that I don't praise the Lord for my children. Amongst all the "disciplinary" issues, meal challenges, and all the complexities included with being a parent I could not of asked God for a better gift than marrrying my husband and becoming a Mother to these two little boys.
Thank you Lord for my baby Calvin. Who is no longer a baby. But now, a true toddler.
We are grateful for each year you give us to be together as a family.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
4/28/10 - A new journey
I recently took a trip back home to Omaha, Nebraska for a Mommy-away weekend. I was very scared and nervous about leaving my children whom I have never been away from for any large amount of time over the past 3 years. My oldest son when he was 4 months I did leave with my sister-in-law when my husband took me on a birthday surprise trip to New York City. We were apart 2 days. Other than that, I have never left my children for more than a few hours at a time here and there. Even at that it is infrequent and short.
Thankfully, everyone stayed healthy and happy while I was away. A huge prayer request I had to the Lord before leaving and while gone. Fortunately, the kids did great under Sean's care as I had hoped and expected. Sean is a great Father to our children and I feel so enormously blessed to God for such a great man to be married too. Unfortunately, Sean himself did get sick while I was gone. He was trying so hard to keep up with the cleaning, laundry, and everyday activities that it caught up with his immune system. I feel so grateful to him for allowing me the opportunity to leave but more importantly to love me so much to give me a spic and span home to come home too. What an amazing feeling to walk through the door and see the house better than how I left it. I think he is in for a big wake up call though now that I see what he is capable of!! (Ha ha ha!)
My stay in Nebraska for the most part was a very good one. I was able to reconnect with my family whom I had not been able to visit in a year and a half. Seeing my nephew's newest daughter for the first time was such a blessing. She is such a well-behaved baby and I enjoyed thoroughly getting to meet her in person. Spending time with my other young niece and nephews was also very nice. All kids grow up fast whether they are mine or my nephews. It was such a blessing to be able to "be" present in their lives even if it was a short time.
Another blessing was found in spending some quality time with my two best friends Jill and Holly. Getting to listen to all that they are doing and are learning was so refreshing. How I miss spending time with them! Laughing, crying and giggling with them again made me so excited once again that I am so privileged to get to be in their lives.
On another different note while home I was able to share a very intimate and important aspect of a journey in my life I had decided a few months ago to embark on. Responses to this update were very diverse. Some were supportive and others weren't. However, all the while I have not been altered from my pursuit of this new journey.
Some of you may know or not know that I am adopted. I recently had to reapply for my naturalization certificate because I had misplaced the original through all my moves etc. In doing so, I was asked to provide proof of the adoption and all the documentation I had of my previous life in Korea and how I came to live in the United States. As I sifted through all the documents and read them with enjoyment of considering what my life could of been had I been meant to stay in South Korea. As I read through my health certificate completed in Korea prior to my departure to the United States I saw that it included the name of my biological Father. Suddenly, I realized that an immense peace and power had come over me giving me the motivation to once and for all pursue finding this man and possibly meeting him. Being adopted internationally pretty much means I have other information other than what was provided on the health certificate documentating how I came to be put up for adoption. The circumstances surrounding it was pretty much all that I was given. I would like to know my biological family's medical history as now it also affects my children. Knowing heart disease, allergies, cancer and or any other health problems that they could encounter is a very high priority for me to find out now. Both my children are healthy and I am incredibly grateful for this but I believe it important to know for the future as well as any other children we may decide to have. I also am very curious to know if I resemble my biological family and/or if I have any other living relatives that I could get pictures of to research this.
I have a lot ahead of me in this new journey but I am hopeful knowing that I am opening a whole new can of worms that may or may not be full of good or bad things. Either way, I'm willing to accept whatever consequences that may follow with this endeavor. I encourage you to consider to follow me on this adventure as I begin a new blog dedicated only to my pursuit of my biological Father. I am hoping that in doing this to share it one day with my children and maybe I can inspire others out there to consider adoption or even provide that added courage to take this step of faith to do something they never thought they would ever realistically follow through with. That's how I feel at least.
In the meantime, let me make it very clear that I am not doing this with any other intention than what I have shared. I have no void to fill in this area. I consider my real parents the ones who adopted, loved and cared for me. Those two angels in heaven are the people that I identify family with and I will never change that. I have no identity problems when it comes to this aspect of my life. Some that are adopted feel abandoned or resentful of their past life circumstances. However, for me I can not relate to those feelings or perspectives because I had a wonderful and blessed life full of love. No one could of given me a better life than what I was provided through my Mom and Dad. My only regret in life with this decision is that I didn't do it sooner. My husband being the amazing man that he is is so supportive and excited for me to take brave steps down this road.
Only God knows what waits for me and I thank Him for that. Knowing that I am not walking alone and having His presence with me gives me such peace and understanding.
God bless you all wherever you are or whatever paths you are walking down or considering taking!
Thankfully, everyone stayed healthy and happy while I was away. A huge prayer request I had to the Lord before leaving and while gone. Fortunately, the kids did great under Sean's care as I had hoped and expected. Sean is a great Father to our children and I feel so enormously blessed to God for such a great man to be married too. Unfortunately, Sean himself did get sick while I was gone. He was trying so hard to keep up with the cleaning, laundry, and everyday activities that it caught up with his immune system. I feel so grateful to him for allowing me the opportunity to leave but more importantly to love me so much to give me a spic and span home to come home too. What an amazing feeling to walk through the door and see the house better than how I left it. I think he is in for a big wake up call though now that I see what he is capable of!! (Ha ha ha!)
My stay in Nebraska for the most part was a very good one. I was able to reconnect with my family whom I had not been able to visit in a year and a half. Seeing my nephew's newest daughter for the first time was such a blessing. She is such a well-behaved baby and I enjoyed thoroughly getting to meet her in person. Spending time with my other young niece and nephews was also very nice. All kids grow up fast whether they are mine or my nephews. It was such a blessing to be able to "be" present in their lives even if it was a short time.
Another blessing was found in spending some quality time with my two best friends Jill and Holly. Getting to listen to all that they are doing and are learning was so refreshing. How I miss spending time with them! Laughing, crying and giggling with them again made me so excited once again that I am so privileged to get to be in their lives.
On another different note while home I was able to share a very intimate and important aspect of a journey in my life I had decided a few months ago to embark on. Responses to this update were very diverse. Some were supportive and others weren't. However, all the while I have not been altered from my pursuit of this new journey.
Some of you may know or not know that I am adopted. I recently had to reapply for my naturalization certificate because I had misplaced the original through all my moves etc. In doing so, I was asked to provide proof of the adoption and all the documentation I had of my previous life in Korea and how I came to live in the United States. As I sifted through all the documents and read them with enjoyment of considering what my life could of been had I been meant to stay in South Korea. As I read through my health certificate completed in Korea prior to my departure to the United States I saw that it included the name of my biological Father. Suddenly, I realized that an immense peace and power had come over me giving me the motivation to once and for all pursue finding this man and possibly meeting him. Being adopted internationally pretty much means I have other information other than what was provided on the health certificate documentating how I came to be put up for adoption. The circumstances surrounding it was pretty much all that I was given. I would like to know my biological family's medical history as now it also affects my children. Knowing heart disease, allergies, cancer and or any other health problems that they could encounter is a very high priority for me to find out now. Both my children are healthy and I am incredibly grateful for this but I believe it important to know for the future as well as any other children we may decide to have. I also am very curious to know if I resemble my biological family and/or if I have any other living relatives that I could get pictures of to research this.
I have a lot ahead of me in this new journey but I am hopeful knowing that I am opening a whole new can of worms that may or may not be full of good or bad things. Either way, I'm willing to accept whatever consequences that may follow with this endeavor. I encourage you to consider to follow me on this adventure as I begin a new blog dedicated only to my pursuit of my biological Father. I am hoping that in doing this to share it one day with my children and maybe I can inspire others out there to consider adoption or even provide that added courage to take this step of faith to do something they never thought they would ever realistically follow through with. That's how I feel at least.
In the meantime, let me make it very clear that I am not doing this with any other intention than what I have shared. I have no void to fill in this area. I consider my real parents the ones who adopted, loved and cared for me. Those two angels in heaven are the people that I identify family with and I will never change that. I have no identity problems when it comes to this aspect of my life. Some that are adopted feel abandoned or resentful of their past life circumstances. However, for me I can not relate to those feelings or perspectives because I had a wonderful and blessed life full of love. No one could of given me a better life than what I was provided through my Mom and Dad. My only regret in life with this decision is that I didn't do it sooner. My husband being the amazing man that he is is so supportive and excited for me to take brave steps down this road.
Only God knows what waits for me and I thank Him for that. Knowing that I am not walking alone and having His presence with me gives me such peace and understanding.
God bless you all wherever you are or whatever paths you are walking down or considering taking!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
4/1/10 - Weeds........
I was taking the time today to weed out in front of our house this afternoon. As I bent over plucking these nasty things out of our rock landscaping I was considering how truly metaphoric weeds are in life. First of all, they are unwanted and inconvenient happenings to our yards/gardens/everywhere. Just like our own lives we have so many things about ourselves that we would love to change (thus unwanted) and life circumstances that come into our lives that are truly inconvenient. The interesting aspect of it all is that those things are rooted into the very deep soil of ourselves. In order to take them out we have to pull them from the roots or else they'll grow back like they always do. So being intentional and focused the start of this catalystic change begins by pulling from the root to get it out and hopefully, keep it out.
In my own life I definitely have my fair share (or more) weeds. I would like to say that I'm starting on the roots to pull them out and put the effort to keep them out but the truth is I struggle with falling back into bad habits.
Lately, I have been really trying to focus on remembering that all that I do does not require anything in return. No applause, no cheering, no thank yous, nothing, just that I am doing it to serve and love my family. Gary Thomas who wrote the book "Sacred Marriage" said in his teaching DVD that "God sees what we do and He always appreciates it." That hit me hard because sometimes as a stay-at-home Mom I can at times feel a little down because the work I do everyday isn't life-changing. If the laundry doesn't get done by me, someone else can do it. If the dishwasher doesn't get unloaded, someone else will get to it. I'm not anymore special than the next person because I vacumned and dusted today. However, when I consider that all that I do, I do because I love my family and would do anything to help them. God sees my hard work, my sweat, my tears, and appreciates how I'm doing it and why I'm doing it. Since hearing this it has confirmed me in so many ways. Such a simple principle but very impacting for my life.
I have a lot of other weeds that source themselves inside of my struggle of being selfish. Not sure if ever I'll truly overcome this area of weakness anytime soon or if at all. However, I am trying and seek each day to ask God to help me become less of myself and more like Him daily.
The weeding inside this girl has a long way to go. No matter how long it takes I'm going to keep trying and working on it!
Have a great day everyone!
Best wishes for a wonderful and memorable Easter weekend with your loved ones!
Just as Jesus is the reason for the Christmas season. He is the reason why we have hope. Hosanna, Hosanna He has risen!!
In my own life I definitely have my fair share (or more) weeds. I would like to say that I'm starting on the roots to pull them out and put the effort to keep them out but the truth is I struggle with falling back into bad habits.
Lately, I have been really trying to focus on remembering that all that I do does not require anything in return. No applause, no cheering, no thank yous, nothing, just that I am doing it to serve and love my family. Gary Thomas who wrote the book "Sacred Marriage" said in his teaching DVD that "God sees what we do and He always appreciates it." That hit me hard because sometimes as a stay-at-home Mom I can at times feel a little down because the work I do everyday isn't life-changing. If the laundry doesn't get done by me, someone else can do it. If the dishwasher doesn't get unloaded, someone else will get to it. I'm not anymore special than the next person because I vacumned and dusted today. However, when I consider that all that I do, I do because I love my family and would do anything to help them. God sees my hard work, my sweat, my tears, and appreciates how I'm doing it and why I'm doing it. Since hearing this it has confirmed me in so many ways. Such a simple principle but very impacting for my life.
I have a lot of other weeds that source themselves inside of my struggle of being selfish. Not sure if ever I'll truly overcome this area of weakness anytime soon or if at all. However, I am trying and seek each day to ask God to help me become less of myself and more like Him daily.
The weeding inside this girl has a long way to go. No matter how long it takes I'm going to keep trying and working on it!
Have a great day everyone!
Best wishes for a wonderful and memorable Easter weekend with your loved ones!
Just as Jesus is the reason for the Christmas season. He is the reason why we have hope. Hosanna, Hosanna He has risen!!
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